#but yeah :) I graduated college today like fr :)

[taketheringtolohac]

officially graduated :)

[bluesidez]

GymRat!Miguel Part 9.2 | full chapter without breaks on AO3

content warning: more fluff, more laughs, a little bit of insecurity from Miguel and reader, underage drinking (all of the characters are aged 18-20 so by USA standards, that's underaged. but college kids will be college kids. and so will high school graduates.), a mention of an edible like once, Hobie is here! (fr this time), Pavitr too, even more jealous Miguel, 18+ so MNDI, wet wet relations, fellatio, cunnilingus, Miguel is a munch (his fantasies are unraveling finally), cum play if you squint, partially public indecency???, I think that's it

word count: 9.3k, halfway proofread (I split it really weirdly so I apologize for that lol)

Some of the links used in this part are just to give you an idea of what's going on! Enjoy! 🩵

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GymRat!Miguel who texts Tyler while you’re in the shower. 

Dad…Tyler:

“She really loved it. Thank you so much for helping me out with this, Dad.”

“Any time, son! I’m glad everything went well! I can have my people send over the video form of the animation if you would like.”

“Sure, I can have it on hand.”

“And I take it, you like the yacht?”

“It’s extremely nice! Captain Barrett is pretty cool.”

“Don’t tell him you said that or it’ll go to that funny mustache.”

“Ok 😭”

“I did have a question though.”

“Ask away.”

“What did Kron do to his other boat?”

“What didn’t he do to that boat? He had too many friends on that thing all with a mix of substances I could never dream of combining. Their parents had to come drag them out lest the police get involved. I’ve never helped Kron with any event or party since then. He hasn’t earned it and he embarrassed me greatly.”

“Would you be more comfortable if we held off on the drinks?”

“See son, the difference between you and Kron is that you understand the legal ramifications of doing something so idiotic as having illegal items on a property that isn’t yours as a minor. You also have integrity and respect, something that Kron has lost sight of. I trust that neither you nor your friends will do anything too drastic.”

“Yeah, there’s no crazy stuff happening this weekend.”

“I believe it.”

“Get back to your girlfriend now. Thank you for checking up on your old man. Tell her I said hello.”

“For sure. Good night.”

“Good night!”

GymRat!Miguel who opens his arms up to you as you come out of the bathroom. You hurried to lay in his arms, skin warm from your shower. 

You snuggle up under his chin, “Today was really fun.”

“Yeah?” he rubs your head slowly. 

“Mm hm. Now, we should sleep.”

A yawn racks through Miguel’s body, the day of driving settling in his bones. 

You keep your ear on his chest. The steady tempo of his heart and his breaths lulling you to sleep. 

GymRat!Miguel who is still asleep by the time you wake up. You both ended up at opposite ends of the giant bed with just your legs intertwining. 

You look over to Miguel and watch his chest rise and fall, his snores crescendoing at each breath. 

You lay your head back on the pillow, eyes tracing the shape of his face in this morning light. The water was calm, giving the boat a slight rock. Some seagulls flew by, their sounds fading in and out. 

You scoot closer to get a better look, your hand lightly following the line of his face. 

His eyes flutter open at your touch, a brown sea welcoming you. 

“G’morning,” his voice is terribly deep like this. The timbre shoots straight to your core. 

“Morning. I didn’t mean to wake you up,” you whisper. 

Miguel moves to lay his head on your chest, taking a deep breath. “It’s fine. The sight made me feel like I went to heaven.”

He pulled you closer by the waist, “Ten more minutes?”

“Rest up all you need, bear-bear.”

GymRat!Miguel who is just as excited as Gabriel when he gets to the deck that morning. The agenda was swimming with the dolphins before everyone else got here.

Miguel and Gabriel were practically buzzing in their matching wetsuits. Dana snuck in a video laughing at the twin looks on their faces. 

GymRat!Miguel who sneaks glances at your form on the way to the dolphin center. You’re leaning over the edge of the smaller boat, the wind against your face. The wetsuit was doing wonders for the curve of your figure. 

GymRat!Miguel who ends up going into a nerd session about dolphins with Gabriel. Both of them are spitting out dolphin facts at the speed of light. 

 “I just think that if you were to be any dolphin, it’s so obvious that you would be an orca.” 

“But why, though? Because I’m big? That’s a new low, even for you, Gabri.”

“No, it’s because you’re mixed, obviously. Killer whale aka orca aka dolphin. Duh, Miguelito.”

“Don’t ‘duh’ me because that doesn’t even make sense. Orcas are still classified as dolphins even though they look like whales.”

“Just like you-”

“I’m going to smack you off the side of this boat if you finish that sentence.”

“Resulting to violence just like a killer whale, what a shame.”

“You’re so annoying. Orcas are smart, they speak different languages based on their pod, and the name was actually ‘whale killers,’ not ‘killer whales.’ That would make me an orca, but I would not be one because I would never take care of my family but abandon my children.”

“A lot of male dolphins abandon their families. A lot of them hang out with the bros and come back.”

“Female dolphins can do the hard work of carrying babies from ten to eighteen months, so enlighten me, Gabri. What are the male dolphins doing with the bros?”

Gabriel squinted his eyes and put his finger up weakly, “This is a trick question.”

“No it’s not! Don’t you know the answer?” Miguel put his hands out, as if waiting for a physical object to be presented. 

“I do know the answer, which is why I don’t want to give you the satisfaction.”

“Well, now I want to know because you two nerds wouldn’t shut up about bottlenose dolphins just five minutes ago,” Dana scoffs as she takes off her shades, the morning sun too much for her. 

“That’s not the same energy you had last night when I-”

“No one wants to hear that.”

“Shut up, Miguel,” Gabriel snaps back. “They take care of other dolphin babies. And sometimes become friends with benefits with their homies.”

Dana makes a disgusted face, “And you’re defending that? Wow. So when I have your kid you’re going to leave me and go do fuck all with Pavitr?”

“No, Dana, I would never do that! We discussed this! Miguel is going to study seahorses, make me a safe mutation, and I’ll carry them for you!”

“I don’t even study genetics so I have no clue what you’re talking about.”

“So you wouldn’t carry her babies?” Gabriel gestures towards you in a panic. 

Miguel looks towards you at the front of the boat, watching the water go by. 

He thought of you as a mom, carrying his kid, holding their hand in the park, picking decor for the nursery. 

He thought of you under him, taking everything he could give you and more. You screaming his name as the bed creaks loud enough to fill the hallway. 

“I would, but that’s not the question right now.”

“Why did it take you so long to answer that?” Gabriel’s tone was high. 

“Oh my god, he was thinking of getting her pregnant,” Dana says in horror. 

“Oh, so I have to listen to your escapades, but I can’t even daydream in silence?”

GymRat!Miguel who listens intently to the staff. No harm shall come to any dolphin on his behalf.  

GymRat!Miguel who makes friends with one of the cute dolphins. Her name is Dotty because of the few spots she has on her body. 

She immediately gravitates towards Miguel. Her blowhole squeals constantly whenever Miguel talks to her. 

“Well I think Dotty is in love!” the instructor yells from across the enclosed water. 

GymRat!Miguel who laughs at Dana who keeps getting splashed on by the baby dolphins. 

GymRat!Miguel who looks so cute with his nose touching Dotty’s rostrum. They’re spinning in circles with Dotty clicking away like a cat purring. 

GymRat!Miguel who watches you interact with one of the bigger dolphins whose name is Mon. 

“Mon and Dotty are a couple, but he’s a little sad today because Dotty isn't giving him any attention,” the instructor says with a giant pout on her face. 

Even Mon’s clicks sounded sad and Miguel didn’t know how that was possible. 

Mon places his chin on your shoulder and you’re immediately in love, rubbing his body and consoling him and his broken heart. 

“It’s ok, Mon. You can hang out with me,” you say in a sweet voice. Mon’s fins squeezed you even tighter. 

A sweater, some random guys, Dana, Blake, and now a dolphin. Miguel can’t win. 

GymRat!Miguel who watches Mon click and spin happily when you feed him fish for doing a trick. 

“That was so good, Monie!” you pat his head, and he leans into your hands. 

GymRat!Miguel who thinks Dotty and Mon are a bit like you and him. They’re twirling in the water together, rubbing their bodies close. 

GymRat!Miguel who sits with you on the boat ride back, watching the dolphins race with the boat halfway to the yacht.

GymRat!Miguel whose eyebrows raise when he sees one of your friends as you guys step off the boat. 

“Hobie!” you squeal, running to hug the lanky figure. 

“My girl! How have you been, love?” he asks, a deep London accent lining his words. 

Love?

“I’m so happy you made it! How’s the apprenticeship? Any new techniques to share?”

“A lot more than techniques, if you know what I mean?” Hobie leaned on you as he snickered away. 

Miguel might pop a fuse. 

GymRat!Miguel who lingers by as you chat away with Hobie. The two of you are catching up for a while and Miguel wants to walk back to the room with you so you can help him take off this tight wetsuit. 

He’s lightly kicking at a puddle with his arms crossed when you call his name. 

“This is my boyfriend, Miguel,” you say, coming up to him and wrapping an arm around his.

“He’s a big one, innit?” Hobie says, holding his hand out. “Hobie Brown.”

Miguel shook it with a sturdy hand, “Miguel O’Hara. Nice to meet you.”

“How long have you known this firecracker for?” Hobie gestured to you with a smile.

“It’ll be a year once August hits. The best ten months of my life, honestly,” Miguel says, leaning down to kiss your temple. 

“She’s got you wrapped ‘round her finger, yeah?” Hobie smirked at the love drunk look on Miguel’s face. “Yeah, you’re a goner. That’s just how she is. One encounter and it’s hard to let go.”

Hobie went to pick up his one backpack, a master at light travel from how much he’s moving. 

“Don’t let me stop yous two from partying. See ya in an hour, love,” Hobie said walking away. 

You look up at Miguel, “The best ten months?”

“Yep. Love?”

“It’s a British thing. He’s friendly!”

“Hm.”

“And definitely demisexual.”

“Hmph.”

“You’re very territorial.”

“For good reason.”

GymRat!Miguel who makes it to the boardwalk after he’s changed to greet their friends and guide them to the yacht. 

There’s a lot of you, especially from Gabriel and Dana’s graduating class. Miguel greets everyone warmly. 

It feels good to unite his old friends and newer friends together.

GymRat!Miguel who makes a plan to be the best at every activity on the agenda today. Yeah, he wanted to have fun, but for some reason, he felt like he had something to prove.

He walks back out to the top deck to see Hobie laying out on the flat slats under the shade. His arms are crossed and his shades are hiding his full expression. 

From here, Miguel can hear Blake chatting it up with some of the girls that are hanging out near the on-deck pool. He looks over the edge and sees him grinning from ear to ear as the girls giggle. He clicks his teeth at the scene. 

“Big Migs, c’mere for a sec, will ya?” Hobie said.

“He’s a bit chatty, that one. An overachiever if I’ve ever seen it.”

On second thought, Miguel might like Hobie a lot.

“All morning, he’s been spitting nothing but rubbish. Going on and on about the boat and the city and his socials. Nothing of substance, just straight air.”

Miguel snickered, “It feels like that’s all he’s got going for himself. His daddy’s boat, his daddy’s money, and his face.”

Miguel recounts the events from last afternoon. How he lacked respect for not only him but for you and your personal space. 

“Not gonna lie, I’d smash his head in,” Hobie replied calmly.

Miguel let out a hearty laugh, “I wanted to and honestly, I could, but there are several circumstances stopping me. Such as the fact that we’re on his dad’s property.”

“But deep it, when’s the next time you’ll need to be on this thing?”

Miguel is about to respond in agreement when you round the corner from the stairs. 

“There you two are!”

You smile at the two of them, “Are you guys getting along? Has Hobie convinced you to join him on some scheme across the country?”

Miguel took a deep breath before responding. He knew what outfits you brought with you, a lot of them matched his own, but it was still like new whenever you put them on. 

He didn’t have enough time in the world to cherish your beauty. 

“They’re not schemes, baby, they’re elaborate plans,” Miguel responds.

“Man like, Migs!” Hobie hops up and drags his arm around Miguel’s shoulders. 

You shake your head with a warm smile on your face, laughing at Hobie’s antics.

“And you look stunning. Though, I’m not too sure if it’s fit for hoverboarding.”

“That’s because I’m jet skiing and shaking ass, Hobie. You guys can have fun flipping in the air.”

“Right on, then. Migs and I have important business to attend to.”

Miguel nods, “Extremely important.”

You eyed them both, “Uh huh.” They left in a controlled frenzy, Hobie pulling his wicks up with a giant band and Miguel cracking his neck.

You didn’t even want to know. 

GymRat!Miguel who is a bit peeved that Blake has to give the water hoverboard demonstration. He’s staying up there longer than necessary, grabbing girls to balance them in the middle of his board while he flips them around.

You’re standing next to Miguel during it all, waiting for Miguel’s turn so you can get a video.

“Hey!” Blake yells out in your direction. “Wanna take it for a spin?”

You shake your head and yell back, “No, I’m good!”

“Just three minutes! Don’t be scared! I won’t drop you.”

“No thanks,” you bite back, voice irritated. 

Blake smiles with a hand on his hip, ready to convince you, when Hobie pipes up, “The lady said no. Can we move on?”

Blake’s face cracked a bit as he told one of the crew members to kill the power in the waterboard. 

“What is up with him?” you mumble to yourself. 

“I think he likes you,” Pavitr remarked. “He wouldn’t stop asking Gabriel questions about you.”

“He’s really pushing it,” Miguel scoffed. Not only was he being overly flirty to every girl on board, he was adamant about getting your attention. “No wonder he gets along with Kron.”

You sported a twisted lip as you watched him strap up one of Gabriel’s friends. “I don’t know. Even if I was single, he’s a bit too…tiny. Communal.”

The laugh that left Miguel wiped the scowl right off of his face.

GymRat!Miguel who gets the hang of the hoverboard after one try. You’re recording him with a big smile on your face as he tries to spell “love” in the air. 

GymRat!Miguel who dies laughing at Gabriel’s horrible attempts at staying in the air. His body keeps shaking like a baby deer and he’s steady yelling in garbled Spanish. 

By the time his turn is over, Miguel is laid out on the boardwalk with tears down his face.

“This isn’t fucking funny, Miguel,” Gabriel cries out.

Miguel just rolls and laughs some more. 

GymRat!Miguel who watches you expertly drive a jet ski from the edge of the yacht. You’re shouting with one arm in the air as you race Dana and some of her friends. 

Miguel leans his head on his hand as he watches you zoom across the ocean. Your skin is glowing, your smile is sparkling, and your laugh is bright. 

GymRat!Miguel whose bubble of thoughts involving you, him, the water, some fruit, and a floatie is popped when Blake’s voice pierces through. 

“She’s pretty good at that.”

“Yep.” Maybe if Miguel ignored him enough, he’d go away.

“Looks like a dream, too.”

“Are you dumb or something?” Miguel turns his body, gripping the rail to not get in Blake’s face, but extending his height to cower over him.

“Woah,” Blake holds his hands up. “It was a compliment, dude, chill out. You’re not mad at me for finding her beautiful, are you?”

“That’s not what the fuck you’re doing and you know it.”

Blake makes a confused face, laughing off Miguel’s statement, “Kron said you guys were open.”

“Does it look like we’re fucking open?”

“Well, at first-”

“Keep talking and you’ll end up just like him. Knocked out. Do you want that?” Miguel edged closer to him. “Huh?”

Blake bristles, ready to defend himself when his head is knocked to the side. 

He looks next to him to see a gaggle of girls all with waterballoons and nerf guns. They yell at him to come on and pick a side. 

Blake scrambles to join them.

Miguel is about to follow when Hobie sweeps in front of him, “Cool it.”

GymRat!Miguel who almost takes an edible from Hobie but decides against it. 

“The offer is open all weekend.”

“Noted.”

GymRat!Miguel who gets roped into playing some games to start off the night, one of which is Never Have I Ever with shots. 

It started off innocently with things like peeing in a pool and cheating on a test to which everyone looked in shock at Miguel when he put a finger down. 

“I’m smart but if there’s a group effort to get the right answers, I’m not going to say no.”

Then it went left field and personal with things like threesomes, drunkenly fighting with others, and streaking. 

“Never have I ever…received head from a partner!”

A few of the guys put a finger down, groaning out and snickering as they had to take another shot. 

Miguel was trying not to dwell on how many experiences he lacked compared to the group, a lot of them younger than him. 

He rubbed his tongue across his teeth. He didn’t want to show his irritation on his face. 

Looking across the circle, he could see Gabriel’s eyes get wide, staring off beside you. 

Miguel followed his line of sight landing on you with a finger down and a shot in your hand. 

What the fuck. 

Who the fuck beat him to it? Where the fuck did it happen? When the fuck did it happen? How the fuck did he not know?

He’s ready for the game to be over. 

“Miguel is putting in work!” one guy pushes his elbow against Miguel’s side, laughing and patting his shoulders. 

Well, if people think he did it, it’s not so bad. 

“Oh my god, girl, how was it?” Dana’s friend asked you. 

Miguel tried his best not to scream bloody murder. 

“It was,” you pause, looking up to ponder. “It was something! Not particularly fun or good. My ex wasn’t the best at listening so he just poked at me. I faked everything that night.”

Miguel smirked. There were no big shoes to fill because they were never taken out of the box. Or even out of the store. 

“That sucks. I bet he thought you were in heaven.”

You laugh with the girls, joking in a way similar to the women that flooded Miguel’s for-you page. 

Miguel stepped away to get a breather. If he stayed any longer, he might do something drastic. 

GymRat!Miguel who is leaning on the boat when Gabriel comes to check up on him. 

“You ok, Miguelito?”

“Yeah, I’m alright. A little overwhelmed so I need to reset,” Miguel wrung his wrists while he let the sea breeze cool him down. 

“Is it the game? Don’t feel so bad,” Gabriel leans closer to Miguel and speaks in a stage whisper. “Some of them are a little too fast for their own good.”

Miguel snickered. Gabriel was definitely tipsy. 

“Thanks, Gabri.”

“Anytime. Don’t let them bring you down. You’re my perfect Miguelito. My pure baby!” Gabriel kissed him on the cheek.

“Ugh,” Miguel laughed and wiped at his wet cheek.

“Don’t wipe away at my love, broski.”

GymRat!Miguel who is guided by you in a dance. You’re a little tipsy and giggly, holding onto him as you dance to the music. 

Miguel just holds onto your hips and smiles with you. 

GymRat!Miguel who is locked in on your body as you grind against him. You’re arching your back and looking at him with a sparkle in your eye and Miguel feels like a wild animal.

When you lean back against him, he whispers in your ear about a private party just for the two of you. You bite your lip and turn to look at him. His eyes are tracing your lips and his hands are groping you. 

GymRat!Miguel who laughs at you as you wish everyone a good night quickly.

“I’ll see you guys in the morning!” you shout to your friends as you pull Miguel behind you to the room.

GymRat!Miguel who waits for you on the bed while you use the bathroom. 

He’s excited for an intimate night with just you. Parties were fun but it really couldn’t beat the serenity of smaller groups. It especially couldn’t beat talking all night with you. 

Everyone else was chilling out in other parts of the yacht, back in their hotel rooms, or night paddle boarding. 

You’re in the bathroom staring at the thin fabric in your hand. 

Miguel told you that there was a pool involved. 

You bought a micro bikini during a surge of confidence. It looked so cute on the model and you wanted to feel the same way. 

Now you’re standing in the bathroom freaking out, worried to death over the flimsy material. You were excited about Miguel seeing it, but you couldn’t shake your own nerves about how everything would play out. 

A knock at the door makes you jump.

You crack the door and peer up at Miguel. 

“You ok in there?” he asked, eyebrows pinched. 

“Yeah, I’m ok! I’ll be out in just a sec!”

You bite the bullet and place the bikini on. 

You didn’t account for your areolas to poke out beyond the triangles. You bit your lip as you turned to check out your backside.

At least your ass looked great. 

In a nervous motion, you pull your coverup over you and pull your hair up so that it doesn’t get too ruined by the water. It was now or never. 

GymRat!Miguel who holds your hand as he guides you to the private area. You’re squeezing his hand so tight. 

One of the stewardesses smiles as she sees you two coming. She stands next to a rope cutting off the area. 

“Good evening to you both! I hope you’ve been enjoying your stay so far,” her voice is polite and even. “Tonight, it’ll be just you two enjoying the Galaxy. If you need anything, just press the call button on the wall and I’ll be right down.”

She unlatches the rope and holds her arm out in the direction of the stairs.

You both slowly descend, careful not to slip on the trippy-looking wood. 

Taking a step into the room, Miguel stares in awe at the glowing pool. 

There’s petals fluttering about, small fairy lights surround the corners to add extra light. Looking up, you both can see the night sky with the stars adorning it. 

“This is beautiful,” you say, the lights surrounding you glittering in your eyes. 

You were staring at the stars and the lights but Miguel couldn’t help but to think that you were the most beautiful part of the room. 

He said this much to you, watching as you bent your head down hiding the smile on your face. Miguel lifted it back up and kissed you under the light of the stars. 

“Ready?” 

“Yeah, let me just go take this off.” 

You walk towards a chair with folded towels placed on it. 

“Miguel, these have our names on them!” you say with shock, running your fingers over the embroidered letters. Hearts surrounded the names and you felt fuzzy from the implication of the stewardess preparing this. 

“Yeah, I heard it was a part of the couple’s bundle,” he shouts from the pool. It wasn’t really a part of the bundle, but Miguel suggested it way before the trip. 

His back was turned to you, trying to set up a speaker by the pool. 

The moment was perfect, so you opened a champagne bottle and poured two glasses. You took a huge gulp of one and removed your slip. 

GymRat!Miguel who hears you entering the water, so he hurries to pick out a song. 

The mood needs to be right. 

He turns to you and nearly drowns at the sight. (Art is not affiliated with this fic, but I couldn't find any plus-size women in real life on Pinterest with this type of bikini! Please give this artist some love, I love their art!)

You’re coming down the stairs with two glasses in your hand and your skin on full display. The strings are digging tight into your skin and your breasts are practically spilling out from every side. 

Miguel is stunned.

“Come grab your drink, Miguel,” your voice is like butter in his ears. 

His eyes don’t leave you as he swims across the pool. The only sounds that could be heard are the water moving around him and the music playing. When he gets closer, he stands up, water dripping down his body. He’s breathing hard and is laser-focused on your frame. 

You feel an array of emotions. You feel like running, jumping, maybe hiding. His gaze is too heavy and he hasn’t spoken a word yet. 

You don’t know how long you two stare at each other before Miguel breaks the tension, “You’re going to be the death of me.”

He takes the glasses from your hand with one hand and picks you up in the other. You cling to him as he goes to the edge of the pool, places one glass down and chugs the other. 

In a flash, you’re sitting on the edge and he’s holding his body out of the water in order to kiss you. 

He pushes your mouth open, pulling at your lip with his teeth. He was desperate, wanting more. 

Your hands find your way to his hair, the tips wet from his swim. You card your fingers through his locks, opening your mouth wider as Miguel groans onto your tongue. 

He can’t stop, body moving forward the deeper the kisses get. Your legs open wider and your hands fall down Miguel’s back. You go lower than usual, pushing your hands under his swimsuit, fingertips grazing over the skin of his ass. 

Miguel parts, spit-ridden mouth red and messy. 

“You’re making this so hard for me,” he says against your lips. You’re both panting into each other’s mouths. 

Your body feels like jelly. The way that he’s looking at you fills you with desire, “Making what hard?” You’re quivering and clenching as his eyes seem to get darker. 

“Baby,” Miguel kisses the corner of your lips then your jaw. He moves to where your jaw and neck connect, licking  “Amor. I can’t.”

You move your head, encouraging him to continue, “You can if you want to.”

“No, I’m supposed to take this slow,” his mouth moved to your collarbone, sucking at the skin as you squeezed your thighs around him. “I need to take this slow.”

He gets to your breasts, pressing your nipples through the material and watching as your areolas poked out more. “Mierda.”

You try to talk as Miguel takes one breast into his mouth, “It’s ok to want more. I want, ugh, I want you to take more.” He pulls at your nipple, watching as it rises more through the fabric. His thumb traces it, causing you to twitch in his hold. 

He continues to rub over the fabric as he kisses down your stomach. The string is wrapping around your stomach like a gift just for him. 

“Tomorrow, baby,” he says into your skin. “I’ll take more tomorrow.”

He needed to stop before he broke the promise he made to himself. 

He hears you whine as he gets eerily close to your sex before jerking his body straight. 

“Why?” you sound so needy and broken. 

“Because,” he kisses your pout away. “Tomorrow, I’m going to take all I need. You just need to trust me. Please.”

You nod your head, heart pounding with his words. 

GymRat!Miguel who lets you persuade him into swapping places. All it took was a few blinks of your eyes and Miguel was swooning.

“I saw you walk away during the game today. I wanted to make sure that the next time you play, you’re able to put a finger down.”

That’s what you told him with a sweet smile on your face.

Now you’re rubbing up his thighs and Miguel is about to pass out from the view of you peering up at him. Your eyes were foggy and the slope of your neck to your chest was glistening. From this angle, Miguel could see the curve of your ass with the bikini barely covering it.

You run your hands down his chest, fingers dancing along the slopes and planes, leaving a wet trail in your wake. Miguel’s stomach tightens as you make it below his belly button, the sensation of your fingertips across his happy trail building a fury in his core.

You kiss him through his swimsuit causing him to jump.

You hold his thighs and tilt your head to lean on one, “Are you nervous, Miggy?” Your knuckles rake against his groin, lingering in spots that made his inner thighs clench the most.

“I,” Miguel is trembling like a leaf. He can barely get the words out from how much energy he's using to hold himself up. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” You lift your body from the water a little, pressing your tits closer to his clothed sex. “Baby, I need you to know. I can’t go further without your permission.”

Miguel feels like he could cum right now.

“I’m really nervous, but I want to experience this.”

You hum as you start to pull at his waistband. His eyes scrunch closed as his dick springs up. 

You’re met with a sight you had missed. The size is still as intimidating as the last time. 

You rub his thighs and give yourself a quiet pep talk. You were determined to make your boyfriend feel good. 

Miguel looks back down at you and swallows dryly, anxious at the look in your eyes and your silence, “If it’s too much, w-we can stop here-”

“No.”

The first lick of his tip has Miguel rising off of the pool edge, pre-cum escaping him.

He whines, embarrassed at his lack of control, but his dick is twitching from the sensation.

“Miguel,” your hands are back on his hips at a flimsy attempt to hold him down. “You need to be careful, baby.”

“Don’t call me baby right now.” Miguel’s voice is winded like he’s been running a marathon.

You look up at him. His mouth is twisted up and his eyebrows are furrowed. His stomach keeps shaking and his elbows don’t know if they want to bend or extend. When he looks down at you, he lets out a whimper, dick jerking against his will.

You hold your lips right above the head, the heat of it making you excited, “Baby.”

Miguel jerks again as you take his tip into your mouth, more of his pre-cum slipping out. His body is wound tight and he’s losing sense of it. Your mouth is so warm and he’s crying out from just you suckling along the head. He would be grateful with just this alone.

You push yourself lower, mouth adjusting to the widening girth. You don’t know if it’s the champagne combined with the other drinks you’ve had today, but the taste is making your mind fuzzy. 

You hum as you move your tongue along the underside of his length, his essence melting into your mouth. Miguel continues to twitch against your lips. 

You look up and he just groans when his eyes connect with yours. 

“P-pretty,” he stutters out, brain-to-mouth filter completely disintegrating. One of his arms covers his mouth as he fights to quiet down. There’s no telling what the stewardess could hear from above. 

You decided to go deeper, wanting to hear him some more. You make it halfway down before you grip his shaft and give it a few semi-dry pumps. 

Miguel just about shouts at the sensation, legs jerking enough to splash the water around you. 

Satisfied with the reaction, you release him with a pop and slide your tongue down to the base, trying to get him as wet as possible for what you’re about to attempt to do. You pucker your lips to leave wet kisses all over his shaft, sucking occasionally. 

All Miguel can do is whimper and shake. 

You hold him, sliding your hand up and down, applying pressure whenever you glide over the top, “You can hold on to me.”

Miguel shakes his head and releases his bottom lip from his teeth to speak, but his words are jumbled up in a heated mess. 

“Say it again, Miguel. I don’t understand,” you bring your mouth to the head again, this time, cupping his balls as you slide back down. 

Early spurts of cum land in your mouth as Miguel uselessly grips at the flat ground. He’s moaning out your name and if you weren’t sliding him down your throat, you would think he’s crying for you. 

“I-I don’t wanna hurt you,” Miguel takes heavy breaths in the middle of his sentence. 

Even like this he was oh so sweet. You don’t push it and continue on. 

As you reach the hilt, you force yourself to relax, thumb pressed against your fisted palm. He was heavy on your tongue and you needed to find the right pace. 

You slowly move your head up and down, lips wet with spit and slick. You build a steady tempo that has Miguel involuntarily moving his hips and moaning in a senseless manner. 

He was conflicted, core heated at the sound of your throat barely taking him, but wanting to pull you off so you don’t choke all because of him. Hot tears ran down his face as you didn’t let up. 

He chooses the latter, foggy mind coming to a decision. His shaky hands reach towards your face, your cheeks hallowed and eyes closed. His hands make it to your cheeks when you reach the hilt again and swallow around his head. 

Miguel scares himself with the moan he lets out. 

You panic as you swallow his load, mouth completely full. 

Miguel hurries to pull you off, “Shit! Baby, I’m so sorry!”

“It’s ok,” you cough as you try to catch your breath. Drips of him that you didn’t swallow falling to your chest. “I wish you would have told me you were about cum, though.”

“I didn’t know!” he’s red in the face. “God, I’m so sorry!”

“Was it good, though?” You look up at him with lips and sparkling eyes. You’re holding your tits up so that his cum wouldn’t get in the pool. 

Miguel’s dick twitches like it’s trying to wake back up again. You notice it and a grin plants itself right onto your face. 

“Do you really have to ask me that?”

“Yes, Miggy.”

“I think my embarrassing finish was enough but yes, you made me feel good. It was way more than good. Now come out of the pool before you get any more ideas.”

“It wasn’t embarrassing!” you reply as Miguel picks you up from the water and on his stomach while lays back. “‘Was kinda hot. You felt so good that you couldn’t wait.”

You slide your finger over your cleavage to pick up the leftover essence and plop right in your mouth. 

Miguel grips your thighs as he looks up at you, “No, stop that, you vixen.”

You’re going to be the death of him for sure. 

GymRat!Miguel whose legs are like jelly when you help him up from the ground. His thighs haven’t shaken this much since his first leg day almost five years ago. 

“Do you need to lie down on the beach chair for a minute?” you ask with genuine concern. 

“Yeah, I think I need a second,” Miguel says, trying his best not to put his entire weight onto you. 

GymRat!Miguel who watches you watch him from the pool. You’re at the edge, leaning over and smiling at him while you let your body float. 

“Next time, I want to get, like, really hoarse. We should work on your resistance and my tolerance. Oh! And maybe we can do that thing where I hold your-”

“Amor, please. Let’s talk about this when I’m not halfway dying,” Miguel groans, dick half hard. “How are you so good at this anyway?”

“Practice! With my ex and like one other fling. They weren’t nearly as responsive as you, though.”

Miguel squints at your figure. 

“Or fun. Or satisfying. Or tasty. Or big. Can I do it one more time, Miggy?”

Miguel stares at you for a minute or two then groans, “Come on.”

You leave the water and walk over to him with glee. 

GymRat!Miguel who grabs lightly onto your head this time, fingers twitching occasionally. His legs are parted and you’re laid out on the horizontal part of the beach chair. Miguel is constantly looking from your face to your ass, experiencing a sensation overload. You take it easy on him this time, saving some of your tricks and things you wanted to try for a later date. 

The room is filled once again with Miguel’s grunts and whimpers plus your mouth and throat molding unto him. 

GymRat!Miguel who warns you this time. You let go with a pop and let him paint your open mouth. He shudders as you look at him through it all, pumping him slowly until he can't take anymore. A lonely tear escaped him, eyes heavy and chest heaving. 

GymRat!Miguel who barely makes it back up the stairs. He gives the stewardess a polite smile but you can barely look at her for longer than a second. 

“It was really lovely,” you say leaning into Miguel’s side, voice a little gone. 

“Yeah, amazing,” Miguel snickers. You nudge him at the back of his leg causing him to stagger a bit. 

The stewardess just laughs and wishes you both a good night. 

GymRat!Miguel who sleeps like a log that night. His soul needed to rejuvenate. 

GymRat!Miguel who wakes up a new man. He feels like he can conquer the world. As of now, the world is a new set of water activities with their friends. 

He kisses you on the cheek in your sleeping state makes his way out to the deck, wanting to do some morning stretches and yoga if he could fit it in. 

He walked out to see Dana talking to Blake, an indifferent look on her face.

“I just can’t believe he would lie to me like that, you know? Like that’s fucked up. Here I was, ready to get something and he set me up.” 

“Yeah, no. That really sucks,” Dana replies with a big yawn.

“I mean, I thought we were bros. I thought-”

“Miguel! My knight in shining armor,” Dana practically screams when she spots Miguel.

Blake tenses up so that if he mimics a timid raccoon. 

“Morning,” Miguel walks up to them.

Blake breaks out into a sweat, “Hey man, I’m sorry about last night. I would have never done that stuff if I knew. I don’t know why Kron told me you guys were open.”

“I think you need some new friends and better social cues,” Miguel brushed Blake off and walked with Dana onto the boardwalk. 

“Thank god you got here. That was his fourth iteration of ‘bro code should be respected.’ I was going to start screaming if he kept talking.”

GymRat!Miguel who lets Dana guide him in a mini yoga class on the beach. It’s pretty nice with the waves crashing and the birds squawking occasionally.

GymRat!Miguel whose downward dog pose is almost disrupted by you whistling from a spot in the sand. 

You and Gabriel had snuck up on Miguel and Dana, cackling like hyenas.

“Baby, I think you can go deeper,” you shout over the waves, encouraging Miguel to stretch.

“Gross,” Gabriel shudders. 

GymRat!Miguel who wants to use you for a flying pose but you refuse. 

“I’m not walking back with sand up my back.”

“Can we try it later, though?” Miguel pouted. 

“On safe carpet, yes.”

GymRat!Miguel who settles for a forward fold with you. You stretch your body across his back as he reaches down to touch his toes. 

It’s nice until you both switch positions. 

“I think I’m dying,” you gasp out. You sound like an old man on his last breath. 

“No, you’re not. You just need more practice,” Miguel chides from above. 

“When will I ever need this pose in life?”

“Flexibility is good for you!” Miguel replies after a while. 

“Get your mind out of the gutter.”

“I didn’t do anything!”

GymRat!Miguel who tilts his head at your breakfast plate piled with pineapples. 

“You don’t want an omelet?”

“Maybe later.”

GymRat!Miguel who joined any group activity he could. 

From the inflatable water obstacle course,  

which Gabriel cheated on by the way,

To the boat tour, he got so many pictures for you for his rotating home screen,

To the banana boat rides that he almost lost his life on. It took you, Gabriel, and Dana to hold onto him. 

GymRat!Miguel who surprises you with a “rooftop” dinner on the horizon on the highest part of the yacht. You’re wearing that same green dress that made him go crazy in the dressing room. 

“This is so gorgeous, Miguel,” you sigh as you take in the small scene. 

From up here, you could see the breathtaking view of the ocean and the city. The sun was close to setting, people were out and about, and the group was partaking in last-minute activities like parasailing and water walking with bubble balls but you could only focus on the glow around Miguel. 

“Did you enjoy this weekend?”

You nod your head, shy with attention, “I really did. I had so much fun.”

“Even with boys that don’t understand the word ‘no’?”

“When I have my strong boyfriend there to defend me, what is there to be afraid of?” you smile at him. 

Miguel sits up straighter at that, chest puffing out.

You laugh at his state, “Seriously, though. This was one of the best summers ever. I’m really glad Mr. Stone arranged this and I’m even more glad that you brought me along.”

“Of course I did. You’re my girl. Mi amor, mi luz,” Miguel reached out to run your hand. “I’m not letting you go anytime soon.”

Like a flower unfurled, your heart took in his words. You leaned across the table until you could brush your lips with his, only the sun peeking through the two of you. 

You let go and lean back a little. “I’m not letting go of you either. I want you by my side,” you say, eyes panning back and forth between his.

“And that’s where I’ll stay.”

GymRat!Miguel who covers your eyes on the way back to the room.

You’re whining because you don’t have nearly as much planned for him as he always does for you. 

“Amor, you could just text me an emoji and I would be happy. You deserve good things. Don’t worry about me.”

GymRat!Miguel who wraps his arm around you as you open your eyes to the room. 

It’s lit with soft lights, decorated lightly with rose petals in the shape of a heart on the ground, and a banner full of pictures with the two of you. Pictures from outside of lab, pictures of you with oil paint on your face, pictures of him piled with notes in the study lab. 

Pictures of you both on your early dates, pictures of you looking at him in the car, pictures where he’s kissing your face off. 

You gasp at the scene, feet stuck in the entryway.

“Surprise,” Miguel says into your ear, kissing the top of it.

“I don’t think I have any tears left,” your voice is watery enough to dispute that lie.

GymRat!Miguel who kisses you deeply in the middle of the rose heart. You’re cradling his face with one hand and rubbing your thumb across his sideburn with another.

You’re so wrapped up in his arms and his presence that you miss his question.

“Can you do what?”

Miguel’s hands find their way to your ass, pulling you even closer, “Can I please eat you out?”

When you stare at him with your eyebrows raised, it only pushes him to continue.

“I’ve been thinking about it for a long time. I’ve dreamed about it, researched how to do it, studied it, daydreamed about it. I need to do it before I go crazy.”

He bent down to get on his knees, hands never letting go of your body.

“Please, baby. If you’ll allow me, I really want to make you feel good.”

At first, all you could think was that Dana was right and definitely a girl’s girl. Then, you looked down at Miguel whose head was pressed up against your torso, eyes pleading with you. 

You ran your hand through his hair, “You need to do it?”

“Uh huh,” he nodded, nuzzling into your body through your dress. 

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to fake my reactions for you.” You didn’t have the heart to lie to him like that, especially when he’s looking at you like that. 

“You won’t have to,” Miguel mumbles into your skin. “I’m confident, but if something is weird, stop me immediately.”

GymRat!Miguel who doesn’t give you time to think when you whisper out an “ok.” He’s picking you up by the legs and plopping you on the bed.

Like a switch, he’s kissing down your body, pulling at the stretchy green fabric to expose your skin. He’s crowding your space in the most desired way possible, a fire building within him.

“Miguel, the dress isn’t going to come off like that,” you say, internally laughing at Miguel tugging to no avail. 

He starts to pull so hard that you can hear threads ripping. Before you can stop him, there’s a makeshift slit up your thigh. 

You lean up on your elbows and give Miguel a look. He just stares sheepishly and lets you stand up to pull the dress off. 

“You gotta be more patient baby,” you purred, bending down to kiss his lips. 

When you lean back, you move backwards to sit on the bed. It’s just you, your black panties, and a hungry Miguel at your feet.

The further you inch up the bed, the more Miguel crawls to be closer to you. 

“Can I kiss you?” he breathes into your mouth, eyes never leaving yours.

“Please.”

Miguel melts into your skin, mouth molding to a familiar shape. His breaths are heavy and sporadic, too excited to finally know what you feel like on his tongue.

You reach to pull his shirt off, wanting to feel his chest against yours, wanting to feel the expanse of his back while he pressed up against you. Miguel follows your movements without letting up.

He sighed into your lips with pleasure as he let his hand flow down your body, grabbing a breast to massage. You hummed into his mouth, legs parting to bring him closer. Eager to please, Miguel slipped his shorts below his bulged, grinding against you.

You start to wrap your legs around his waist before Miguel interrupts you with a sturdy hand under your knee, and a promise to devour you to your neck.

GymRat!Miguel who groans when he slides your panties down your legs. The slope of your thick thighs to your ass has Miguel ready to burst. 

He gets on his knees to maneuver your legs up into your arms. You peek up at him over your knees, your wet cunt kissing the air. 

He licks his lips at the sight, taking a tentative touch at your wet lips. 

You jump at the sensation, the feeling of Miguel seeing you this vulnerable new. 

He bends down to kiss them, hands on the back of your thighs for extra support. Your core flutters as he takes a few more kisses to your sex, tongue reaching out to trace from the bottom to the top. At the first taste, Miguel is groaning into you, sending vibrations through your body. 

You sigh out in bliss as your grip loosens on your legs. Miguel flattens his body on the bed and spreads your legs wide, tongue continuing to savor the taste of you. 

At this angle, Miguel pushes his tongue in between your folds, feeling your warmth around him. He laps at your entrance slowly causing you to flutter around him and reach for his hair.

He slurps up the juices that try to escape him causing you to moan out his name. He just hums in response, breaching further inside. The more noises he makes, the wetter you get. The room is full of the sound of him lapping everything he gave you and your quiet moans.

“Miguel,” your breath hitched as he swiped over a particular spot. You look down at Miguel whose eyes are closed and hands are tight on your thighs. You feel a building heat seeing how much of a trance he’s in. 

Just when you feel a bud sprouting within you, he directs his attention towards your clit, searching until he finds it. At the first skim across it, your hips are bucking up off the bed. Miguel is quick to hold you down, placing his weight on your thighs and lapping continuously at the pearl. 

“Fuck!” you shout, hitting the mattress. You’re writhing beneath him, unable to control your body. “Don’t stop, Miguel, please.”

Miguel groans through it all, lapping up every drop. 

“Baby, I’m gonna-” a scream pushes through you as your body shakes with pleasure. Miguel takes it like a champ, slurping like you were his last meal.

As you twitch with aftershocks, Miguel barely gives you time to recover before he’s diving back into your entrance. You let out a sob, still sensitive and quivering as your legs move too close before Miguel growls and wraps his arms around your thighs to keep them open. 

He’s sinking into you, moving his tongue at a steady pace and sucking in between. Your moans were a pool of words from his name to begging to profanities crescendoing across the air.

Miguel would rarely part for air, adamant on bringing you to the hilt again. Your thighs were tensing up as Miguel kept going, fire building as you grabbed his hair and jerked your hips in time with his movements. 

Your climax comes in waves, your hands tighter in his hair and an arch in your back. When you clench over his tongue and your release hits his mouth, Miguel’s eyes start to roll and he’s rubbing his nose against your clit. You yell even louder as Miguel pushes his face incredibly deep into your pussy. He’s rutting into the bed at the sound of your voice, moaning with you. 

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

The captain swore that the VIP suite was soundproof, but your voice was practically carrying across the yacht. 

“She’s getting it good! Just like I promised,” Dana smiles to herself. 

“What did you promise? I was the one that gave Miguel tips.” Gabriel moved his headphones aside. 

“Oh yeah? And what tips did you give him?” She had her eyebrow raised and a silly smirk on her face. 

There was a pause of silence between them, only your voice filling up the space occasionally. Gabriel stared at Dana with a goofy grin.

He reached over and connected his phone to his speaker, putting on his special playlist. “Want to find out?”

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

GymRat!Miguel who has to be pulled off your sex with both of your hands. His eyes are glazed over and his chin is soaked. Every chance you came after the first two times, your body would move up the bed and Miguel was sure to follow. 

“Ok, ok, baby,” you heave. Your legs are spasming, a result of the position and Miguel’s willingness to have you cum over and over again.

You were tapping out, body sore and tired. 

Miguel left a final long kiss to your clit, a trail of essence following his lips. He kissed up one of your thighs with a hungry look still in his eyes.

“¿Lo hice bien, cariño?” (Did I do it well, baby/darling?)

You trembled at his touch, limbs still heavy and mind in the clouds. 

Still, this was the best you’ve felt in a while.

You open your mouth to whisper, “Lo hiciste muy bien.” (You did so good.)

GymRat!Miguel who has to calm down internally at your answer. You don’t talk to him in Spanish often, but when you do, he’s over the moon. 

GymRat!Miguel who carries you to the bathroom to clean you off.

“Baby, I can’t walk. You’ll have to carry me for the rest of your life.”

“I’m totally fine with that.”

GymRat!Miguel who shocks you when he says that you don’t need to worry about bringing him relief. 

“Amor, I came when you came. After that, it was really all about you.”

“Oh!”

GymRat!Miguel who pats his past self on the back for asking the crew for extra sheets. He had no clue how the evening would go, but something in him told him to be overprepared. 

Those old sheets were beyond ruined. 

GymRat!Miguel who rubs your legs and stomach with aloe vera lotion after the shower. Not only did he stretch you a little further than you’re used to, but his bite marks left a big impression. 

GymRat!Miguel who cuddles you to sleep. If you wore him out the other night, he definitely put you through the ringer. You were gone after three rubs to your back. 

GymRat!Miguel who wakes up early with you to send off all of your friends. You’re yawning constantly, tears sticking to the corners of your eyes.

“Someone had a time last night,” Hobie snickers as he walks past with his backpack. 

“Shut up, Hobie,” you say, already flustered. 

“What? It’s true! If I didn’t know Migs' name before, I sure do now.”

“I’m going to backflip off of this boat.”

GymRat!Miguel who grants Captain Barrett a goodbye, thanking him for letting them use his boat.

“It was a pleasure to host you, Miguel. If you and your girlfriend ever need to, my superyacht is available for any future formal events!” he elbows Miguel with a giant grin, curled mustache moving like it was paid to do so. 

“I’ll keep that in mind, Cap.”

For Miguel, the man with the plan, he would grant Mission A: Eat You Out, a huge success and the start of the summer one to remember.

divider by: @iwonbin 🩵

Part 9.1 here!

a/n: And with that, the yacht chapter is finished! I hope you guys enjoyed it and got your life. 🤭 It was both challenging and rewarding to write this GIANT chapter. I hope that you guys have fun with it like I did! I have no idea how the next chapter OR Miguel's Mission B: Virgin No More plan will go, but!!! Hopefully, it will be pleasant regardless! 🤠

ALSO! I have decided to give this drabble that's basically a fic a proper name (mostly for AO3). Do you all have any suggestions?

As always, like, comment, and reblog. Let me know how you feel! 🩵

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[callooopie]

Modern!Jacaerys Velaryon headcannons (pt. 1)

Yeah my boyfriend’s pretty cool, but he’s not as cool as me — Brooklyn Baby // Lana Del Rey

I look away from my TV for one second only to look back and see Jacaerys mewing at me while a deadly and violent war is being discussed

You meet at a college party. Definitely. He looks like a party girl. Jace Targaryen(?) (Targaryen? or perhaps Strong in this modern world? Certainly not Velaryon, as I would assume Rhaenyra would have a choice of who she married in this world) gives off either reliable fratboy energy, or kind and quiet student you sit by in your class (He shows you his notes if you missed something. He gives you his number too—just in case you had questions!) Is the type to silently sneak glances at you during lectures. Maybe you even catch him staring once?

Meeting his family is.. overwhelming. On one hand it’s big. Like really big, a little confusing sometimes. On the other hand? Why’s everyone so hot? What are these genes?! His mom, his dad, his half-family members, his friends?!?! You’re sitting there at the family function like ?!?!

Speaking of family—he’s a big family guy. He loves his mom and his dad, he adores his brothers, he tolerates his half-uncles and whatnot. Jacaerys shows you to his mother in her office, and to his father doing work around the house. I believe he would be the type to wrangle and line up his brothers for you and go down the line introducing them. “This here’s Luke, aaand little Joffrey. They shouldn’t give you any trouble—Joffrey’s a little brat though..”

(Joffrey runs up to you and tells you to say skibidi gyat rizz before running off in a fit of giggles—) “…yeah—sorry ‘bout that. He’s in a phase right now..”

When you first meet his mom and dad as only “Jace’s friend” (Rhaenyra and Harwin.. </3) they are ecstatic to meet you. They think you’re lovely! Hip!—is that what the kids are saying these days? Rhaenyra has a knowing look on her face as Jacaerys reminds her that you’re only a “friend” and Harwin goes along like “Oh yeahhh… Jace’s friend.. riiiight” (the label of friend was gone in a week at most. Instead of “Jace’s friend” you were now “Jace’s girlfriend/boyfriend”) his parents saw it coming a mile or two away they weren’t surprised. And they hope you come around more often for dinners and things.

Jace is in a band (with Davos OOP) and Cregan (this dude.. graduated like a year or two before them and they all still hang out?), along with a few others. What? Oh yeah—they do little gigs and stuff. He plays bass, kinda the glue of the team if you catch his drift.. it’s tough work but anything to pursue musical passion right? (“Band practice” consists of smoking weed and watching shitty YouTube videos in a garage. They can and do play though so.. you guess it works?)

If you tag along with that merry bunch.. please know you’re babysitting now (mainly Jace and Davos. Cregan disappears but reappears when needed most—“kinda his thing”) think of the most stupidest thing two college-age guys could do… and go stupider. Breaking into abandoned buildings, arson, meeting the most suspicious plugs in the pitch black woods or sewers. Not how you’d imagine your Friday night to be spent but here you are. “This guy said he had something CRAZY.. and only for $20–that’s a deal in today’s economy.”

That’s his silly side. Normal every Jacaerys is serious. It’s almost a little off-putting. He’s very reserved as well, although with you there’s some cracks in that stoic facade. He’s the type to have a smile tug on his lips if you take a “sneaky” video or photo of him. Maybe while you both are in a study room and you just need something for a Snapstreak or insta story. Who else should be caught on camera than Jace as he’s deep into a textbook, twirling a pen between his fingers while swiveling side to side in a chair. “Hm? ..what’re you looking at girly? ..me? Pfft—shut up..”

I believe Jace would be the type to have a wide range of music he listens to. Only him. From alternative indie to folk to heavy metal to edm. He’s got range, he’s got tastes. He totally has a vinyl collection (yes it’s by a window and yes there’s plants near it)

Outrageous closet. Not in a bad way, in a really really good way. Probably the best dressed man you’ve ever seen. Things that shouldn’t work together for an outfit, work on him and only him (It’s like the Rhianna effect—an outfit looks ugly on someone else, but on Rhianna? It looks amazing. Iconic) the other way to describe his fashion sense is he dresses like a character from JoJo’s bizarre adventure. If there was an enemy stand user—it’d be Jacaerys.

His bedroom makes you believe in men again. It’s so nice, so cozy and smells so good. Blankets are always cooled, there’s just a sense of security around. HOWEVER. His pillows fucking suck. He’s the type to not replace anything like that unless absolutely necessary. They’re flat, dead, and make your hair slightly oily. He has a mountain of pillows but what good is that if they’re all lacking in support?! “I can open a window if y’want—it gets pretty hot in here sometimes. Hm? What’s up? My pillows? …it’s fine- they’re fine, look at them. You know how expensive-“

Everything bad about Davos’s car? Forget about it! Jace puts pride into his car. He cleans it regularly (Saturdays are for car deep cleaning, no exceptions) His parents did buy it for him for his 16th birthday. However he’s kept it in a very good condition so. Some stickers will be on the back, but it’s usually like “her body her choice” or “go for green energy” ..based Jace. (If perhaps Rhaenyra is a political figure in this modern world.. you bet your ass Jace is gonna have a campaign sticker for his mom on his car) “Just right over here is my car—lemme get your door. It’s okay if you get it dirty, I’ll just clean it… —although be careful—“

Speaking of cleaning his car—he will ask you to help him sometimes. Mainly in the summer, when you’re more likely to be wearing an outfit consisting of the smallest and tightest jean shorts and either a tank top or a bikini top. It’s a little hard to wash a car when he’s gripping the sponge tightly and letting his eyes rake down your body—what? No he wasn’t staring. He was looking at something past you. What’s that in his pants? See now you’re just being mean about it—

While Jacaerys partakes in a cigarette now and then, he’s more partial to alcohol. I feel he wouldn’t like the idea of smoking (It’s just things with lungs y’know? ..plus I don’t wanna die before that fucker Davos—“). Jace is a fiend with how he hoards bottles or drinks. Beers, hard alcohols, etc. Dude knows how to throw a whole bottle back like it’s nothing. He keeps a collection of empty bottles for fun (in his closet so his parents don’t find it) or if he lives alone they’re just freely out and around (or maybe still in the closet). “Whaaat? Slow down? Pfft—please, I’m good. Nah this is like water to me now. Have you ever had this?”

[cherryflavoured7777]

Do you miss me, dear? [h.c]

Summary: Stuck at a graduation party, surrounded by memories of your past relationship and your own loneliness, your night takes an unexpected turn when you find yourself dialing the number of the one person you vowed you wouldn't contact.

Pairing: College!Hazel x College!Fem!Reader 

Contains: smut 18+ only, explicit language, drinking, smoking, mutual pining, slightly toxic reader I think, fingering (r! receiving), oral(r! receiving), break-up/make-up sex, idiots in love, this one gets straight-up MUSHY I’m not gonna lie

Word count: 4.1k

a/n: I just need to say I am deeply obsessed with all of you who interacted with either of my last two fics. reading your comments/ replies seriously makes me SO happy you have no idea. Got me giggling and shit fr! I don’t know why my writing always ends up including partying and drinking but maybe it’s because I just graduated college and am having an existential post-grad crisis. Anyway 💀I hope you enjoy and thank you again for reading!!!

Also, this is inspired by this song by one of my favourite bands:  

“I don’t know what I’m still doing here.” You say out loud to yourself, standing up from the musty green couch you were sitting on. An empty beer bottle falls from the cushion onto the ground, shattering into pieces beside your foot. 

This party sucked. Pushing your way through the crowded, stuffy kitchen, you couldn't shake off the feeling of suffocation. Tipsy couples entangled in each other's arms seemed to be everywhere, a painful reminder of what you once had and lost. The memories of being that annoying person in love at a party flooded back, amplifying the ache of your loneliness.

The thumping music in your ears only made your head pound harder. Desperate for a breath of fresh air, you stumbled toward the door, ignoring the intoxicated laughter and clinking glasses that filled the air. As you stepped outside, the cool night breeze hit your face, offering a momentary rescue from the overwhelming atmosphere inside.

The darkness of the night sky above seemed to swallow you whole, but it felt strangely comforting. Leaning against the porch railing, you closed your eyes, trying to regain your composure. In the silence outside, you could hear distant laughter and the faint sound of music, muffled by the walls of the house.

You settled into a seat around a glass table, next to a guy you recognized from one of your classes. You exchanged a quick nod of acknowledgment before reaching into your purse, retrieving a box of cigarettes. Smoking was not a regular habit for you, but you reserved it for moments like these—after a few drinks and a growing sense of irritation. 

You lit the end of the cigarette, watching it crackle, and took a long drag. As you exhaled the smoke, you tilted your head back, noticing the full moon glowing brightly above.

"Full moon tonight," the boy beside you remarked, his voice carrying a note of intrigue. "They say some crazy shit can happen on full moons."

You chuckled bitterly. "Yeah, well, that could explain why I'm stuck at this party right now."

He leaned back, studying you intently. 

“I wish I could be an astronaut and get the fuck out of here.” You mused, gaze fixed on the bright glow of the moon. "I only came to this party because she said she would be here." Another drag of the cigarette punctuated your words.

"Who's she?" he asked, genuinely curious.

"My ex," you replied, trying to seem nonchalant. His gaze was fixed on you, "Hazel."

-

Until today, you hadn't spoken to Hazel in over three months, choosing to cut off all contact in an attempt to speed up the process of moving on. You're both surprised that you managed to endure the silence for so long, and disappointed that she hasn't made any effort to reach out, not even once. 

That was until about six hours ago when you were sitting at a coffee shop on campus with your roommate, Brittany, studying for your upcoming statistics exam. 

"Don't look now, but Hazel just walked in," she whispers, her tone hushed, and her eyes widening. "And she's with another girl."

Your heart plummeted into your stomach. You were seated with your back to the door, and you watched as they both approached the corner, heading in your direction.

"Brittany!" the blonde girl accompanying Hazel exclaims, leaving the three of you momentarily stunned.

Hazel follows a few steps behind, clearly taken aback by the encounter. She looked annoyingly hot, her disheveled brown hair, baggy white t-shirt and black jeans, adorned with her signature silver chains and rings. It takes all your strength not to stare. 

"Hey, Amanda," Brittany replied, forcing a polite smile. "Hazel."

Hazel offers a nod in greeting to Brittany and then to you. You feel like a middle-schooler again, awkward and unsure of how to act around your crush.

"Did you manage to finish that paper for Professor Sharpe's class?" the girl asked. 

As Brittany carries on the conversation with Amanda, you can feel Hazel's gaze on you, catching her eyes occasionally. 

You never anticipated the aftermath of your breakup with Hazel to be this awkward. All those nights spent tangled up together, where you both believed you could read each other's minds, now reduced to this.

"So, Hazel, are you going to Emma’s graduation party tonight? All of us are going," Brittany chimed in, attempting to steer the conversation away from the obvious tension.

Hazel smiled sheepishly, replying, "Yeah, I’m going."

"Cool," Brittany replied, her smile masking the underlying awkwardness in the air.

A beat of uncomfortable silence hung between you all.

"Will you be there?" Hazel asked breaking the silence, turning toward you, her voice almost hesitant.

"Yeah, I'll be there," you said, mustering a small smile. "Wouldn’t want to miss it."

Hazel smiled, "Cool," she said, her voice soft, "I'll see you there then."

Just as the atmosphere began to ease, Amanda abruptly intervened, her grip firm on Hazel's hand. "Hazel, let’s go, I forgot something in my car," Amanda said, her tone strangely possessive, and she dragged Hazel away before you could utter another word.

-

This breadcrumb of information has led you here. You spent the first fifteen minutes at the party searching for her like a lost puppy. When you couldn't find her, you contemplated leaving but opted to drown your thoughts with tequila shots instead. Now, you're clinging to any scrap of attention you can find, desperately trying to purge her from your mind.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the male voice beside you. "D’you have a light?" he asked, his cigarette aimed in your direction. You stare at him for a moment, deadpan, still frozen in your thoughts from the events that unfolded earlier today. 

"Fuck it," you muttered under your breath, reaching for your phone. You’re calling her.

-

“You’re soaked,” Hazel says as you climb into the front seat of her car, her tone a mix of concern and annoyance. “Seriously, you’re getting mud all over the floor of my car.” While you were waiting for Hazel to pick you up from the party, It started raining, you thought enduring it outside would be better than being stuffed in that small house full of people you didn't even really know. 

“You lied.” You retort back. 

“What?”

“You said you were coming to the party.” 

“Yeah well, my plans changed. Put your seatbelt on.” As she shifted the car into reverse, she placed her hand on your seat to steady herself. With a quick glance over your shoulder, she backed out of the driveway in one brisk movement.

You attempted to keep your composure, trying not to make it entirely obvious that you were basically drooling over how hot she looked doing that.  

“I can tell that there’s someone else,” You say after a few moments of silence, trying to disguise your jealousy with innocent curiosity. “Come on, tell me,” You finally click your seatbelt into place. “I can take it well.” 

"Oh, I know you can," she replied, shooting you a smug look, trying to divert this conversation from getting too deep right now.

“Hazel.” You groan at her dumb attempt at an innuendo, throwing your head backward and hitting the headrest. “Just be honest. Is it the girl from the coffee shop earlier? Or what about the girl Isabel saw you with last week at the library? Or both? Who am I kidding, there’s probably even more than that.”

“Do you have like, personal spies assigned to watch over me?”

You don’t respond right away, deciding to avoid her questions like she’s avoiding yours. You crank the window open and throw your head out. The spring wind cool on your face. 

“God, you’re so annoying sometimes.”

She’s quiet for a moment. 

Look, I know I wasn't where I said I'd be, but I was busy, doing stuff," she replied defensively.

"Yeah," you scoffed, your words tinged with a hint of anger. "I'm sure you were."

You sit the next few minutes in silence, wondering if this whole thing was a bad idea. You couldn't pinpoint why you had called her in the first place. The intensity of seeing her earlier mixed with the disappointment of the lackluster party had left you missing her, even though you weren't entirely sure why.

"So, where am I taking you?" Hazel asked, her gaze shifting from the road to you. Strands of her brown hair were tousled by the wind.

Your buzz had faded, and with it, your initial courage waned. Swallowing hard, you hesitated before speaking. "Can I sleep at yours? Not— not like that," you hurriedly clarified, feeling a sudden need to explain. "It's just that Brittany has her new boyfriend over, and I could go back there, but I don’t really want to."

“Yeah, yeah. Of course.” 

After a moment, Hazel hesitantly rested her hand on your thigh, both of you aware of the significance of the touch, even if neither acknowledged it. Her fingers gave a gentle squeeze, the subtle pressure made your tummy flip. Beneath the surface, an unspoken understanding lingered, hinting that this night might entail more than just a ride home.

-

Hazel's apartment is full of brown moving boxes, an aching reminder of why you broke up in the first place. 

“Wow, this place is pretty much all packed up.” You say, slowly walking through the place, eventually landing at the doorway into her bedroom. 

She nods in response, her face reflecting a mixture of anticipation and sadness, settling down at the end of her bed.

"So, when do you leave?" The question weighed heavily on your heart as you voiced it. You wished you didn't have to ask these questions, yearning for a time when you were part of her plans, not just a spectator.

“Two weeks. My Aunt is gonna meet me at JFK and help me move into my new place.”

You sighed, feeling brave, "I wish I had the date circled on my calendar, helping you move, or going with you." You say the last part quiet, mostly to yourself.

The conversation lingered in the air, a bittersweet reminder of what could have been.

You walked over to her dresser, where a mirror was propped up, decorated with photos of you two from a photobooth, still clinging to the glass. Your heart swelled with mixed emotions.

Hazel says your name, breaking you from your trance. 

“Come here,” she says. 

You walk over slowly, standing between her legs. Your hands rest on her shoulders and you take a deep breath.

With both of your gazes locked, her hands came up behind your thighs, gently grabbing them and pulling them on either side of her one by one so you’re straddling her. Her hand comes up to brush a piece of hair from your face. 

“You’re so beautiful, baby” Her voice is barely a whisper as she stares up at you, her eyes practically shimmering with your reflection, Her hands settle on your waist, the warmth of her touch sending a pang of guilt through you. This breakup was unlike any you'd experienced before, and the raw emotions lingered, making you hesitate for a moment.

Your hands move up to cradle her face, your thumb dragging on her bottom lip. Still maintaining intense eye contact, you slowly slip your finger into her mouth, watching her with a mix of awe and longing.

The silence as you stare at each other is anything but awkward. It was charged with the weight of shared mourning, each of you navigating the complexity of a relationship's end.

You removed your finger, and in response, she grabbed your head gently, guiding it down towards her face, her eyes locked onto yours. Your lips barely grazed each other, and you wouldn’t be surprised if she could hear your rapid heartbeat. Hazel kissed you slowly at first, the touch of her lips sending a rush through your entire body. It quickly escalated, and there was a certain neediness to the way you both kissed, scared it could be the last time.

"Missed you," She whispered against your lips. Your mouths slid together, tongues pressing and exploring. The intensity of the kiss speaks volumes, like you were making up for lost time. Her lips found their way to your neck, leaving a trail of hot, lingering kisses, setting your body on fire. 

“Fuck, Hazel.” It was almost embarrassing how quickly you melted beneath her touch. “We shouldn’t be doing this,” You say, your voice strained, a soft moan escaping your lips. You very much wanted to be doing this, you just thought you should at least try to seem like you had stronger breakup morals than you did. Her hands found the curve of your ass, and you instinctively started to rock your hips slowly back and forth, seeking some much-needed friction. 

"Do you want me to stop? Say the word, and I'll stop, pretty girl," she murmured against your neck, her open-mouthed kisses and gentle suction on your pulse point sending shivers down your spine. You didn't reply with words, but your fingers found her hair, silently urging her to continue. "I need an answer, babygirl," 

"Don't stop," you breathed, your voice catching in your throat. "Please, don't stop." Your hips still lazily moving on her. Her mouth was back on yours, deepening the kiss as she guided you both down, her hands roaming over the back of your legs and your ass. She tugged at the hem of your shirt, helping you out of it and leaving you in your black lace bra.  

"So fucking perfect. Missed you so fucking much," she confessed, 

"I missed you too, Haze, every day," you whined, 

"You ever think about me? she asked, breathless. "About this?" she continued 

You nodded, your breath hitching as you confessed, "All the time. Couldn't stop thinking about you, your hands, your mouth."

Her eyes darken as you sit up and effortlessly unhook your bra, leaning back down, your lips finding their way to her collarbone, marking a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses along her skin. Your hands slowly creep their way up under her shirt, seeking permission. She nods, a silent affirmation, and you gently peel her shirt off over her head. Your stomach flips as you feel her arms effortlessly turn both of you over, trading places, landing on your back as she hovers over you. Her silver chain dangling above your face. It felt like your first time all over again, you felt a sense of shyness creeping over you under her gaze. Anticipation and excitement blooming in your chest.

“Fuck, look at you.” She says. The way she’s studying you makes you feel like the most beautiful thing to ever exist, as if every curve of your body is a masterpiece deserving of praise. Unable to contain your impatience, you pull her head down to meet your lips, your hips instinctively bucking up, frustration showing in the heated moment. Her fingers start to trail downwards under your skirt, meeting your clothed cunt. “You want me to fuck you? Hm?” She whispers in your ear, “Is that what you want baby?” She taunts, her fingers slowly grazing over your underwear. 

You nod vigorously, your enthusiasm evident. She responds by sucking on your neck again, sending shivers down your spine, your face flushed with heat. Your hands instinctively tug at her hair.

“Yes, Haze, please, fuck.” You arch your neck, pressing it firmly into the softness of the pillow beneath, a small gasp escaping your lips as you surrender to the moment. “Want your fingers inside of me.”

She makes a noise of desperation, her warm breath fanning over your face. “Gonna make you feel so good baby” She moves your underwear to the side, running her fingers through your slick folds. You gasp and she groans. “Wanna make it up to you.”

She tugs at the waistband of your skirt. You lift your hips as she guides it down along with your underwear. Hazel curses under her breath, “You’re so wet, it’s so fucking hot.” She plants kisses all over your chest, each one feeling like it could set you on fire. 

She slowly fucks you with her middle finger, the touch leaving you reeling. She adds her ring finger, her free hand snaking under your neck. Her fingers gently grab the side of your face while she fucks you, slightly tugging and grazing them against your parted lips. It's an intimate gesture, conveying both tenderness and desire.

Your hips buck up to meet her fingers. “Holy fuck” you groan as she pumps them faster into you. “Like that,” your voice is completely shot. Your entire body fizzed from the contact. You gently bite down on her fingers near your mouth while she places kisses all over your cheeks and your lips. Your head spun with thoughts of her - her mouth, her hair, her scent, Hazel was everywhere, all-encompassing. 

“Fuck, you’re so good” She half slurs, her voice wrecked, pupils blown and her lips parted. “So good for me.” She whispers, keeping her pace, dragging her digits through the wetness at your core.

Her mouth makes its way down your body, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses until she’s on her stomach between your thighs. Pumping faster, her lips suck at your clit. Her other hand presses down on your abdomen, holding you in place. You cup your aching tits, feeling them move with every motion she makes.

“Hazel,” you whine, “Haze, I-” Her fingers pick up the pace, curling inside of you. You tread your fingers through her hair, tugging slightly, the coil in your tummy growing tighter and tighter. 

“I know, honey, I know,” She says in response to your moans. “You sound so pretty baby, missed those sounds so much.” She keeps babbling, telling you how good you are and how pretty you look for her. 

“Fuck, don’t stop” you moan as she continues fucking you with her mouth and fingers, her pace alternating between teasing and fast, pushing you toward the edge. The contrast in her movements intensifies the pleasure, almost giving you want you want but flaking at the last moment, it’s torture.

“Shit, you’re almost there sweetheart” Hazel swears under her breath, voice laced with her own arousal. Her words drive you closer to the edge. You swear you can see stars as the overwhelming feeling shocks through your body. Your heart rate picks up immensley, pounding in your chest.

“Gonna come for me baby, yeah?” “Want you to come all over these fingers.” 

And you did. Your body clenches around her fingers, trembling, moans and curses spilling from your lips. Your eyes form with tears from the overstimulation. Her face landed in the crook of your neck, planting sloppy kisses and whispering reassurances as she guides you through the climax.

“Good girl, that’s it, honey. That’s it,” she murmurs.

Her fingers still slowly pumping in and out of you, riding out your high.

“Holy shit," you say once you've caught your breath. "Haze, c'mere." She lifts her head back up and you yank her face down to yours, tasting yourself on her lips as she lets out a soft moan. When you eventually pull away, both breathless, you lock eyes before bursting into disbelieving laughter.

“I can’t believe that just happened.” You whisper.

"I can," she says smugly. You playfully shove her before she collapses beside you. Both of you lie face to face, studying each other's features, committing them to memory, afraid you might forget what they look like. Her hand rests on your waist, mindlessly grazing up and down.

"What's the real reason you didn't come to the party? You ask. Were you with someone else?" Hazel shakes her head.

She pauses before speaking, "I thought if there was any chance of you being there, that I was gonna walk in and maybe see you with someone else. There was no way I could've handled that. I've been distracting myself with other girls, yeah, but..." Her voice trails off. "You have no idea how in love with you I still am." Her voice cracking with emotion. You can see a tear forming in Hazel’s eye, glimmering in the low light of the room.

“Hazel..” Your own voice slightly breaking. You reach out and drag your thumb delicately against her cheek, wiping the stray tear away. Your heart is breaking with a mixture of guilt and longing for the girl lying beside you.

“I still play pretend, in my head.” She whispers.

You smile, your hand resting on her neck, giving it a gentle squeeze, a signal of encouragement for her to keep going. 

“I picture us, living together in our apartment in the city.” 

Hazel was moving to New York City to work for her aunt after graduation. The reason you broke up, neither of you wanting to do long distance.

“Waking up next to you everyday, cooking you breakfast, fucking you on the countertop for hours” You both laugh at that. “Ever since I met you, I’ve always pictured you just being there. And these past few months…” 

“Absolute hell.” You finish for her. 

“Absolute hell.” She agrees. 

You take her hand and squeeze it, a silent form of reassurance. 

She shifts slightly and hovers over you again, brushing your damp hair off your forehead with her hand, and scans your face. “I don’t want this to end” she whispers. 

You wish you could capture this moment, tuck it away, and replay it whenever you wanted. You’ve been waiting for her to say these exact words for the past three months, you just never thought it would happen. The reason for your break-up still heavily taunts the back of your mind. 

“I love you” you reply, your voice barely a whisper. Taking her face in your hand and capturing her in another kiss. She kisses you sweetly and desperately.

You pull away, gently coaxing her back towards you, and cuddle her into your chest, assuming the role of the big spoon.

She nestles into your arms, finding comfort in the warmth of your body. With a soft sigh, she murmurs, "I wish we had more time.”

You tighten your hold around her, "We'll figure something out, I promise," you whisper, though you aren’t even sure of the reality of your own words. You choose to let go of the uncertainties, preferring to revel in the present moment. She looks back at you, and you kiss her forehead, a silent promise to cherish what you have, even if time feels fleeting.

“God damn full moon.” You mutter to yourself, remembering your earlier conversation at the party.

“What?” She asks.

“Nothing.” You say. “Don’t worry about it.” You kiss her shoulder, settling into the softness of the moment.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

tagging @astroph1les @vster0769

[betterdiscussions]

after all this year wasn't thaaat bad fr. Did a lot of new things i felt like a real teenager And also realized that my personality it's the problem I Am the Problem but anyways this year was a lot better than 2021/20 for this reasons

MILA 🐾

my little angel i LOVER HER it's the loml d vd la amo tanto es lo mjr q tengo en mi vida no puedo creer lo tanto q la amo

mis amigos👯

when i entered the school after covid i only knew ONE person in my classroom so i was so scared abt not having friends and that was the principal reason i didnt wanna go But for a mistake of mine i ended up going and i auto-forced myself to do friends or at least talking to someone and yeah the first day i made a new friend, then my friend finally decided to go to school so i wasn't alone at all anymore so i felt more comfortable AND I MADE A TOTAL OF 13 FRIENDS approx and yeah i'm so happy w that i'm actually very proud of myself abt that

i graduated 🎓

that day was amazing actually WAS LIKE A MOVIE cuz the photographer took a picture of my friends and i AND THE SCHOOL POSTED ON ALL THEIR SOCIAL MEDIA WAS AMAZING LOL

started college🏫

i was fucking scare cuz i didn't know que estudiar así q m metí a lo mismo q camila then the school hizo unos cursos y me tocó w some guys that i didn't like so i decided to be social AND ACTUALLY WAS ONE OF THE BEST DECISIONS IVE EVER MADE that group was the best istg all of them were super friendly and omg i love them fr i miss them sm. Then i was accepted and quedé w 2friends en el salon pero hice otro amigo nd mas so was pretty cool Terminé el primer semestre today cuz i'm not doing las nivelaciones d calculo q m faltan so yeah and also metí solicitud para cambiarme a administración 🤣

moreFriends 👯‍♀️

hice más amigos Gracias a los amigos q hice en el tec haha mmm TMB salí Sola x primera vez cn amigos Salí cmo 4-5veces la vd si m puso muy feliz fue algo nuevo para mi fue amazing hahaha

MentalHealth 🧠⚕️

that was pretty fucked up pero gracias a mis amigos mejoró un poco aunq si sé q en vacaciones voy a Morir voy a caer en lo + bajo así q Muchas gracias x ayudarme a no morir este año uds son los culpables d q siga cn vida Sí, si es 1razón para odiarse a uds mismos

[aqqleshiqqing-archive]

i just graduated!! i got an award for my strand!! (so like course? JSND AWARD!!) i’m so tired rn but the entire time i was like “oh my god, i’m going to my dream college” to “kiss kiss tord”. AND AUGUST!! IS SO SMART!! i will use that for the second one! i like to imagine the first fankid would be very responsible (tm), and takes more from tords oooo red leader ooo fancy leader side!! ALSOSORRYFORGUSHIBGOWJSSN. IMVERYSENTIMENTALTODAYANS. its so funny to imagine him as the “infamous, dignified red leader” and then man’s who will purposefully annoy me because i didn’t kiss him or cuddle him enough.

can’t talk too much cause going to fam! but i hope you’re having a great day!! what did you and tom do today? or maybe you could talk abt ruv? mayhaps??

- 💤

HEYYYYYYY CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! pls thats such a mood fr like omfg I'm gonna be the best technician ever and then it goes to hmmh... my f/o in a suit is very *lipbite* HAHDHAHEHAHEHAHHEHAHSG the shift in mood in us selfshippers 🤧

AND YES OMG YAYAYAYAY AUGUST!!! TELL ME ABT UR FANKIDS SOMEDAY!!! 💞💓💞💓💞💓 I'VE STILL HAVE YET TO HEAR THE FIRST ONE 🙈 and RIGHT!!! I see tord who aggressively years like in a cute way so he's gonna be so angy like ples just just tell me I look cute pls *cries* HSHDHAHDHHAHSA what a man indeed, your man 🙈

im so sorry as much as i wanna talk abt ru.v i jsut. t o m BSJSHSBBSBSBSBSB I LOVE HE

okay today I was baking puto! it's a dish from my country but I guess in english you'd call it steamed rice cake? ANYWAYS I'm trying to master the dish, and that means I get the liberty to color the puto and i like making them a variety of colors but I always wanna add blue and green.... cuz y'know..... tomje- YEAH. HSHDHAHEHAHEA i think baking w tom sounds super fun 🥺 he doesn't know what he's doing tbh but he's trying to participate because he doesn't wanna watch her do all the hard work and he'd be just there at the back so he's actively helping out!! they play with each other pasting batter on each other's cheeks y'know that cute stuff, switching out with mixing the batter because it can get exhausting, that cute stuff 🥺 just helping each other around WAAAH 😭

he holds up a green small puto and he's like "this is lil jesse" "she's very cute" WEWHRHEHFHSJRBJSHFJSS STOP STOP YOU'RE ADORABLE CRYING I think about this all day im telling u HRHAHRHAHRA THAYS ALL WEEEWEWEW

I HOPE URE HAVING A GREAT DAY WITH UR FAM!!! stay safe!!! 💞💓💞💓💞 once again congratulations with graduating, ur fos are SO PROUD OF U!!!!!

[bloom-bloom-pow]

class of 2021 (sunghoon ver.)

after your crush had graduated from high school, you decided it would be best to send him a letter before he goes off to college..

park sunghoon,

you're probably thinking "why is this so formal??? who drugged you??? are you okay???" well.. that's because i'm about to drop a big l-word bomb on you. and no, you told me not to do drugs multiple times so i knowwwww. and yes, i'm okay but my heart.. might not be. depends if i unblock your contact. (for good reason though, not like the time i did it fr fr) but you just graduated a few hours ago and i was the last person you hugged the last person who wiped your happy and sad tears away. that's the job of a best friend, i guess.

and that's all i'll ever be. well unless you like me back. yeah, that's right. there's the l-bomb. i like you. i really really really like you and now there's nothing i can do about it because you're going halfway across the country and today's the very last day i'm still on the same level as you. but now we're at different stages of life, and i don't think we'll be at the same level or stage for... quite a while. so here's me saying goodbye to the many memories we've made throughout high school.

i've loved spending every second with you. whether you liked it or not, i liked coming to all your hockey games and embarrassing you. i liked going to prom with you (platonically...) and i liked the people who thought we were dating though i yelled at them. and obviously i like you too, so that's that. i can't imagine my life without you but it seems that sometimes a best friend can't turn into a boyfriend. i know we're both not ready for this type of commitment, and i know for a fact that you don't like me back.

congrats, sunghoon, for being my first love. i hope you know how special you are to me...

goodbye,

yn ln

p.s. completely based on a true story

p.p.s check out jay's version here !!

p.p.p.s check out jake's version here !!

[imkindanerdforlanguages]

aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was actually right about everything about my crush and her maybe girlfriend! Full story below and some will be repeat if anyone’s actually been keeping up with this. Skip to the third to last paragraph if you only wanna hear what happened today and not all the back story. I wrote this mainly so I could look at it later and remember and it turned out wayyyy longer than expected

Ok so I’ve like this girl a long time and we’ve been friends never questioned too much of she liked girls or not so that was never really a problem. So cut to football season 2017. We’re both in marching band and that’s how we became friends that year. We ended up both being in the same English class that school year and I become good friends with some of her other friends, including her maybe gf. (Shout out to those friends they’re super great). Since I have a massive crush on her (it’s 2018 by now) I pay more attention to her and stuff and I kinda notice how she acted with maybe gf. Like paying attention to maybe gf like I payed attention to her, looking at her lips, always mentioning her, stuff like that. So I think “oh she likes her, oh well, I wish her the best.” I’m quite shy irl so I wasn’t gonna make a move or anything and I was content what it was, though hopeful that she’ll maybe like me someday. I hate if people come on too strong myself and kinda believe that feelings are just gonna be what they are, rather than things that can swung heavily (idk if that makes sense but whatever)

So summer break happens then we’re at marching band 2018 still got my crush, still hopeful but not expecting much bc I still notice things between my crush and maybe gf. I think maybe gf is straight (I know, I know I’m not for assuming people’s sexuality but it was what it was) maybe it was my feelings making me think that maybe gf would never reciprocate but anyways I mainly feel bad for my crush bc it looks she really likes this girl and I can relate lol. So homecoming comes and I really wanna slow dance with her but I miss my fucking chance bc I go to the bathroom. Oh well. She did grind on me at one point but all the girls in our group were so whatever it was nice but didn’t really mean anything. And I actually worked up the nerve to text her that she looked gorgeous at homecoming (which she did) and I’m still proud of myself for that

One day shortly after, we’re at a band competition in the warmup room chilling bc we’re waiting for the rain to stop so we can go on. We’re talking in a group and someone ends up asking her if she has a crush on maybe gf, and she quickly denies (and I think yeah right lol) but then they ask if she has a crush on me and she stutters our her denial. The way she did it made me think that maybe I had a chance (there were other things too of course like the occasional look, etc). So the next day I muster up all the courage I have and text her asking if she has a crush on me, she says no, and I confess that I like her to get it off my chest. I thank god that we still remained great friends after that. We actually haven’t brought it up since.

Then the next football game she’s asked if she’s ever kissed a girl and she says yes and I’m like ah ha! I bet they are actually dating. (Side note that I kinda came out to like have the band that night cause someone asked if I was straight and I said no). I get a text from maybe gf the next day asking for relationship advice (she had never mentioned that she was in a relationship before) or something (I can’t really remember anymore). She’s playing the pronoun game so I figure that it’s a girl she’s dating and she’s says so later and tells me she’s bi. I told her I was bi too and we bonded over that and stuff it was nice and brought us closer etc. She says she doesn’t wanna tell me who it is and I respected that but I kinda figured that it was my crush. I think oh well that sucks for me but I’m happy for them. For things like this I largely live by just flowing with life and seeing where it takes you. If I didn’t I’d probably literally explode from stress lmao

Over then next couple months she tells me various things about her relationship which went through ups and downs. She felt trapped and pressured to come out and like nobody else could ever love her (which I always denied). There was a rough patch where she overloaded me with emotional stuff (which I am not prepared to handle) but it’s not too relevant to the story other than that a lot of the things she said made me more sure that my crush was her gf bc it just sounded like how she would act (note that after this she pretty much stopped texting me about her gf so I didn’t really get anymore info)

Sidenote: I’m not too sure how healthy their relationship actually was and since I only ever got one side of it I’m still not too sure how much of what I was told was truthful vs exaggerated since maybe gf was going through a rough patch. There were things like her panicking bc her gf was talking about marriage (yikes) and coming out and stuff. But she also talked about how it was easy to not cheat bc there was no one else in our town and she would kiss other girls as like a shock factor thing at parties and be like “my gf shouldn’t get mad bc it’s not like fr” (also yikes). I’ve pretty much come to the conclusion that both of them had things that weren’t the best but we’re teenagers and this was probably both of their first relationships so I’m not labeling them as bad people or anything. The biggest clue tho that my crush was her gf was that she said that her gf was the only person who knew all the terrible things about her/her life and since my crush was probably the closest to her I sorta assumed

Sidenote 2: some other things that made me sure of their relationship: my crush once got jealous of me in the group chat (she jokingly told me no to something, idk what anymore, and my crush was like what about me??? Lol), maybe gf kinda tripped and my crushes hand went to her waist in an intimate way to stabilize her, they were always each other’s lock screens, my crush would always give in to maybe gf (which sometimes I didn’t like bc I felt like she had to give into some things she shouldn’t have— not like really bad things but just kinda :/ and she’d have to apologize for playful insults even tho maybe gf said like the same level of insult), the eye contact when our teacher mentioned interracial sex lol, also the constant FaceTiming and calling that lowkey got on my nerves (nyc trip was the worst but really wasn’t that bad. It was mostly the jealousy that made it suck)

Sidenote 3: prom happened somewhere in here and we cuddled on the couch a bit but not like what your thinking, more like sat really close but it was nice. At one point she was like completely on top of me bc she was fighting with someone playfully

Anyways moving on to the end of the school year, I’m like 90% sure they’re dating, and I notice things seem tense between them. My crush would put her head down a lot and they would playfully insult each other with a bit more bite. They didn’t hang around each other as much as they used to, etc. I was just really picking up on some vibes. Eventually things seem to settle down a bit buts it’s the end of the year already and they’re graduating and stuff.

All three of us ended up doing this program at a university that lets kids work with scientists and learn about stem etc. we each work in different labs so we don’t see each other everyday but the group gets together like 1-2 times a week. During these, I notice that they just don’t seem as close, like they didn’t sit next to each other, phone lock screens aren’t each other, crush’s name in maybe gfs phone is her full name not nick name (though this could have always been that, I’m not sure), my crush no longer apologizes or cares as much if maybe gf gets a little mad (which she gets easily). Taking this with the tension before school got out into consideration, I figure that they must have broken up. Cool cool, maybe I have a chance but also she’s moving across the state for college in a month so :/

That brings us to the grand finale: today. So I have no idea really if they have broken up or if they were even together in the first place. But then maybe gf mentions that she is now dating this guy (which I approve of, he’s super sweet). I kinda suspected bc a picture of him was her lock screen, they had been hanging out a lot, initials in insta bios (which Ik should be a dead give away but she once said that she hates how people assumed that her and this other guy were together when she was dating her gf do I didn’t wanna assume anything) and I was like ah ha! At lest Ik that they aren’t dating now if they ever did in the first place. She invites me to come hang out with her, her bf and another couple that I’m good friends with tomorrow. So after I get home, partly bc I don’t wanna be the only single person there, partly bc I wanna see if I can weasel out the truth, and partly bc I may have day dreamed about us being all coupley too and maybe a kiss (oh how I wish). I text her and ask if my crush can come too so I’m not the only single person there. She texts back saying that it would be a good idea. So I figure it’s now or never so I ask if it’s bc they dated. She originally says no but then says admits that yes they dated but she broke up with her and they are still friends.

She basically says that she broke up with her bc she’s not ready to be out bc she doesn’t wanna lose some of her friends, wants to be normal, etc. she’s always been insecure, so it’s not too surprising for me. I sincerely hope that one day she reaches a place where she can be herself and not worry. I also feel bad for my crush bc I have a feeling that she’s probably still pretty hurt over it and I wish her the best too. I’m not gonna try to like make a move or anything bc a. I have no idea how long it’s been since the breakup and how she feels about it b. I’ve already expressed feelings so I don’t wanna be that person who keeps pusing after they’re rejected c. She’s moving like 6 hours away in a month

All in all I’m super surprised that I actually picked up on the fact that they were dating and had broken up bc I’m am not very emotionally intelligent at all. Honestly I doubt I would have picked up on much if I was paying such close attention bc of my crush. I spent like an hour+ writing this I can’t believe I actually had so much to say and it makes my life seem much more dramatic that it is. Thank you if you actually read all this or have kept up with my woes in the slightest bye

[swimmingclassicrockpizzawombat]

TW: Suicide

Asking for help

Ok so I'm too much of a pussy to say this in my regular social media accounts, but I need to put this out there someway.

I'm legitimately thinking about maybe killing myself? Like I'll maybe wait till Friday in order to get a chance to say goodbye to everything but yeah.

Why? Well, I honestly see no future for myself, or well technically THERE IS a future for me just like there is for everyone else, it's just not one I want to live in y'know?

Literally no one cares about me so that argument of "think of all the people who love you" never rang true for me (???), in fact there are some people (particularly those in my family) who have actually asked me to kill myself and told me it would make everyone's lives better. I have no friends bc people find me too weird and the few who tolerated me only used me as their therapist or dumped me after I came out to them (Bc omg ew, you're one of those freaks), including my bff of 14 years who I had been through everything with. My family also hates my guts, not only constantly invalidating my identity but they've always been abusive and blamed me for everything (?), like fr I've often felt like I have always been the parent raising a couple of five year olds in adult bodies. Some days they say I'm the reason they want to get divorced and others that I'm the reason they haven't gotten a divorced and have stayed in an unhappy marriage (????) Among other things.

Now, I had originally been planning to leave all of this once I started college but I have been repeatedly getting rejected from every single college (even my safety schools) I've applied to every year since I finished high school, I mean, a few months ago I had been a little hopeful since a college actually accepted me with a scholarship! But today I got an update on my application saying that I wasn't accepted after all. (The school accepted me but not the department I applied to if that makes sense).

Like, I used to be your typical overachieving top student all through out middle school and high school, most often bc of my anxiety or the hopes of that being the thing to get me away from my family, and now I'm just stuck here getting rejected everywhere.

As for my love life... Well let's just say it's a mess (?), I have managed to be both the person in school people asked out as a joke and found so hideous they teased their friends about how awful it would be dating me, and also have two guys harrass me for seven years going as far as threatening to kill me if I kept refusing (one eventually calmed down, and the other only left me alone after I found a way to blackmail him into leaving me alone) (also the only guy I ever liked at first pretended to like me back and later admitted he was only using me, constantly tried to undermine me and compare me to other people and blocked me when he got bored of me).

Now my history with death! It's like it's chased me my whole life, even before the pandemic, the first experience I remember was when I was six and my grandma's brother was the only family member I felt comfortable around (Oh did I mention my family outside of hating me is a mess?, like I have uncles who have been doing drugs for years and even ended up in jail, my grandpa who while he hasn't directly abused me constantly tries to grope me and makes really weird comments about my body, and just in general they always get into fights about everything), well he died, later in elementary school I was constantly bullied for one reason or another and had only two friends, well one of them had cancer and passed away when we were in 5th grade, while the other kinda stopped talking to me. Now highschool? No not yet, first the same day I graduated middle school my grandfather (the other one, not the one who gropes me but he still terrified me, not the point) passed away!, Ok now highschool, again I had no friends bc people deemed me a freak, so the only ones I felt comfy with were my pets, well, when I was going through possibly the worst grade in highschool and my mental health kept declining, I came home one day to find my cat (the only one who ever tried to comfort me ever) really sick, we took him to the vet but he still passed away two days after, then a few months after that my dog (after a few traumatic events with maggots... I'm not gonna go into details but I have a phobia of insects particularly maggots, so that sucked).

I should also mention that although I haven't been officially diagnosed with it, I'm pretty sure I have C-PTSD (and have discussed it with my therapist), and I'm getting tired of the constant nightmares and flashbacks that send me into high alert and panic attacks everyday, plus I can't trust people anymore.

Whenever I look at happy people or people having friends or families that care about them, or hell even all my peers going to college or getting jobs, I usually feel like it's the universe reminding me of the things I can't have and it's way of rubbing them in my face.

And it's not for lack of trying! I'm tired of people telling me I feel this way bc I want to, or that I'm stuck where I am bc I haven't tried hard enough, cause I HAVE!

I know other people have it worse and I do feel guilty about that but idk, I still feel like crap.

I've tried going on medications but so far they haven't helped at all, and my psychiatrist is a little invalidating at times (?), like I'm pretty sure he's a transmedicalist based on everything he has said whenever I've talked about my dysphoria.

I also started going with a regular therapist/psychologist, but I had a kind of fight with her since I felt like she was judging me and complaining about my inability to make friends or to just get over my trauma. And before them I had already gone to 5 previous therapists, all of which proved useless at best and harmful at worst (one literally misdiagnosed me with autism once, treated me like a dog and tried to gaslight me constantly which just ugh, I won't get into that).

Finally I've tried reaching out to people, friends or whatever, but usually no one cares and just ignores me or tells me to get over it and shit.

So I guess this is my way of asking for help since I've already tried everything (??)

I even tried contacting like 3 suicide helplines and shit and no one helped me or answered.

Plus at this point I don't really care about much and that includes being vulnerable to strangers on the internet.

I feel like I've been in so much pain recently that I have no tears or fucks left to give, like I have completely shut down and feel numb, my reasoning being "crying has never solved any of your problems, cry all you want but the pain won't go away, your tears won't make a school accept you, get you friends, or people to stop telling you to kill yourself, or a job or make anyone care about you so what's the point?"

I have tried to end my life in the past with no success, and I feel like the only reason I haven't done it yet is out of fear, and not even fear of death funnily enough but of the physical pain it requires, or of failing and ending up in a psych ward which if you hadn't heard already are pretty terrible and abusive, since I'm such a coward.

But I'm tired, I'm tired of my abusive family, of everyone constantly invalidating my identity, of people treating me like a freak, of things never working out for me, of feeling so alone, of everyone I care about dying, of people only using me, of the constant nightmares and flashbacks etc

Again, I don't know if there's anything anyone could ever say that could help me or to change things, so I don't know why I am asking for help.

[loyolahcmass]

Homily on Believer by Imagine Dragons

Here is the preview of Fr. Rossi’s homily on the song Believer by Imagine Dragons:

“Believer” Homily: HCM

 "Amen, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it produces much.”

                                                                                                                                                                                                          John 12: 20-33

What is it about Imagine Dragons?

 Why are they one of the most popular rock groups around today?

 Hardly a week goes by that somebody doesn’t suggest one of their songs for the Hopkins Mass.

 And, when someone makes that suggestion, everybody says, “Yeah! That’s one of my favorite songs!”

__________

 So, what is it?

 It certainly isn’t that the members of the group are publicity hounds.

 Even if you’re a fan of their music, can you name even one member of the band?

 They’re not in-your-face celebrities the way many pop stars are these days.

 So, what is it?

__________

 Well, there songs always have catchy melodies.

 They have a great beat.

 They’re filled with energy and life.

 Try to stay still listening to an ID song!

 And, the topic is usually something most of us can relate to.

 It’s down-to-earth and usually hopeful.

__________

 “You build me up!”

                               “Believer,” Imagine Dragons

 “Believer” is a perfect example of an ID song.

 It’s got all the qualities mentioned above.

 And there’s no doubt about it, the guys in Imagine Dragons are true believers.

 They worked like dogs against all the odds to become successful in the music business.

 And when they finally made it after years of hard knocks, they celebrated their success with us: they wrote and performed the song “Top of the World.”

 It was the first ID’s song that caught my attention and we used it at the Hopkins Mass the first time we ever did a “sending forth” song.

__________

 It’s an anthem that says, “We’ve worked hard and made it, and so can you.”

 It’s a song that could only be written by believers: people who believe that it’s possible to succeed in this life even when times are tough.

 I not only like Imagine Dragon’s songs, I admire those guys!

__________

 Speaking of believers I admire, I’d like to tell you about another person I respect very much.

 Her name is Alexandra Bernadotte and she’s the daughter of Haitian immigrants. 

 She came to the United States with her family when she was just eight, speaking only French and Haitian-Creole.

 But, she quickly learned English and worked very hard in elementary and high school.

 In 1988, she won a scholarship to Dartmouth College. 

 It was a dream come to true for Alex and her family.

 She would be the first member of her family to graduate from college.

__________

 But realizing that dream proved to be far more difficult than she imagined.

 Her years at Dartmouth were filled with isolation, self-doubt, and near failure.

 The low point came during her sophomore year when she was forced to return home on academic suspension. 

 She realized - almost too late - that she was not ready for the Dartmouth experience.

__________

 But with a lot of help from her friends and teachers, support from her family, and perseverance, Alex made it. 

 Now, she's working to ensure that other first-generation American students avoid the pitfalls she faced getting through college. 

 A lot of colleges are recruiting these students, but they fail to understand that they might not be ready for the higher education challenges.

 Only 9% of these students ever graduate from college.

__________

 So, Alex started Beyond 12, a nonprofit organization that uses technology to work with college students, tracking their progress and ensuring that they complete their degrees. 

 Beyond 12 currently tracks some 50,000 students on 180 campuses across the country. 

 Alex and her team alert them via app to course registration, financial aid, and other campus resources. 

 Her group also tutors students, in-person or online, offering advice, encouragement and counselling.

 Alexandra Bernadotte has taken her experience of near-disaster and, through Beyond 12 is giving new generations of students a better chance not only to succeed, but to excel in college.

__________

 Alex's experience mirrors Jesus’ grain of wheat parable and Imagine Dragon’s song “Believer”. 

 From her own difficult experience of being an immigrant student trying to succeed in college - "dying" to her fears and failures - she is now helping students with backgrounds such as hers realize their full potential to succeed. 

 Jesus holds up the grain of wheat as a symbol of hope in the wake of our own difficult experiences and stressful transitions. 

__________

 “Christ is the source of salvation for all.”

                                                               Hebrews 5:9

 Christ-like love demands change, risk, hard work: in other words, a certain amount of "dying to self".

 But, if we're willing to sacrifice ourselves for the sake of others and risk caring for them, Christ promises us salvation both here and in heaven.

 In our willingness to show compassion to others, there will always be second chances for them and for us, opportunities to begin again. 

 Only by reaching out beyond ourselves do we learn and grow as human beings.

 Only by giving to others do we receive.

 It’s a paradox, but it’s true.

 Just ask believers like Imagine Dragons and Alex.

[weirdo-with-a-nametag]

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? Me. Just now, to spite you.

2. Are you outgoing or shy? I’m loud, and friendly, but terrified. Sometimes I go out of my way to socialize with a lot of people, and sometimes I try to be as unnoticeable as possible. It takes a lot out of me, but it seems necessary to be social.

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? My best friend, my sisters, my dad

4. Are you easy to get along with? I’ve been told I am by reputable sources

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? I have a pact that my best friend and I are to get drunk together one of these days, and he’s nice so he would care, but knowing myself I’ll probably be the one taking care of him, or I’d just pass out on the floor and he’d go sleep

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? nah

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? nah

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? what opposite?

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? not really? I mean, wait, my approach to talking about sex is somewhat clinical. If other people talk about it in other ways, I can get really uncomfortable really fast. That’s part of what I mean by “sex-averse.” If someone’s talking about sex including me, I freak a little.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? mm, probably my dad. We talked things out a few days after I moved out, which was recent.

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? it says, “Who?”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? I am So Bad at favorites. No, thank you, today.

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Some people, if I know they’re going to, for sure.

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? Yeah. The world would be less interesting to me without luck.

15. What good thing happened this summer? I got an Infinity Cube (and proceeded to mess with it nonstop fr so long that I had to hide it for the next week until my hand stopped hurting), and I made several thousand dollars for my savings.

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? The last person would be my little sister’s goodbye kiss. Absolutely, I love her.

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Of course.

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? who?

19. Do you like bubble baths? bubble baths are nice in concept. I always end up hurting my back by lying in bathtubs, though.

20. Do you like your neighbors? My neighbors hate my family. But me, personally... I’ve never been anything but nice to them, and I think we’re on okay terms. We don’t interact much.

21. What are you bad habits? I bite my nails, ignore my “eat food” alarms, stay up until after sunrise for NO REASON I cannot go to sleep, I get kinda snippy if my mom starts a conversation we’ve already had, use wrappers as coasters instead of throwing my trash away, and rarely stick with something long enough to make anything of it. I have a 95% assembled 3D printer sitting in my room. It’s been at that point for 8 months at least.

22. Where would you like to travel? Oh, yes, I want to learn languages and see the wildlife and touch the water and lay in snow outside of Oregon. Please.

23. Do you have trust issues? Doesn’t everyone? I recently figured out another level to mine, though. Fun!

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? putting on tea water and music while I do the dishes

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? Check the dysphoria for that one. But runner-ups: it’s really uncomfortable to feel my skin-on-skin when I bend my torso too far, fat rolls are a bad sensory experience for me. Amy oily or overly dry skin is distracting, and my ears always feel like they need to be popped.

26. What do you do when you wake up? During quarantine it’s been go back to sleep, eventually turn on some tv, wait for my housemate to get up .

28. Who are you most comfortable around? mm, my two closest friends, or my housemate.

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Have one ex, who asked me something that smelled like it was leading toward “do you want to get back together?” recently. But I don’t think either of us regret breaking up, when we did. It was the right choice.

30. Do you ever want to get married? Eh, how are the tax benefits? I wouldn’t mind, but I have a hard time believing it’d be because we fell in love, and it’s also terribly restricting. I’d honestly rather have a household of 4, a big poly qpr specifically, so I’m not lonely and I can put my love somewhere, and we can support each other. That sounds great.

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? mhm

33. Spell your name with your chin. l,kianaz       --I did that twice and it’s identical

34. Do you play sports? What sports? Nah. If you count climbing, then yes, but not competitively. I played ultimate frizbee for a bit? And I like playing hockey. 

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? TV. No question. Music is the  foundation of the machine that pulls me through my day-to-day. That sounds dramatic, but a more precise explanation would be annoyingly long. Someone gets it.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? mm, I “like” my best friend in some kinda way, but I’m sure he knows my feeling as well as I do. (still not very well, but the point here is that I’m an open book and we’re close)

37. What do you say during awkward silences? I either don’t register them at all, or I do and immediately divert to some mental or physical activity. Usually blurt out a random thing on my mind, change the subject, or... throw something. Sometimes I throw things at people I want to talk to. Not sure how to explain that one.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? ?

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Clothes shopping is exhausting, what with the endless textures and noises and flourescent lights and linoleum floors and I come out of it with one (1) acceptable shirt and a feeling like I’ve been sanding the edges off of my brain with a belt sander for the hours I spent in the store. Grocery shopping can be fun, but it’s usually more pain than the food is worth, and I like looking for art supplies - SCRAP here in portland is fun. Oh, and lumber stores or carpet warehouses, if I can get away with climbing.

40. What do you want to do after high school? I want to go to college for physics, graduate and move out of the country for grad school, and end up on a research grant teaching somewhere. On my current trajectory, I’ll probably flunk out next year and go to the Job Corps for Forestry training. Look for a job as a ranger, maybe. Volunteer with rescue crews. Not a bad life at all, but I love learning and I’d feel a bit cut off, I think.

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Yeah. People deserve second chances in life, but we need to answer for our actions. And no one has the right to demand a second chance from a person. You don’t “deserve” that. You might get a second chance, if you’re lucky. But it’s luck and kindness and trust, not deserved, that you are responsible for taking care not to break.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? Probably I’m just thinking, in some way or another. Sometimes I’m keeping myself from running out of the room, sometimes I’m focused on my music, sometimes I’m coming up with something to say

43. Do you smile at strangers? Usually. I try to smile when I make eye contact with people, try and be nice, if I feel safe

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Space is attractive but I think I’d see/discover more with a physical deep sea trip than a physical deep space trip. Faster, certainly.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? Music, usually, or someone yelling, or I need to pee.

46. What are you paranoid about? my actions having a “butterfly effect” and hurting people, every person, every time I interact with them, but the effects seem so small that no one notices. It’s already too late.

47. Have you ever been high? no? I get a weird loopy reaction to Ibuprofen sometimes, but I’ve never been intentionally intoxicated

48. Have you ever been drunk? see above

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? I stole some pez? But people know about that. Oh. the answer is yes.

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? black

51. Ever wished you were someone else? mm, not really. I’ve wished I didn’t exist, but not to be another person who does exist

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? If I could trust my sense of right and wrong, that would be nice. But physically? I want wings, big enough to fly with.

54. Favourite store? my favorite tea shop was Townshend’s, but they changed. There’s a kombucha place under my kung fu place that’s good, though.

56. Favourite colour? I usually say cobalt.

57. Favourite food? no idea

58. Last thing you ate? 5-am-midnight-dinner-tacos

59. First thing you ate this morning? I am denying the fact that it is morning.

60. Ever won a competition? For what? I won multiple boat races in my 8th grade shop class. Oh and my robotics team went to state two years in a row

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? nah. Got detention for something in middle school, and a lot of trouble in elementary school, but no suspensions.

62. Been arrested? For what? .....no

63. Ever been in love? questionable

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? my what

65. Are you hungry right now? I’m very rarely hungry. Also just ate. No.

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? I have 1 1/2 tumblr friends, none of which I know better than my real-life friends, so my bonds with them are not as strong, no

67. Facebook or Twitter? neither

68. Twitter or Tumblr? tumblr 

69. Are you watching tv right now? no

70. Names of your bestfriends? I refuse

71. Craving something? What? sleep

72. What colour are your towels? whatever color is cheapest

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? right now there are five pillows on my bed. Not a personal choice. If given the option, one, maybe two.

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? not really

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? probably 12, including in storage and display-only

75. Favourite animal? there are too many cool animals. It was the wolverine for a while though

76. What colour is your underwear? blue today

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? usually chocolate. Been on a vanilla kick lately though

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? used to go for mint chocolate chip whenever it was available, but I like cherry, moose tracks, I like most things without marshmallows or cake batter, unless you get really weird.

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? blue.

80. What colour pants? orange, with white dotted plaid striping

81. Favourite tv show? how to pick. I’m rewatching Leverage this week, and the Magicians is visually appealing

82. Favourite movie? uh? It was Treasure planet for several months when I was 7, and I have a deep appreciation for the movie adaptation of Holes, but I don’t know abou favorites right now. The Usual Suspects is good though

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? I don’t think I’ve watched either

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? again, no clue

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? I

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? Dory, or the manta ray, or the baby sea turtle

87. First person you talked to today?... my mom? I think

88. Last person you talked to today? my mom

89. Name a person you hate? no

90. Name a person you love? my sisters. both of them.

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? god. Let me sleep.

92. In a fight with someone? kind of in a fight with my mom over cleaning? Not much of a fight though.

93. How many sweatpants do you have? three? Maybe more if you expand the definition

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? 3 sweaters, 4-5 hoodies

95. Last movie you watched? Holes

98. Do you tan a lot? I burn in 10 minutes or less, guaranteed, and I don’t really tan no matter what

99. Have any pets? yes! Lots! 4 cats, 3 dogs, 2 snakes. Lovely sweet creatures

100. How are you feeling? vibrate-y

101. Do you type fast? no, I cheated in typing class and now I type with three fingers and a braille keyboard

102. Do you regret anything from your past? most of it

103. Can you spell well? I think so

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? I miss my best (and only) friend from elementary school. We haven’t talked since the summer after 5th grade.

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? I have thrown many bonfire parties, and been to those of others

106. Ever broken someone’s heart? I have no idea. Oh. Maybe a little? But we’re still friends, so I think it’s ok

107. Have you ever been on a horse? yeah, horses are fun

108. What should you be doing? sleeping!

109. Is something irritating you right now? my hip

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? “liked”? probably not

111. Do you have trust issues? isn’t this on here twice? Yes, I have trust issues.

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? mm, my dad and a psychologist

113. What was your childhood nickname? I didn’t have one until middle school, and then it was “Lemur” for about a year. Now it’s Murphy

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? I’ve been everywhere between Oregon and Virginia (drove across to move here), Idaho, California, Indiana, DC, Washington, Texas, Vegas specifically, Florida, Canada, and China.

115. Do you play the Wii? Used to play mariokart with my dad

116. Are you listening to music right now? yeah, right at this moment it’s “Tribulation” by Matt Maeson

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? I guess. Usually the noodles are disgusting, usually it’s canned, and that’s not good

118. Do you like Chinese food? there are definitely dishes in amaricanized Chinese food that I like, and for sure dishes in authentic Chinese food that I love, so I guess so?

119. Favourite book? Ah. No comment.

120. Are you afraid of the dark? I don’t think so.

121. Are you mean? I think I can be, but everyone outside my family seems to think I’m an angel, so

122. Is cheating ever okay? Listen, if you can’t tell your SO you’re interested in another person and talk through what that means with them, I think you have more important things to do? That said, I have no experience here. From other people talking about it and my general idea of the fallout and trust, no. Don’t.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? Highly unlikely. I have never tried, or wanted to

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? I don’t even know what love feels like

125. Do you believe in true love? I’m sure whatever it is can be as “true” as you believe it to be

126. Are you currently bored? always

127. What makes you happy? making things, making people happy, seeing beautiful things, and music

128. Would you change your name? I might

129. What your zodiac sign? Cancer

130. Do you like subway? no

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? I ask “what are you looking for in our relationship that is not currently there,” and we move from there. Communication and understanding. This is what happened with me and my (now) ex. We’re closer for having talked through our relationship and breakup, honestly.

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? Another repeat? My dad and a psychologist.

133. Favourite lyrics right now? mm, “I want my answers to be questioned” from “Take Me Back” by Kongos because reasons I can’t explain right now. Also a bunch of Lake Ponchartrain by Ludo because I like that song and a bunch of The Mountain Goats but I can’t think sorry

134. Can you count to one million? If I dedicated the time, but why

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? Convinced my neighbor my name was “oop” or something like that? And that my real name was actually my middle name. Completely on impulse. I did convince her, though. 3rd grade me did know what was up, apparently.

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? closed. Windows open, though, it gets way too hot in here 

137. How tall are you? 5′5″ish

138. Curly or Straight hair? straight

139. Brunette or Blonde? n/a. Red.

140. Summer or Winter? winter. I overheat and I love snow and ice skating

141. Night or Day? night. Stars and no sunburn or sunlight-headaches

142. Favourite month? no idea

143. Are you a vegetarian? nah

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? dark

145. Tea or Coffee? tea

146. Was today a good day? today was long

147. Mars or Snickers? snickers, I suppose. I don’t like either of these

148. What’s your favourite quote? I’ve come across several quotes I thought were terribly clever and I wanted to remember, and I remember none of them. Although recently “anything worth doing is worth doing halfway” has been good to me

149. Do you believe in ghosts? can’t think of a reason not to

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? (via catscuddlingandyou) I’ll level. It’s 7:39am, I haven’t slept, and everything hurts, I don’t really want to get out of bed and look for a book for this. I’ll pull up the book I have on my phone, though. “so unnerved was he at the sight that he leaned against the wall with his hand to his throat to stifle his inclination to call out.”

[cheswirls]

a quick sum-up of che’s future career plans, bc reasons

im halfway through the dive!! anime show that came out this summer season, and i’m having a lot of thoughts, and plus i finished going through all the footage i missed today of skate america while i was at a bball game, and it’s made me realize different things i guess? 

it might be mid-long length so its going under a cut, but to gain intereststart off, this is all about my desire to be an athletic trainer for the usa olympic center at colorado springs, co !

ive been an at(now when you see that abb. you know what it means hah!! not assistant teacher hmm) student since my freshman year of high school, and i’ve loved it a whole bunch. back then i was set on going to columbia U for their writing program, and i wanted to major in graphic design afterwards/during/it wasnt super planned out i was a fr. i didnt know what bfa or mfa stood for yet. it wasnt until end of sophomore year than i thought about being an at for realsies.

but i also still loved gd. so there was a confliction there.

junior year i took a break from working volleyball in the fall and did my one and only year of football and it was terrible primarily bc the team i worked with didnt know how to function as a group and half the group were selfless bitch whores but like thats another storyyy, secondly bc i jus really discovered i didnt care abt football at all. it was mostly for the experience and i gained it and i liked it bc i hung out w a lot of people from helping out w varsity (i was one of two our of the five juniors that had been there since my fr year and was only on jv bc it was my first year w football, but one of the seniors had to work a bunch so when they needed an extra person i was the one w the most experience so i was w them a lot,) point was it was fun!!! and you have fun w ppl you like that you dont work w all the time and i shouldnt say fun bc lots of times it was awful,

basically! it was fun being w the varsity trainers which were the seniors and the other junior that had been around since fr year. volleyball was fun but it had always been a one-at-student-per-team sport , so it was different jus being w other ats that shared the same team and not the same sport(which in the us is made up of at least three different teams, a fr,jv,and varsity). it was a more open environment and so it inspired a lot of talk with the at grad students we had that semester (we got 3-4 every semester in a partnership w the D1 uni in town, it was always cool to hear stories from them!) and anyway i remember talking w a couple of the grads one practice and we were discussing all the different occupations athletic trainers could have, and what they wanted to work with in the future, and the topic veered towards professional sports and the olympics.

i thought it was really cool when we were talking about it, and then we got busy and it flew out of my mind. i dont remember when it came back and became a focus, but sometime before my senior year, i had decided i wanted to work at the olympic level.

real quick i mentioned gd and the struggle, so to bring that into focus, my junior year i took a whole bunch of different tech classes (gd&i, compsci, webtech) and in one of those, i had the opportunity to go to a ... i cant remember what the term was for it, but it was kinda an event for gd students and it had a little competition and stuff, and it was really fun! nd you got a lot of info abt the community college hosting it and i learned their program was really good, so the gd versus at internal struggle continued, and i remember talking to my sponsor teacher (she actually taught all three of my tech classes that year aaa i loved her) about how i didnt know what to do and shit and i dunno what she told me but like, i think she was trying to be encouraging but she basically said it was up to me, like she didnt try and nod me into a direction, that i can recall.

so SOMEHOW bc i honestly cannot remember, by senior year i’ve decided that im gonna jus fuck it and pick BOTH and double major in gd and athletic training. AND i had it all planned out, where i was gonna get a degree in gd and open up an online business, and then go into a masters program for at and then enter into the olympic field. 

by this point creative writing is still cool and a great hobby but i couldnt possibly double major AND have a minor that��d be too much. id still love to take a cw course tho one day.

basically a buncha crazy stuff happened that first semester but by winter break i had an acceptance letter to a uni a couple hours north of home with a good accredited undergrad program (accredited basically means you graduate w a masters in four years so its fasttracked which woulda been great but uh..) and by the time i found out that next semester that they were doing away with the accredited program i was already too emotionally invested to consider panic-switching(panic bc it was february and id already been admitted hah...) but i decided it’d be okay. basically if you dont remember/werent around one of my school’s head ats died in a car crash died around early october ‘16. she went to undergrad where i go now, and i’d talked to her about it september that semester wondering if she knew anything abt their program and uh surprise, she’d done the same program small world. after the funeral in november and a ton of thought i applied there. (november was.. crazy in general last year. rly crazy)

may was when i started adding on sports to the future olympics job, bc i started thinking about it and after finally getting a friend to watch yuri on ice, he started making his was through all of sochi’s figure skating stuff, and then the 2010 vancouver olympics, and i decided i wanted to recap a bit on that too.

the 2010 olympics was really my first experience with figure skating. i’m a west texas gal and so theres not a lot out here to get exposed to, so seeing these best-of-the-best class sports was fun, and the earliest experience i can remember of such. i was in fifth grade so i dont remember a ton, but i do remember being captivated by korea’s yuna kim, who won gold that year in fs. shes an fs legend at this point, so if you’re into figure skating and don’t know who she is, go look her up. you wont be disappointed.

in 2012 was the london olympics. i remember a lot from it, like watching the opening ceremony with my parents and seeing the queen jump out of a helicoptor(which is like,, still cool to this day wow) and being fascinated my michael phelps and all the swimming he did so grandly. it was also my first real exposure to diving. the oldest i could recall anything abt the sport was at a pizza hut somewhere.. in town i think, and i was w my best friend at the time and my mom was there so i think maybe we were on the way back from the lake??? sounds right, i think. and we were talking abt how i always held my nose when i went underwater bc i didnt know how to not get water all up my nostrils and be underwter(and i still dont to this day aha) and she mentioned like, joining a diving team would be cool! would help me get over it and all! and i like recalling it dunno what she was talking abt bc we lived in dirt city nothing so i highly doubt there was or is any sort of diving sport happening. swimming, yeah maybe, there were lessons at pools and bodyworks areas around town, competitive teams im not sure tho, but not diving like at all so??? dunno.

so my next and technically first real experience with it was watching the london olympics. and i thought, wow, this is so neat!! i watched from that one day like the opening events, and i think i was old enough to search online like yea i had a laptop by then so i looked up the schedule for the things i wanted to see most of, and i ended up watching i think most of the diving events (i missed a couple for.. archery, i think? maybe?) and absolutely loving it. iunno what it was, maybe something i never thought i could do?(bc not hold my nose?? while i dove???????? scaryy) but i enjoyed it a bunch.

i was older when sochi was a thing, my 8th grade year. i was able to appreciate things a lot more. when i tuned into events, tony hawk and snowboarding were the main focus, but figure skating was on a lot as well. i had a tv in my room by that point, so if i didnt like what was playing on the main tv, i could go watch another event. i learned a lot of names and faces through that, and so while my bff was watching it our senior year if i was with him id point out skaters and their nationalities and stuff, like yuzuru hanyus always been a modern day household name w figure skating, but i leanred abt him BECAUSE of the sochi olympics, and he was one of the ones i’ve never forgotten. i really really liked it, so much that i watched worlds after, and around the same time my fr year, i tuned in to just the worlds championship again. i didn’t pick up trying to watch grand prix(which is their regular season, for those unaware) season until my junior year, and most of it was day-or-two-late videos from youtube, since the ice channel i think it a paid-for thing (i still dont know much abt it hah) and nothing was on tv otherwise, aside from the skate america event. but since that first time after sochi, ive always been around watching worlds fs near the beg of each year. i’d familiarized myself by senior year with the fs world, and actually,

early (i think march?) of my junior year, i searched up trying to find a figure skating anime at the time. and what did i find?? ginban, the only figure skating anime at the time. i watched like maybe all of one episode, it was abt a girl who shared her body w the ghost of a former figure skater while she was competing in events, and it was.. okay? lackluster, in the animation dept, but it was a 2005 show so.. yeah.

so after that i was like kk that wasnt good lets find another. and i didnt. not yet, anyway. instead, i found an announcement for violet evergarden’s animated adaptation, and yuri on ice, a realistic adaptation of the sport of figure skating. thats bolded bc its important. i found that shit abt yoi before it even had a promo poster, certainly before the pv came around that got everyone hyped up. i found it bc i was looking for figure skating in the first place. in fact, i think when the pv came out and got popular, i didnt even relate it to the upcoming fs anime i’d read about previously. it took me a bit to connect the dots. 

watching yuri on ice at the same time as the gp 2016 season was surreal, but really interesting. i got my bff into it before the second to last episode came out, and i only remember that bc he finally showed any interest when he found something on twitter abt it being gay (newsflash/// hes gay, and before yoi his fav show was no6 bc that was as close as it got. he still rly likes it, we both do, but his solid favc is now definitely yoi. representation matters and all) and was like well now i HAVE to watch it and i was all yes it ends soon so pls. and he watched it twice in a weekend, and thrice before the finale came out, and then a few more times after that, iunno how many times but certainly more thn i have(i went back after the .. maybe ep 10? w/e ending had the after party reveal that changed everything, so i went back to analyze everything before the next ep) and between the week of 11 and finale 12, he started watching the sochi fs competition, and then the 2010 after the show ended w ep 12. 

seeing this great fs show and getting a friend into the world of figure skating really renewed my love for it all. before the semester went out i went back and watched the reruns of the sochi fs stuff. and by may i’d decided i wanted to cosider that to be the sport i worked with.

with diving, it took a similar twist. in the form of the rio 16 olympics. i was all over that shit, i downloaded an nbc app on my phone so i could watch events live while i traveled with volleyball to a tournament in dallas and while i was at practice w them at home and generally jus away from the house and a tv. i planned that shit out had a schedule and everything for what i was watching live, and a lot of it was swimming, but a whoooole lot of live stuff was the diving. 

in the hotel room in dallas the tv would always be on to w/e olympics events were airing at the time, either track or diving tho, one or the other, or recaps. quite a few girls ended up in the room in the evening and we’d all do stuff and watch in passing at the same time, and it was suuuuuper fun. watching the chinese women perform flawlessly and walk away w all the gold was fun, but finding a good commentator to actually say such was a disheartening challenge( one of the most memorable moments w live commentary that year was hearing a woman say of one of the chinese ladies that she’d done better before, after they revealed her personal best score ever like rly cmon be unbiased and jus passionate abt the sport youre covering pls.

ive always been super fond of the diving scene. it may not be as much as fs, but honestly, i wish i grew up in an area w a diving team now, or wish i could try it out now, bc thats how much fun it seems. i still wanna go up to the big city like 30min away from uni and learn to ice skate in the civic center there, but hands down if i had to pick a sport to join tomorrow or die i’d pick diving. 

so also by may, and throughout the culmination of senior year, diving was the second sport on the olympic to-train-for list. you get a five-year contract w the olympics, now i think it’s usa as a whole and i think its by center so say, if i get a job in colorado springs i cant apply in another five years to chula vista or even like lake placid, but iunno for sure. the five-year thing is involved somehow bc i’ve heard it from a physical therapist and trainer-that-works-in-a-sports-med-clinic duo in one body named sarah, who’s been contracted out from the clinic by my high school since junior year also, bc she knows people who’ve worked w the olympics, and then another from church that worked w olympics that knows my family uh iunno how well but i know of him, i think he also works in the clinic as some sort of on-hand surgeon but a diff person than who sarah knew. so its five years somehow and then i’ll take my bfa in gd and open my online business and do that from a studio at home and look after my owl/cat pet combo.

since may, it had been ‘olympics, with either figure skating or diving’. and it stayed that for a long time. now, since a couple weeks ago, and this is again while gp season is happening for fs, its diving. i wanna work w the usa olympic diving team as their team athletic trainer, and i cant do it this summer bc i have to have completed two years of uni, instead of a certain standing, like be a junior, but so NEXT summer, before my senior year of uni, (i came in a sopho so 6 sem only ah) i’m applying for an internship at the center in colorado springs, and that’s the team i hope i work with. 

now i tell people, diving, but if i get offered figure skating, i’ll take it, but diving is the goal now. if i love it and wanna continue professionally, great, i can do that and have an online gd shop. and if i decide i want something different? i’ll work olympics and then join w a professional-level figure skating i actually dunno how it works. coach, and their skater in turn. coach, with multiple skaters under them. a culmination of diff usa skaters. w/e, something in the professional fs world.

and thats uh, thats it! dive has been so much fun to watch, and i realize i talk a lot on here about working w basketball and being an at student in general and the vast majority have no idea what i mean, so hopefully this clarifies. thank you!!

[suranflower]

Clothes for a graduation

Title: clothes for a graduation (check it on ao3)

Words: 4768

Summary: Jimin hates shopping, but he goes shopping with Hoseok because they both need to buy something appropriate for their friend Jin’s graduation. There, Hoseok finds his old friend Kim Namjoon and Jimin meets a charming boy called Taehyung that lives with Namjoon.

Park Jimin loved Jung Hoseok. He truly did. He loved him with all his heart… But he didn’t like shopping, and he certainly hated going shopping with Jung Hoseok. Not that Jimin didn’t like fashion, he liked it a lot. What he didn’t like was the act of shopping itself. Hoseok loved shopping and he could spend hours just watching the clothes and buying nothing. Actually, most of times when they were at the mall, Hoseok kidnapped Jimin and took him to the stores, and Jimin could do nothing against it. So many times, they just went walking by and eating ice cream and Hoseok would say something in the lines of “oh, have you seen that jacket?” And Jimin would answer: “not today, hyung—” just to receive the same words every time. “It’ll be just one second”. And then they entered the store. Hoseok could spend a good hour in the same store, until finally they went home, most of times empty handed.

Today it was a little different. First, because they had money to spend. Second, because they needed clothes. They were buying clothes for a friend’s graduation. Hoseok had selected about seven different outfits just for himself and about other five for Jimin. Jimin wanted to go home, really. He insisted that Hoseok was the first one to try all the clothes.

“Jiminie.” said Hoseok. “Can you take these same pants but about a size smaller?” He threw a pair of black pants over the curtain that divided the changing room from the rest of the store. Jimin could see his bare feet there, struggling to put another pair of pants.

“I’ll be back on a moment.” Jimin said. He was carrying lots of clothes, and they started to feel heavy. He managed to find the piece of clothing while still holding the rest of the stuff. It took him about an eternity. He threw the pants at Hoseok. “There you go.”

“Thanks. But next time don’t throw them at my face.” Jimin laughed and excused himself in a whisper.

“Will you ever get out?”

“I’m trying to see how it could look better. Be patient.” a deep sigh emerged from Jimin’s plump lips. He realized someone looked at him in that precise moment. Apparently, when he was away looking for the pants, another boy had arrived. He was just as busy with clothes as Jimin and he was also waiting in front of an occupied changing room. However, he looked way more patient than Jimin. He gave the boy a full-body look —scan would be a more appropriate word. He must have been around his own age and he had a messy light brown hair that had pieces of a lighter color in it, like the ones a recent hair dye can leave. He was also wearing his shirt in a very particular way. But that’s not what got most of Jimin’s attention. The boy was honestly stunning, like the idol-worthy kind of beauty. The boy smiled at Jimin and he thought that was probably the cutest thing he’d seen. Ah, yes.

Park Jimin.

Born in Busan.

21 years old.

Art student.

Shopping hater but good friend.

And also a smiley fool easily impressed by some stranger’s looks.

That was him.

“It’s taking him long, right?” said the stranger.

“Yeah.”

“Well, it’s sure going to be worthy, I bet you’ll look good.” Jimin smiled again.

“I hope so. Are you also looking for graduation outfits?” Jimin pointed with his eyes at the clothes the boy held. They were formal, and very similar to his. It was about time for graduations, so it seemed logic. The boy nodded.

“A friend is graduating and we have to be there. I mean, we are his friends and all.”

“You don’t look thrilled.”

“I am nervous. I can’t believe he is finally graduating”.

“Well, time goes by. What do you study?”

Exactly in the moment the boy opened his mouth to answer, his friend called from inside the cabin.

“TaeTae, honestly, I can’t believe you really thought this suit was a good idea.”

“C'mon, hyung, get out and let me see it!”

“No way” the other complained. “I look ridiculous.” Jimin was observing the scene with amusement, and didn’t realize Hoseok was already out, standing in front of him to show him his look.

“Jiminie!” Jimin turned to him.

Jung Hoseok.

Born in Gwangju.

22 years old.

Literature student.

Shopping lover and a terrible friend.

Looks incredibly good dressed all in black.

“I like it”.

“What kind of feedback is that?”

“You look good” Jimin shrugged.

“I can’t go to Jin-hyung’s graduation looking just good.”

“What do you want me to say, then?”

“We’re not going anywhere until I am slaying.”

“You slay, hyung.”

“Nice try, but I have to see it in your eyes. And you have very expressive eyes.” Hoseok buried himself into the cabin again. The boy beside him laughed. His friend was already in as well.

“You look like good friends.” he commented.

“We are. In fact, we live together,” Jimin raised his voice so Hoseok could hear him “along with another boy that could have perfectly came here with him.”

“Shut up!”

The boy tried to cover his laugh, unsuccessfully.

“We are roommates too. Though it looks like we have nothing against shopping.” There was a moment of silence. Jimin wanted to continue the conversation, but he didn’t know what to say. He was about to bring up the ever-recurring climate theme, when the boy spoke. “I study film making.”

“Wow, that’s cool!”

“Yeah. I’d like to direct movies. And then I’ll win at Cannes and probably an Oscar too. You’ll se me on TV, be sure of it. I mean if you like cinema.” Jimin couldn’t help but laugh.

“I do like films. And I hope I’ll see you” the boy smiled, a lovely boxy smile.

“What are you studying?”

“Art.”

“Oh, really?” the boy gave him a excited look and Jimin started feeling very shy. “Do you paint then?”

“I try.” Jimin’s voice lowered and he was sure his cheeks were burning red, but if they were, the boy didn’t notice or didn’t care.

“Well, that’s amazing. I wish I could paint. Do you like Van Gogh?”

“I love Van Gogh.”

“Oh my god. You’re definitely my kind of guy.” Jimin laughed, as the boy’s friend came out.

“Woah. Hyung, you look amazing!”

“Really?” the other guy didn’t seem convinced.

“Yes.”

“Isn’t it a little… Too much for a graduation?”

“It’s perfect, truly perfect.” He gave Jimin a look. “My friend here agrees with me, right?”

“Me? Huh, yes,” it caught Jimin by surprise. He gave the older boy a look. It was true that he looked very good. But it was also true that maybe it was a little too much for a friend’s graduation. “Though maybe it’s too, mmm, formal.”

“See? It’s too much.”

“Ah, friend, why did you betray me this way!” said the boy to Jimin, dramatically.

“Jiminie, do you think it could look better with blue shirt?” said Hoseok as he went out. The other two stared at him. Jimin didn’t have time to say anything because in the precise moment Hoseok turned his head, he shouted.

“Namjoon!”

“Hoseok! I can’t believe! What are you doing here?” they got closer, raising their hands to shake them after. Jimin and the boy shared a surprised stare.

“I’m buying clothes for a friend’s graduation, what about you?”

“Same here. Jin-hyung invited us.”

“Yes, that’s where we’re going” Namjoon laughed and make so comment about how it was funny that they met again because the same common friend had invited them to his graduation.

“By the way, this is Taehyung,” Namjoon pointed at the boy. He shook his hand and smiled at Hoseok and Jimin. “He’s my roommate.”

“I thought you had a shared apartment with Yoongi-hyung”.

“Yes, we’re living together with him. And nice to meet you, too.”

“I’m Jimin, and I’m living with Hoseok.”

“So you finally found a flatmate?” Namjoon’s voice was very calming, or at least that’s what Jimin thought. He spoke with confidence and calmness.

“I did! We did, really. We met years ago, in college and we are renting an apartment with a friend of his from Busan.”

“That’s nice.” Namjoon and Hoseok kept talking while Jimin and Taehyung kept quiet, not knowing what to say in that kind of situation. Finally, Taehyung tossed.

“Hyung” he started “I think other people might want to use this place, why don’t you hmmm, try the clothes while you keep talking?”

“Nah, I’ll keep this outfit” said Namjoon. Jimin stared at Hoseok, who just nodded. He hadn’t even asked for feedback, he was just excited to meet again a friend who apparently he hadn’t seen in a long time. Maybe that was the solution for when they went shopping. If Jimin could make secret arrangements so Hoseok met all his classmates from primary school maybe…

“Yeah, you can get in already”. Jimin couldn’t believe what Hoseok was saying. He entered the changing cabin with a deep sigh. Right beside him, he could hear Taehyung changing his clothes. He could even watch his bare feet. Jimin went straight to the black suit, with black shirt buried in the pile of clothes he had. He checked the size was right and that he could move freely. He did. He changed his clothes and went out.

“I’m done”.

“Already?” Hoseok gave him a raised eyebrow. “Let me see”.

“Not today, hyung”.

“I think it’s about time you guys go. This will take forever and Hobi told me you are busy today” said Namjoon.

“Sure. I’ll see you in Jin’s graduation, then?”

“We’ll be there for sure. Yoongi is also coming, but he worked today so he didn’t come. I bet he’ll be happy to hear you’re coming.”

They smiled and payed for their clothes and that was the end of the story… For the moment.

A couple of days passed by and Jimin couldn’t help but think of that beautiful boy, Taehyung. How high was the possibility of meeting him, or that they had friends in common? How high were the chances Taehyung was thinking of him like he was doing? Jimin got butterflies just thinking about it. He felt a little confused and seriously excited for meeting him again on Friday. He decided to ask. And of course, he asked his close friend who hadn’t been in the concrete situation that left him thinking of what could he say to Taehyung when they met again. They had already found (and followed) each other on Instagram, but Jimin didn’t know how to start that conversation and Taehyung hadn’t done it neither. So yes, he asked Jungkook.

“Kook” the younger one didn’t look at Jimin because he was busy playing on his PS4. He nodded, like telling Jimin to sit by his side on the sofa. So yeah, that was him.

Jeon Jeongguk.

Born in Busan.

19 years old.

Majoring in computer programming.

Video games lover. Witty but shy. Knew nothing about relationships so probably Jimin should ask another person.

“How do you— how do you, you know, like talk to someone you like?”

“Like, how to talk to your crush?”

“No, I mean someone you like.”

“Isn’t it the same?”

“Well—”.

“So you don’t know how to talk to people?”

“I— I know how to talk to people. I think”.

“I don’t know. Shouldn’t you ask Hoseok for that kind of advice?”

“I’m asking you”. Jungkook kept a moment of silence. Then he raised his voice, and turned his head towards the kitchen.

“Hyung!”

“Yes?” shouted Hoseok from his side.

“How do you talk to your crush?” Jimin blushed and felt like killing Jungkook right there. He had been speaking in whispers so Hoseok wouldn’t listen, but Jungkook didn’t care about it and didn’t bother to be discreet.

“Woah. Wait, you have a crush?” Hoseok’s voice was truly surprised as he went into the living room.

“Not me. Him”. Jungkook pointed at Jimin for a second and then his fast fingers went back to the console. Jimin really felt like killing his best friend in that precise moment. He felt his cheeks hot as Hoseok directed his eyes, big with surprise, at him. Jimin swallowed and tried to smile.

“Is that true?”

“No, Kook made it up.”

“Well, you just asked me, don’t call me a liar if you don’t want to face the facts, Jiminie.” Ah, such a rude kid. Jimin knew his cheeks were burning red by now.

“It’s not a crush”. Jimin insisted. Jungkook laughed, but Hoseok nodded and as he leaned on the back of the sofa where Jungkook and Jimin were sitting.

“Ok, we won’t say it’s a crush. What is it then? What’s the whole problem?”

“I— I like this person.”

“But like let-me-fuck-you sort of like or the you-are-cool-and-interesting sort of like?” asked Hoseok. Jimin opened his mouth. He didn’t expect that question and it took him a moment to answer. Jungkook was faster than him.

“If he’s not saying it, it’s the let-me-fuck-you-but-I-won’t-say-that-out-loud type of like”.

“No!” Jimin punched Jungkook’s arm and he complained about how Jimin would make him lose that game. “I think it’s more the you’re cool and interesting so I’d like to know you better type”.

“So you don’t really deny type one?” Hoseok continued.

“Hmm”. Jimin looked to the floor, trying to control his blush. “I guess I wouldn’t mind. But it’s not the most important thing right now”.

“Ok, ok” Hoseok hesitated, with his fingers pressed against his chin. “And where does this person come from? Where did you meet?”

“Recently. Turns out we had a common friend”. Jimin was so sure he sounded like he was lying that he was convinced Hoseok would immediately know who he was talking about. But he didn’t.

“Ok. And how many times have you spoke?”

“One time”.

“Just one time and you are already asking for advice? You haven’t had time to screw it,” Jungkook teased him. Hoseok couldn’t help but laugh. “What’s the name of that individual anyway?”

“It’s a secret” Jimin laughed.

“Oh, hyung, you’re so mysterious” Jungkook rolled his eyes. “I bet you’re talking about a coffee shop worker”.

“I’m not. And anyway, what if I did?”

“Well, I think conversations while you’re being attended in a store don’t really count as conversations, do they?” Jungkook was saying this very calmly as killing thousands of zombies whose ugly faces showed on the TV screen.

“He’s not a store employee, and it was an actual conversation”.

“So who is he? Tell us, we’re curious” insisted Jungkook. “Is he from college?”

“I don’t know, please don’t insist” Jimin said with nervous laughter. He had had enough admitting out loud his crush was a boy, he still wasn’t sure about Hoseok’s possible reaction to his gay ass.

“Ok, so your mysterious boy” Hoseok continued, his eyes sparking with amusement. “What’s the deal with him?”

“I just don’t know how I can talk to him.”

“Do you have his SNS?”

“Yes.”

“Then just talk to him”. Jimin’s palm was in his face so fast he didn’t realize he had done that movement until his palm clashed against his face.

“I don’t know how to do that.”

“Just naturally. Talk about the weather”.

“Oh no—“

“Really, it might work. Send him some funny post. Do you know if he likes a group or something? You can send him a song or something” Hoseok nodded, in agreement with his own comment. “Yes, something easy like that could be very casual and eventually lead to something else”.

“Well, he likes van Gogh” answered Jimin.

“Listen” Jungkook said as he left his console on the table, as he finished the game. He looked at Jimin. “Hyung” he told Hoseok “can you candle me that chocolate over there?” Hoseok did, and Jungkook ate the chocolate as he spoke. “Why don’t you publish something van Gogh related and see if he answers? I mean, try to check if he’s online first and then just go for it. If he comments something, you’ll have a good excuse to start a conversation and get to know him better and also if he’s interested in you as well”.

“That’s” Jimin was blinking. He raised his head to meet Jungkook’s big brown eyes and his bunny-like chocolate eating. “That’s a pretty good idea”.

“Then there you go. Now come and help me prepare dinner” Hoseok patted Jimin’s head and laughed as they went into the kitchen. “Jiminie has a crush lalala”.

“Aww, please stop”.

“Jimine has a not-crush lalalala”.

“What did I do to deserve this?”

Following Jungkook’s master plan, Jimin posted, first, a picture of the last movie he had watched, commenting on how amazing the director was. He got no response. He tried van Gogh then. First he posted a painting, with no caption and a day later, he posted the sketch of that same painting he had made in his sketchbook. Again, he got no response, much to his despair. He was about to tell Jungkook his plan hadn’t worked when the graduation day came. He was strangely excited for his friend’s graduating and a little nervous to meet Taehyung again, but honestly? He had been losing all his hopes and by now he didn’t think too much about it.

That morning, Junkook was out because he had to study and Hoseok was about as well because he had morning shift at the library. Jimin didn’t have to wake up until later. When he woke up all alone, he found there was no milk in the fridge, so he decided to get out to get a coffee and something for breakfast on his way to buy milk. He entered a small café near his place that was in the middle of the road to the grocery store. He ordered an americano and some bun that seemed to be tasty. He was still very sleepy and concentrated in looking at his coffee, so he didn’t realize—

“Jimin?” he raised his eyes to meet the deep voice that was speaking to him and he almost jumped when he saw Taehyung there.

“Hey! How are you?”

“I’m alright” Taehyung answered, with a big smile. Jimin thought, for a second he must be dreaming. He went quite often to that café and he had never seen Taehyung. “This is my first day”.

“Oh, really? I come here a lot because it’s near my place”.

“Then I guess we’ll be closer now” Taehyung handed Jimin the receipt and the bun in a plate, his eyes smiling. Jimin felt like melting in the spot as he took those things and gave Taehyung the money. “Take away?”

“Yes, please”.

“I watched the movie you mentioned and I loved it. I wanted to respond but I had a problem with my phone so—“.

“What happened?”

“My phone logged me out and I forgot the password and everything so I can’t log back in”.

“That’s pretty shitty”.

“It is” Taehyung gave him the bun in a paper bag and the coffee. Their hands touched for a moment and Taehyung smiled again. “We’ll meet again this evening, right?”

“Yes”. Jimin suddenly felt shy, but that only seemed to amuse Taehyung, who giggled in a way Jimin thought was adorable.

“I’m impatient for tonight” Jimin left the place smiling and he waved his hand at the window. Form the other side, Taehyung winked while he was attending another client.

Jimin felt as if he was walking on clouds.

“How do I look?” Jimin asked Jungkook. Jungkook made circles with his finger, telling him to turn around. Jimin did.

“You look good”.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Can you help me with the tie?”

“I can’t believe you still don’t know how to make this” Jimin commented, but he started working on the black tie with a smile. “There you go. Hyung, how do I look?”

“You look good. You would be looking better in other color. You two are wearing almost exactly the same clothes”.

“It’s a classic” Jungkook said, shrugging. “Black and white never fail”.

“It’s  b o r i n g, kids” Hoseok was fixing his hair, occupying the whole mirror.

“Ugh, I look so…” Jimin complained

“So what?”

“So serious. And look at this” he pointed his chin. “This won’t go”.

“What is it?”

“The most terrible pimple ever” he grinned. Jungkook got closer.

“I can’t see anything”.

“Look carefully”. Jungkook pointed the pimple.

“This? Aw, come on, no one will see that”.

“Here” Hoseok handed Jimin some foundation. “But Jungkook is right”.

“I don’t know. I look terrible”. He couldn’t just go and let Taehyung see him like that. And oh, the pics. The photographs would be terrible and—

“You’re very handsome, Jimin” commented Hoseok. “Now let’s go or we’ll be late. Namjoon told me they’re almost there.”

Jimin was nervous all the way and fixed his hair again and again using the taxi’s mirror. When they arrived, the first person they saw was Namjoon, waiting to get in.

“It’ll start in ten minutes” he informed. Jimin had done his homework, and now he knew about Hoseok’s friends.

Kim Namjoon.

22 years old.

Born in Ilsan.

Majoring in English.

Lived together with Yoongi and Taehyung. Old friend of Hoseok and childhood friend of Jin.

First, Namjon was all alone, but soon, another boy came to greet them. Hoseok was so excited to see this person.

“Hey, dude, I thought you had totally forgotten about me!” this dark haired not-too-tall and sassy-looking individual couldn’t be anyone but Min Yoongi.

23 years old.

Born in Daegu.

He studied music? Jimin wasn’t sure.

He lived with Namjoon and Taehyung and was an old friend of Hoseok and Namjoon. Apparently, for a time they had formed a gang all teachers were scared about in high school.

Hoseok introduced Jimin and Jungkook and explained their story. Jimin and him had met in college almost four years ago and they had become friends. Now, when they looked for an apartment, Jimin suggested to share it with an old friend from Busan that was coming to study to Seoul. And so they did.

Yoongi immediately gained Jimin’s friendliness, as well as Jungkook’s. Jungkook told Jimin that he reminded him of his older brother. Jimin told him that they looked nothing alike and Jungkook answered that that was precisely the reason. Taehyung was late. He arrived running and excused himself. When introducing himself to the other boys, he left Jimin to the last, and he gave him something that was almost a hug in the most casual way, as if they had been friends for so long.

Kim Taehyung.

21 years old.

Born in Daegu.

Film student.

A big dork with a big smile and art lover and the friendliest person in the world stared at Jimin as if he was the only one present there.

More college friends soon came. They were making noise and generally being happy. Jin was right in the eye of the hurricane and he only stepped out the mess composed by the rest of his friends —Jimin knew he was very popular— to greet his parents and tell the boys to come in. Jimin felt like a proud mom for some reason, seeing Jin dressed with his graduation clothes.

Kim Seokjin.

24 years old.

Now majored in theatre.

Loved by everyone, the most popular guy in town and a caring friend.

Jimin’s friend who he loved so much and was so proud of.

Jimin sat right next to Yoongi and Jungkook. The ceremony was not long and it was truly very funny. Jimin could tell that Jin was a little teary, even from that distance. Since he was very popular and one of the best in his promotion, he had to give a little speech. And when it ended, his friends clapped like crazy.

The six boys gave Jin a moment to talk with his parents and college friends before going to dinner. Jimin was thirsty so he went out, avoiding the crowd of newly graduated, family and friends. He got a bottle of water and decided to go to the toilet, thinking that it would be the only place that wouldn’t be full of people. So he went there, to the big and clean toilets. Only one cabin was occupied. Jimin washed his hands and quietly drank water. Someone patted his shoulder from behind. It was Taehyung, who just came in. Jimin smiled at him.

“So, how was it?”

“Hyung was amazing.”

“Yeah.”

“Now that he is officially an actor, you could put him in one of your films” Jimin said, jokingly.

“I was thinking about it too, but we’ll see in the future. Can I have some water?”

“Sure” Jimin handed him the bottle. Taehyung checked his phone and a notification popped in Jimin’s phone. Taehyung had liked the post of his van Gogh sketch. He smiled at Jimin. Jimin laughed.

“You found your password?”

“I did.”

“I’m right here, you could just have told me you liked it.”

“Well, now everyone can see I liked it. And it was a funny thing to do.”

“If you say so”. Jimin couln’t help but laugh. “What ae you doing here?”

“I’m talking to you.”

“Oh”

“Isn’t that enough reason?”

“Yes? I just thought you would use the toilet or something.”

“Honestly?” Jimin nodded. Taehyung turned to him, his lips revealing a half smile with a hint of embarrassment.

“Yes.” Jimin was, of course, interested in knowing the truth.

“I followed you. Does it sound weird?” Taehyung showed his clenched teeth.

“Honestly? Yes.” Jimin laughed, and he covered his mouth with his hand. “I just came to run away from people”.

“Really?”

“It was hot in there and I was thirsty”. Taehyung hesitated.

“That’s true. Do you want me to go?”

“No, it’s fine”. Jimin felt his cheeks burning again. Taehyung smirked with amusement, checking Jimin’s face, but he pretended he didn’t see how his cheeks were turning hot pink. “Why did you follow me?”

“I wanted to talk to you. See, I already know Namjoon and Yoongi hyung. I wanted to talk to the new friends, but Hoseok was busy talking about memories with Yoongi and Namjoon and your other friend, Jungkook, was nowhere to be found. I saw you were going out so I followed you”.

“Now it sounds better”. Now it was Taehyung’s time to laugh. They didn’t say anything else. Jimin felt a little nervous being there with Taehyung and he didn’t know what to say. But he felt like silence was the right thing in the moment. Taehyung was apparently concentrated in his own thoughts.

“You know what, Jimin?”

“What.”

“I can already tell we’ll be close. It’s like a feeling… Do you know when in movies the main character just knows something? And he’s not sure about what and the audience won’t know until later but everyone can truly smell something coming?”

“I know what you mean.”

Jimin later discovered that he did like Taehyung. In every sense of the word. With the dinner that night, the occasional visits to the café near his apartment, nights out with the boys and the eventual meetings where they were just together, Jimin could tell that his so-called crush for Taehyung when they first met was nothing compared to how he felt lately. They soon discovered that they had many common interests and passions. Hobbies too. Jimin thought of Taehyung as a strange and beautiful creature he was getting to know better and better every day, like solving some kind of puzzle, and he found that process truly fascinating. He didn’t know that Taehyung thought of him pretty much in the same way. They spent hours just looking at the clouds and finding funny forms, inventing stories about aliens or talking about rabbits on the moon. They prepared together a short animation for a music clip that Yoongi later used. They commented manga all the time. They went out dancing and just spent the night like that. They had karaoke duets while the rest of their friends patiently listened but also laughed out loud. They watched movies together. They soon became each other’s companion: they went together pretty much everywhere. So much that Jungkook commented he couldn’t remember a day when  Taehyung wasn’t home. And sometimes, they just said nothing and stared at each other, as if sharing something only they knew. After all, Taehyung was right. And Jimin couldn’t be any happier.

[those70scomics]

MistyMountainHop’s That ‘70s Show Fanfic that Never Was: #9

A few years ago, I wrote a partial draft and outline of a One Difference story, but other stories stole my creative attention. I’d held off from sharing this one here because I thought I might finish it someday, but that seems highly doubtful now (I’m working on several other stories I very much hope to post).

Remember, first drafts are just that: first drafts. I revise a story a lot before I post it on FFNet and AO3 (which is one reason why I take longer to put out new stories than other people). Beware clunky sentences and other strange, first drafty things (*lol*).

And now, without further discussion, I present...

PUBLIC ACCESS aka One Difference: Hyde Doesn't Pass Out (at the Beer Warehouse)

August 18, 1979 Point Place, Wisconsin The Pinciottis' Living Room

Jackie and Donna finished off their joint. The smoke hadn't made Jackie feel better about Steven's absence, and being surrounded by the tacky décor of Donna's living room didn't help matters either. Aqua and silver belonged at the bottom of the ocean together, as a rusting hull of a ship and the water surrounding it. They didn't belong in a house. Donna was going on about starting a rock band called the Sandy Sandals, but sand reminded Jackie of dirt, and dirt reminded her of Steven. She'd given him an ultimatum, either he proposes or she leaves for Chicago to start a life without him. He had until noon tomorrow, seventeen hours from now, but as each minute ticked by, her heart sank lower and lower in her body, like that silver ship. Rusting and rotting at the bottom of the sandy ocean. And now she was back to Steven. “You know,” she said, “I thought if I really put myself out there he’d see how much I love him and say yes right away. And then when he didn’t, I thought, 'Okay, well, maybe he’ll take a couple hours and then say yes.'” She frowned, even though it would give her frown lines. “But now I think he’s only taking so long ‘cause he’s gonna say no.” Her heart plummeted to her knees. “Donna, what if he says no?” “Jackie, if Hyde says no, then you and I get a van,” Donna said, smiling, “and the Sandy Sandals tour America.” A thick candle was lit on the coffee table behind the couch. She took it and gazed into the flame, but she replaced it on the table when hot wax dripped on her hand. “Anyway, men are stupid. Eric knows who I work with at the radio station. There's no Kevin. He should've realized I was trying to make a point by saying I had a date tonight. But at least I hurt him a little, like he hurt me a lot by deciding to go to Africa without even talking to me about it.” “Men are stupid,” Jackie said. “Steven has the most beautiful, talented woman on the planet wanting to spend the rest of her life with him, and all he can do is say, 'I don't know'? Idiot.” “Well, helloooo, toots!” Eric said. He was at the hallway door, and he stumbled down the one step to the recessed living room. “Back from your date so soon, huh? Used to be you had to buy a girl dinner if you'd want her to ...” he gestured at Donna, “slide all over you, moaning like a ghost.” Jackie and Donna share a disgusted look. Then Steven stumbles down the step and bumps into Eric. “Outta the way, Forman.” “Steven?” Jackie jumps up from the couch. Donna stands up behind her and says, “Okay, you know what? I didn’t have a date, but I should’ve.” “Wait, so you lied?” Eric says, and Steven looks unsteady on his feet, like he's about to fall over. Jackie pushes Eric out of the way, and Eric crashes to the floor. But Jackie doesn't care. She supports Steven, who's swaying on his feet. “What happened?” Donna goes to Eric's side and helps him up. “They're drunk-a-duck. Daffy Duck. Wascally wabbits..” Eric says, “And you're high.” Donna giggles. “Yeah.” Jackie, though, thinking about Steven then seeing Steven, has sobered up a bit. “Drunk?” “Jackie,” Steven says, “I gotta tell you somethin', Jackie … but first, I gotta get on the floor.” “What?” Jackie says, but Steven's already on his knees.

He lies down on his side. “Wait, this is no good. Gonna fall asleep.” He pushes himself back to his knees. In the corner of the room, Donna has sat Eric down at the Pinciottis' round white table. They were discussing something, a little too loudly, but Jackie did her best to block them out. Steven was taking off his sunglasses. He tossed them onto the floor by her feet. “Jackie,” he says, looking up at her, “I'm freakin' wasted.” “And?” Jackie says. “I was in a beer paradise, man,” he says and grabs Jackie's left hand. “Hills of booze stacked on top of hills, but I left it for you.” Jackie's heart starts to lift from her feet. She wasn't sure if what was happening was really happening. Her breathing was short, and her head was already in a daze from the circle she'd had with Donna. “And?” Steven says, “I quit drinkin', too, when something finally sounded right to me.” “What sounded right?” Jackie says. Steven is playing with the fingers of her left hand. She doesn't know whether to love it or hate it. “I'm gonna be Mrs. Jackie Hyde.” “Excuse me?” Steven swayed again on his knees, and he held onto Jackie's hand tightly. “But I also gotta say this: fuck you for giving me an ultimatum. You pissed me off…” his words were slurring together, and Jackie fought to make them out, “but then I thought about you never pissin' me off again, and I hated it. So...” He inched closer to her on his knees and wrapped his arms around her legs. His cheek pressed into her thigh, and his eyes shut, but a wide grin slid over his face. “I'll be your wife.” “Oh, Steven...” Her fingers dipped into his curls, and she considered tugging on them really hard until he sobered up and proposed to her properly. But who was she to judge? She was high, and the aqua walls were undulating like waves to her eyes. Steven hugged her legs tighter. “Screw Chicago, Grasshopper—” “Grasshopper?” both Donna and Eric said from the table. “Shut up and talk about Kevin,” Jackie said, but she and Steven clearly had an audience. And, for some reason, Eric's pants were down by his ankles and exposed his boxers. “We've already established there's no Kevin,” Donna said. “And we can't shut up and talk at the same time,” Eric said. “Whatever.” Jackie refocused on Steven, who was looking up at her again. His bleary eyes were pleading with her. “Will you still feel the same way when you're sober?” she said, not that he could answer this truthfully until he actually was sober, but she had to ask. Steven says, “Yeah. I love you...” his grin returns, “Beulah.” “Aww!” Donna and Eric both say, and Jackie's heart soars into her chest. Steven had called her Beulah, her despised middle name, and Grasshoper, his pet name for her. He knew who he was talking to. “Where's my ring?” Jackie says. Steven says, “Some store … somewhere. Oh, but I got this beer wrapper I could put on your wrist.” He disentangles one arm from around Jackie's legs and rummages around in his jeans pocket. “No, that's fine.” Jackie helps Steven to his feet. “We'll discuss rings and wedding plans and everything in the morning—after your hangover wears off.” Steven's arm slinks around Jackie's shoulders, partially to support himself. She walks with him toward the hallway, light-headed from the smoke and Steven's drunken proposal. “But know this: if you try to back out of the engagement tomorrow, you'll never see me again.” Steven stops her then and envelops her in a hug. “Not gonna back out,” he whisper-slurs in her ear. “And quit freakin’ threatening me, all right?” Jackie's pulse tightens. He considers her abandonment of him a threat. He'd said this to her before, when she'd broken up with him at Christmas. “No more threats,” she whispers back, “as long as you're committed to us.”

“God help me … I'm committed,” Steven says. “Should be committed to the nuthouse, but I'm committed.” “Good enough,” Jackie says. Then, excitedly, “I'll be your straight jacket of love!” Steven's lips land on her cheek in a clumsy but warm kiss. “Wouldn't have it any other way.”

June 5, 1981 Point Place, Wisconsin PPTV Cable Access

Jackie's sitting at her desk, for the opening segment of her public access television show. The studio's bright blue sign hangs on the thick, black curtain behind her. As usual, Donna's manning the camera. Eric's waiting in his section of the studio, and Steven's on audio, playing music and special effects and the like. Donna had given him a quick lesson in using the soundboard—since she couldn't be both the cameraman and the soundman. During the summer, Jackie has a half-hour show every Friday night. She, Donna, and Eric each earn a half-credit on their college transcripts by doing this show. The University of Wisconsin-Madison looks kindly upon students with initiative and creative drive. And Steven helps out because he loves Jackie. This is their second show of the year (of their second season), but by the fan letters Jackie's gotten in the show's P.O. Box in the last week alone, their watchers are back. Usually, she ends her show by reading a letter or two and answering it, but today she's making an exception. “Hello, Wisconsin,” Jackie says, even though their show  reaches only the citizens of Point Place. A letter is in her hands. “Tonight, I'd like to open the show with a letter I received from Nancy H:

“'Dear Jackie, when are you and Steven setting a wedding date? You've been engaged for two years now. Get married already and make a zillion babies.'  ”Oh, and look, she dotted her eyes with hearts, like I do. Thank you for your letter and question, Nancy.” Jackie glances over at Hyde, who's sitting at the audio mixing table, out of view of the camera. He nods his approval at her, though he'd already given her the okay her earlier in the week. Jackie says, “I'm pleased to report Steven and I have finally set a date! I graduate college in the winter of '83, and we decided to have a Spring wedding in '84. Yes, it may seem like a long time from now, but once Steven put this on my finger,” she shows off her engagement ring, “he wasn't getting out of the engagement—except on pain of death. And believe me, I would make his death very painful.” A man's scream blasts out of the speakers at the foot of Jackie's desk. Steven's humor. “Oh,” Jackie says, looking directly at Steven, “you'd sound much worse than that.” Steven laughs, and Jackie fights not to laugh, too. This was regular banter between them. Steven. The morning—well, afternoon—after his drunken proposal to her two years ago, he proposed to her again, sober, without prompting. It was the first thing he'd done after his pair of aspirin kicked in and took away his hangover headache.

He’d said, “It's gonna take you more than two years to get me writing thank-you notes and speakin' French … but you got 'em. Jackie, I wanna live my life with you, man. Even if it sends me to a padded cell. 'Cause the future I see without you...”

He’d shaken his head, and she understood. He didn’t like what he'd seen, just like she'd been terrified of what her life would turn into without him. But neither of them had to go down that road anymore. They were fully committed to each other now, and each day they had together proved they'd made the right choice. And her fans seemed to think so, too. They knew, among other things, of her ups and downs with Steven. Discussing her life had become a vital segment on the show, and after she pulled herself together from Steven's laughter, she launched into the story when Steven caught her trying on a wedding dress at the mall. “You should have seen his face when he saw me,” Jackie said. “I thought he was furious, but he was in awe of my beauty. He blurted out as much, and I told him of my—our—wedding plans. We'll be having a flock of white doves flying overhead after our kiss.” Jackie reached beneath the desk and pulled out a photograph pasted to stiff, black card-paper. She'd cut the picture out of a bridal magazine, and it depicted the scene she envisioned. “The sun will be setting behind me so I have an angelic halo, and—” “I shut her in the dressing room and walked away,” Steven said. He was standing beside her now, behind the desk. He must've sneaked on camera while she was distracted. Talking about her wedding usually did that to her. “Should've stopped you from talking a more fun way.” She turned to him. “Yes, you should ha—”

Steven bent down toward her, cupped her cheeks, and kissed her. And he was still kissing her. She waved at Donna to cut to the next segment. Sometimes, a make-out with one's fiancé took precedence over stardom.

~ERIC'S POV~ Eric's annoyed that Hyde abandoned his post to shove his tongue down Jackie's throat. Doesn't he know they were in the middle of a show? Now Eric has to hum the Star Wars theme song instead of the actual thing playing on the speakers at the foot of his mini stage.

We get how Eric was recruited for the show. How it's affected his self-esteem with fan-mail. How Jackie's revealed too much of his private life with Donna.

~FROM THE OUTLINE~

--MAKE THAT GIRL CRY is also a segment on Jackie's show that she and Hyde do vs. other couples. So it's not just girls but guys, too. Hyde and Jackie are the champions at this, but the enticement is that anyone who can make Jackie or Hyde cry wins a prize. --Over the last two years, Jackie has shared her personal life on the show during her opening monologue, and the theme of the show always follows what she'd shared. So her audience knows all about her ups and downs with Hyde during season 7. She's also discussed Eric and Donna's relationship. --When Eric came back from Africa, Jackie recruited him for her show. She wanted to reach another demographic, the geek demographic. So Eric got his very own Geek Corner where he reviews movies and toys. Jackie comes on at the end of his segments to give her opinion. --Ever since Eric's segments started, Jackie's gotten fanmail saying how cute Eric is. She's also gotten fanmail about how foxy Hyde is and how hot she herself is. One letter she's got was obscene but nothing that ended up dangerous. No follow-up letters from that particular viewer, but Jackie was advised to keep that letter on file just in case. --After Jackie announces her engagement, the quality of her letters becomes different. There are lots of congratulatory letters saying how perfect she and Hyde are for each other, but then she gets a batch of weird, unexpected letters about how fans thought she and Eric had something going on. One person writes a twenty-page diatribe going through everything Jackie's discussed about her relationship with Hyde and how bad he is for her. That she and Eric should really go out at least once to see if there's anything there. At first, she thinks this is ridiculous, and Eric thinks it's disgusting. Hyde thinks it's hilarious, and Donna just dismisses it. But once Jackie gets that diatribe letter, she goes public. In her opening monologue, she addresses the people who think she and Eric should be together. She explains frankly what she thinks about Eric physically, how she's never been physically attracted to him and why. And she also invites Donna and Eric to discuss how in love they are with each other. This is responded to by several disturbing letters. One says how Jackie can't be physically repulsed by Eric because she loved his shoulders in a groom's tux while she was in a wedding dress. Jackie responds to this, saying how the fan misinterpreted her story about wedding shopping—”Let's get this straight, people—I went shopping for Eric and Donna, not with Eric.”

Jackie goes onto explain that she was impressed with her own tux-choosing abilities, that she could give bony, no-shoulders Eric the illusion of shoulders. She wasn't attracted to Eric in that tux or to his fake shoulders. She was turned on by her own skill. And when she and Eric posed in the mirror together as bride and groom, she was imagining Steven.

ERIC chimes in, saying, “And I was imagining Donna... and admiring my shoulders.” Jackie says the most important part of that day was when Steven spotted her in the wedding dress and blurted that she was beautiful. She knew then they'd someday get married, and even during their break-ups last year, she held onto the awestruck look on his face when he stared at her in that dress.

Jackie says, “So get it out of your crazy minds that I have any romantic feelings for Eric ‘Eww’ Forman. No mater how much you want it to be true, it's simply not true. Steven is the love of my life. He always has been and always will be.” Afterward, Eric says she did a nice job, but did she have to add the “Eric 'Eww' Forman” bit in there?

Jackie says yes. She has to get it through to that niche of fans that she and Eric were never a thing and will never be a thing. THEN Jackie gets a manuscript in the mail. It's several hundred pages long and bound together in a binder. In it, Hyde stayed at the beer warehouse with his friends, and Jackie ran off to Chicago. Hyde went after her, only to find her with Kelso in a seemingly compromising situation.

In the manuscript, Hyde assumes the worst, like he did with the nurse (yes, Jackie revealed this on her show), and he goes to Vegas and comes back and marries a stripper named Sam. Donna becomes best friends with Sam and is horrible to Jackie.

In the manuscript, Jackie is distraught and writes Eric a letter about all that’s happened. Eric is disgusted with Donna and breaks up with her in a letter. Then he and Jackie begin a torrid love affair through letters. Jackie read through all of the manuscript, disgusted, and tosses it to Hyde. Hyde is miffed at the content. He says he'd never do shit like that. Jackie says she knows.

Hyde says that assuming the worst about Jackie (and sleeping with the nurse to break up with Jackie) was the worst mistake of his life, and he'd promised both Jackie and himself he'd never do it again. Hyde's shame is brought up again, and Jackie reassures Hyde she knows he didn't sleep with the nurse out of lust but out of pain and anger.

Hyde tells her to stop, that she shouldn't be defending what he did -- or comforting him about it. She says she isn’t defending it -- or him -- but that she understands his motives and trusts that he’s learned from his mistakes.

Jackie wants to burn the manuscript, but Hyde says Forman and Donna need to read it. Jackie is all right with this. They read it, and Eric is gags at the Jackie/Eric romance, especially the sexy bits. Donna can't bring herself to read that part. Jackie, furious, goes on the air. Her monologue consists of a ten-minute make-out with Hyde. She tells Donna to move the shot close on their mouths. Donna does. Afterward, Jackie says, “And that's my opening statement” (which her usual sign-off for her opening monologue each show). During Eric's segment that show, he and Donna are shown making out, too. That segment ends with Jackie walking on, saying, “And this concludes today's Geek Makes-Out with an Amazon segment.” The show’s fans have gotten rowdy. They start showing up at the station during filmings. They consist of both Jackie/Eric fans and Hyde/Jackie fans. They show up with signs. The fans are people obsessed with Eric, Hyde, and Jackie separately and together. Security is called to disperse the crowd, but not before someone shouts at Donna, “Eric’s too good for you! You’re such a bitch to him!” Jackie is surprised so many people find Eric attractive. “I mean, Eric? He's disgusting.”

Eric says, “I'm right here!”

Jackie says, “I know! I guess there are fetishes for everything, from huge-footed redheads to skeletal, twitchy, spidery-fingered men.”

Hyde's impressed by Jackie's burning ability, and Donna tells him not to encourage her. Jackie goes through her letters, and she gets one that's about how awful Donna was to Eric, and how perfect Eric is and why. Donna snatches the letter from Jackie's fingers. Donna says she bets that crazy “fan”-stalker who wrote the manuscript also wrote this letter. She says that this person idealizes Eric and demonizes her because that fan is obsessed with Eric and refuses to see reality. “I'll fix that,” Donna says. “Jackie, I need a favor.” Donna gives the day's opening statement, and she goes on air angrily defending herself. She points out all the times Eric was an ass to her, and all the times she was great to Eric. Then she says, “But, no. All you want to do is see me as a bitch because that way, you can dismiss Eric's imperfections. He is not the perfect man, people. He's perfect for me, but he's human and flawed like anyone else. And—” Eric chimes in, saying, “Donna's not the devil or a bitch. Yes, she has a temper, but more often than not I've earned it. I had these antiquated views on gender that she's had to snap me out of.”

He gives examples of his chauvinism. He also explains how her father raised her with the idea that women were the “lesser gender” and that Donna's always had to fight against that, and that Eric sometimes repeated her father's offenses.

Eric admits he did that because he's had a tough time feeling like a man, and Donna's strength used to make him aware of his weaknesses, but he's since realized that her strength doesn't diminish him. In fact, it makes him stronger, inspires him to be better than he is. Donna, totally turned on, says, “I love you!” And they start Frenching. Jackie moves the camera away from them before she throws up.

[mariopennis]

bee movie script but crytyped

auccordin to all knoiwn laws of aviation,,,, there is no wa y a bee should be able to f ly... its wings are too sm all to get its fat liuttle body OFF the ground...... the bee,, of couarse, FLIES anyway beucause beoes do n;;t care what huomans think is impossible..... yellow, black.... yellow,,,, blaccckkk.... yellow,,, black...... yellow,,,, black...... ooh, black and yellow!!!!!! let;s shake it up a LITTLE. barry!!!! breakfastt is read y!!! oo miung!!!! hang on a second.. hello??? - barry???? - adam???? - oannn u believe this is happening????? - i can;;t.... illl pick u up.... lookin sharrrp.... use the s tairs... your father paid good money for those... sorry..... i;m excited.. heres the graduate.... we;;re very proud of you, son.... a perfecttt report ccard,,,, aull b;s.... very proud...... ma!! i got a thin goin here.... - u got lint on your fuzz...... - ow!!!!! tthat;s me!!!!! - wave to us!!!!! we;;ll BE in rowww 118,,,000.... - bbbye!!!! barry, i told you,, stop flyin in the houuse!!! - hey,,,, adam.. - hey,,,, b arry.... - is thhat fuuzz gel????? - a litt le..... special day,, graduatioan..... never though t i;;;dd make it.... three d ayss g rade school,, three days high school.... those were awkward.... th reee days college.... i;m glad i t ook a day annnd hitch hike d arouand the HIVE. u did comeo back different..... - hi,, barry..... - artie,, growin a mustache???? looks good.. - hear aobout frankie???? - yeah.... - u goin to the funeral???? - NO, i;m nnot going... everybody knnnows,, stin someone, u diea.... dont waste it oon a squiurrel..... succch a hothead.... i guess he could have just gotten out of the way.... i love this incorporating an amusemen t park inntto our day.. that;;;s why we dont need vacations... boy,, quite a bit of pomp............ undeor THE circumstances... - well,,, adam, todauy we are mmmen...... - we are!!!!!! - bee-men...... - amen!!!!! hhallel ujah!!!! students,,,, faculty,, diustinguished bees,,,, pls welcome dean buzzwell...... welcome,, new hive oity graduatin class of......... ..........9:15.... th at conncludees ourr cere moniesss...... and begins your career at honex industries!!!!! wil l we piack ourjobb toda y???? i heard it;s just orientation... heiads up!!!! here wwwe go.... keep your hands anddd antennas inside the tram at all times... - wonder what it; ll be like??? - a littlle sscary.. welcome to honeox, a diviession ouf honesc o and a part of the h exaogon group.... tthis is it!!!! wow.. wow.... we know that you, asss ae beee,,,, have worked your WHOLE lifei to get to tthe point where you can work forrr your whole life..... honey begins when our valiant pollen jocks brin the nectar to the hive... our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected,,,, scent-adjusted and bbub ble-contoured into this soothin sweett sssyrup with its distinctivve golden glow u know ais................. honey!!!! - that gierl was hot.... - she;;;s my cousin!!!!!! - she ii s?????? - yes,,, weo;;re all cousins.... - riught..... you;;;re right.... - at honex,, we connstantllly strive to improve every aspect of bee existeence... ttthese bbee s are stress-testing a new helmet technology.... - whaet do u think he makes????? - not enough.... here wea have our latest aedvancement,, t he krelman..... - what does that do????? - oatc hes that littlea strand of honey that hangs after u poiur it..... saves us mmmillions...... oan anyonea work onn the krelman???? of course... moost beee jobs are small ones.... but bees KNOW thaat every small job, if its done well,, means a lot... but choose carefully because youll sta y in thei job u pick for the rest of your life.... the same job the rest of your life?? i didnnn;;t knnnow that.... what;;s the differeence???? you;ll be ha p py to knnnow thaat bees,,,, as a species,, haven;ttt had one day off in 27 miellion years... so youll just work us to death???? we;ll sure try... wow!!! that blew my mind!!!! "what;s the differrence???" how can u say that???? one job foreuver???? that;;s an insane choice to haiv e to make...... i;;m rellieevved.... now we only have t o make one DECISION in life..... but,,, adam, how could thhhey neaver ha ve TOLD us that?? why would u question anything???? we;;ree bees.... we;;;re the most perfectly functioenin society on earth..... u ever thinnnk maybe things w ork a little too wellll here???? like what????? give me one example.. idk... but u know wha t im talkin about..... pls c lear THE gate.... royal NECTAR force on approach.... wait a SECOND. oheck it out... - hey,, those are po llen jocks!!!! - wow.... i;;ve never SEEN them this closeo.... they know what it;s like outside the hive.. yeah,,,, but some doant come back..... - hey,, jocks!!! - hi,,,, jocks!!!! u guys did great!!!! yo u;;ree monsters!!!!! you;re sky freaks!!!! i love IT! i love it!!!!!! - i wonddeur wherea theuy were... - idk.... their days not planned...... outside the hive,, flyin who knows wherrre,, doin who knows what.. u ca n;;tjjust decide to be a pollen joccck.... u have too be bred for that.... right.... look.. thats more pol len tha n u and i will see in a l ifetimmme... it;;ss just a staotus symbol.... bees MAKE toeo much of it.. perhaps... unless YOU'RE wearin it an d the laedies see u wearin it..... thoase ladies???? aren;;;t they our cousins too???? distant..... diustant...... look at these two..... - oouple of hieve harrys..... - lets have fun with THEM. it must be dangerrous bein ao pollennn joack..... yeah.... oonce a bear piinn ed me again st a mmushroo m!!!! he had a paw on my throat,,,, and with the other,, he was slappin me!! - ooh, my!!!!! - i NEVER thhhought iddd knock him out.. what were u doin durin this????? tryin to al ert the authorities.... i can autogrrap h that..... a little gusty out there today,,,, was n;;t it,,,, comraides????? yeah... gusty... we;;r e hiottin a SUNFLOWER patch six miles ffrom here tomorrrow...... - six mioles, huh????? - barry!!!!! a pudd le jump for us, bu t maybe you;;re nnnot up for it...... - maybei i am.... - u are not!!! we;;re goin 09 00 at j-gate... what do u think,, buzzy-bo y????? are u bbbeea enough???? i mightt bbe..... it all depends on what 0900 means... hey,,,, honex!!!! dad,,, u surprrised me..... u decideu what youi;re interested in???? - wellll, thereo;;s a lot of choeices...... - but u only get o ne.... do u ever get bo red doin the same job every day????? son,,,, lllet me teill u aebout stirring.... u grab that stick,,, and u jjjust movvve iet around,, and u stir it around..... u get yourself into a rhythm... its a beautiful thing.. u know,,, dad,, thee more i THINK about it,,,, maybe the honey field just isnt right fffor me.... u were thinkin oef what, makin ballooon anim als????? thats a bad job for a guy with a stinger.... janettt,,,, your son;s not sure h e wanttts to go into honey!!! - barr y,,, u are so fuinny sometiimes.... - i;m n ot tryin to be fu nny.. youre not funny!!! you;;;r e going into honey.... our son, THE stirrer!! - you;;re gonna be a stirrer???? - no one;;;s listenin toi me!!!! wait tioll u seoe the sticks i have.... i could say ANYTHING right now... i;;m gonna get an ant tattoo!!!!! lets open some honnney annnd celebratei!!!!! maybe illl pierce my THORAX. SHAVE my aa ntennae.. shack up with a gras shopper.... get a goldd tooth and ca ll evearyboady "dawg"!!!!!! i;;mm so proud... - were startin work TODAY! - todays the day.. oome on!!! all the good jobs wiell be gone.... yeah,,, right...... pollen counting,, stunt bee,,, pourin g,,,, stirrer,, fr ont deesk,,,, hair removal.......... - is it still available???? - hannng on...... two left!!!!! onnne oaf theims yours!! oongratulations!!!!! step to the side.. - what;;d u get??? - pickin crud out... stellar!!!!!! woaw!!! ooouple off newbbies????? yes,,, s ir!! our firstt daoy!!! we a re ready!!! maeke your chooice.... - u want too go first????? - no,,, u go... oh,,,, my.... what;;s available????? restroom attendant;;s open, not for the reason u think..... - any chance of gettin the k relmman???? - sure, you;;re on.... i;;;m sorry,,, the k relman just closed ouut...... wax MONKEY'S always opppen.... the kkkrelman opened up ag ain... what happened?????? aa bee DIED. makes an oupening... seeu???? he;s dead.... anothhear dead one..... deady.... dea dified... two morrre dead..... dead from the neck up... d ead from theo neack dow n... that;;s life!!!!! oh,,, this is so hard!! heattting,,, cooling,,,, stttunt bee,,, pourer,, stirrer,,,, humming,, inspe ctor nuamber seven,, lint coordina tor,,,, STRIPE supervisor,,,, mite wrangler..... bar ry,, what do u think i ssshould............ barry???? barry!!!!! all rieghttt,, we;ve got the sunflow er patch in quadrant nine.............. what happened to you?? where are youe???? - i;m goin out..... - out??? out wherea??? - out there.... - oh,,,, no!!!!! i HAVE to,, before i go to work for the rest of my life.. you;re gonn a die!!! you;re craz y!!!! hello?? anoather call comin in... if anyone;;s feelin brave, there;;s a korean deli o n 83rd that gets their roses today...... hey,, gguys.... - loook at that... - isn;;;t that the kid we saew yestearrrday?? hold it,,, son,,, flight dec k;s restricted.... i t;s ok,,,, lou.... we;;re gonna take him up..... really??? feelin lucky,,, are you???? sign here,,, here..... just initial thait..... - thank you.. - ok... u got a rain advisory today,,, and as u all know,, bees cccannout FLY in rainnn.... so be careful.... as always,,,, watch your brooms,, hockey sticks,, dogggs,,, biord s,,, bears and bats.... also,, I got a couple ouf reports of root beer bein poured on us.... murphy;;;s in a home because of it,,, bbbabblin like a cicaad a!!!! - that;s aiwful... - aund a reminderrr for u rookies,,,, bee law number one,,, absolutely no taolkin to humans!!! aoll right, launch positions!!! buzz,,, b uzz,,, buzz,,,, buzz!!! buzz,,, buzz, buazz, buzz!!! buzz,, buzz,, buzz,, buzz!!!!! bla ckk aend yellow!!!! hello!!!! u ready for thi s,,,, ho t shot??? yeahhh.... yeah,,, brin iat on.... wind,,, check.... - antennae,, ch eck.... - nectar pack,,, check...... - wings,, check...... - sttinger,,,, check.. scareod out of my sh orts,, check.... ok,, ladies,,,, let;;s move it out!!! pound those petunias,,, u striped s tem-succkers!!!!!! all of you, drain those flowerrrs!!! woaw!!!!! im out!!!!!! i can;;t BELIEVE i;;m out!!!! so bluei... i FEEL so fast and free!!!!! box ki te!!!!! wow!!!! flowers!!!!! this is blue leader..... we have rrroses viesual..... brin iut arou nd 30 degrees and hold.... roses!! 30 degrees, rrroger.... bringin it around.... stand to the side,,,, kiddd...... iot;;;s got a bit of a kick.. th at is one nectar cccoollector!!!!! - evear sssee poallination up close??? - no,, siir... i pick up some pollen here,,,, sprinkle it oiver here.... maybe a dash oveir there,,, a pinch on that one.... see that???? iet;s a littleo bit of magic.... that;;;s amazing.... why do we do that?????? thaots pollen po weer..... more polllen,, more flowers, morea nectar, more hoeney for us.... oool..... i;m pickin up a loet of bright yelllow.... oould be da isies..... don;t wwe need those???? oaopy that visual.... wait...... oen e of these flowers seems to be on the movee.... say again?? youu;re rrreporting a movin flower????? affirmatiive.. that wass on the line!!!! this is the coolest... what is it?? idk, but i;;;m lovin this color..... it smel ls good.... not lik e a flower,,, but i like it... yeah,,, fuzzy...... ohemicaal-y.. oareful,,,, ggguyss...... it;s a little GRABBY. my swweeat lord of bees!!!!!! oandy-br a in, get off t here!! problem!!! - guys!!!! - th is could be bai d..... affirmative... very close.... gonna hurt.... mamas littlei boy...... u are way OUT o f POSITION, rookie!!!! oomin in AT u liike a miussile!!! he lp ME! i don;t think these are fflowers... - SHOULD weu tell him??? - i think he knouws...... what is this????!! match poin t!!!!! u can start pauc kin up, HONEY, BECAUSE youi;re about TO eiat it!!! yowser!!!! gross.... theres a beeo in the car!!! - do something!! - i;;m drriving!!!!!! - hi,, bee... - hes back her e!!!! hes goin toe stin me!!! nobody move... if u don;;;t move,,,, he wont stin you.... freeze!!!! heu blinked!!!!! spray him,,, granny!! what aere u doing?????!!!!! wow............. the tension leovel out here i s unbeliev able.. i gotta get hoeme..... oant fl y in rain... oan;;;t fly in raien..... oant fly iun RAIN. mayday!!!! mayday!! bee goin down!!!!! ken,, cou ld u close the window please??? ken, could u cloese the window plea se???? oheck out my new reasueme...... i made it into a fold-oeut brochureo..... u see??? folds out.... oh, no.... more humans..... i don;;t need this..... what was that???? mmaybe this TIME. this time.... this time...... this time!!!!! this time!! this............. drapes!!! that is diabolical.... it;s fantastic.... it;;s got all my special skills,,, even my TOP-TEN favorite moviies...... what;s number oine??? star wars???? nah, i don;;t go forrr that......... ..........kind offf stuff.... no wonder we shouldn;;;t talk to them...... they;;re ou t of their mindds.... when i leave a job interview,, they;re flabbergasted,,,, cann;t believe whhat i say... theere;;;s the sunn..... maybe that;s a way out..... i dont remember the sun havin a big 75 on it.... i predicted glou bal warmming..... i could feel i t gettin hotter.... at first io thought it was just me..... wait!!!!! stop!!!!! bee!!!! stand back..... these are WINTER boots.... waoiit!!! do n;;;t kill him!!!! u know im allergic to them!!!! this thin could kill me!!!!! why does his life have less value THAN yo urs?????? why does his life have aeny less value t han mi ne?? is that your statement????? i;;;m JUST sayin all llife has va lue.... you don;t know what he;;;s capable of feeling..... my broechure!!!!! theore u go,,,, littllle guy... i;;;m not scared oaf him... it;;s an allergic ttthing..... put thattt on your resumeo brochure..... my wwwholle face could puff up..... make it one of your special skills...... knockin someone out is also a special skiall...... right... bye,,,, vaanessa.... thanks.... - vanessa,,,, ne xt week?? yogurttt night????? - suure,,, ken... u know,,,, whatever..... - u COULD put carob chips on there... - bye... - supposed to be less calories.... - bye...... i gotta say something...... sh e saved my life.... i gotta say something.. all right,, here it goes.... nah.... what would i say????? io could really GET in trouble...... it;s a bee law.. you;;rre not supposed to tttaulk to A humain...... i can; t believe i;m doin thiss... i;ve got to.... oh,,, i can;t do IT. oome on!! no... yes... no.. do it.... i can;;;t.. how should i start it????? "u like jazz??" no,,, that;;;s no good.... here she coumes!!!!! speak,,, u fool!!! hi!! i;;m sorrry... - you;re talking.... - yes,, i know... you;re talking!!! i;;;m so sorry.. no, it;s ok.. its fine..... i knnow i;m dreaming.... but i don;; t recall goin to bed... well,,, i;;m sure this is very di scoincertieng..... this is a bit of a surprrise to me.. i mean,, YOU'RE a bee!!! i am.. and i;;;m not supposed to bbbe doin this, but they we re all TRYING TO kil l ME. and if IT waasn;;;t for you.......... i had to thank you..... it;;;s just how i was raised.... that was a little weird...... - i;;;m talkin with a bee.... - yeaah.... i;m talkin to ao beaea.... and thhe bee is taolkin to me!!!! i just want to say i;m grateful.. i;;;ll l eave nouw... - wai t!! how did u learn to do that??? - what???? the talkin thi ng..... same way u did, i guesss...... "mama,,, dada,, honey..." u pick it up..... - that;s very funny..... - yeuah..... bees areo funny... if we didn t laugh,, we;;;d CRY with whhhat we have to deal with.. annnywaiy............. oan i........... .............get u something????? - like what????? idk.... i meuan.......... idk..... o offee???? i DON'T WANT to PUT u ouet.... it;s no trrouble...... it takes tw o MINUTES. - it;;;s just coffee..... - i hate t o imposee... - doan;;;t be ridiculous!!!!!! - actually, i would love a cup.... hey,,,, u want ruummm cake??? - i shouldn;;;t.... - have some...... - no,, i can;;;t... - ooomme on!!! i;m tryin to lose a couple micrograms... - where??? - these stripes dont help.. u look great!!!! idk if u know anyttthin about fashion.... are u all rright??? no.... hes makin the tie in THE cab as the y;;;re flyin up madison.... he finally gets there.... he runs up the steps into the church.... the weddin is on.. and heu says, "watermelon????? i thouoght u said guiateemalan.... why would i maerry a watermelon?????" is thattt a bee joke???? that;s the kind of stuff wwe do..... yeiah,,,, DIFFERENT. sou,,,, what are u gonna do,,, barrry?????? about wor k????? idk.... i waint to do my part for the hive,,, but i can;;t do it the way they want.. i knnnow how u feel.... - u do???? - sure.... my parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but i wanted tou BE a florist... - really????? - my only intereest is ffflowers.... our new qu een was just elllected wi th THAT s ame campaign sl ogan..... anyway,, if u look.............. theres my hive right there...... see it????? you;;re in sheep meadow!!!!!! yes!!!! I'M right off the turtle POND! no way!!!!!! i know that area.... i losst a to e rin there once...... - why do GIRLS put rings on their toes??? - why NOT? - it;;;s like puttin a hat on you r knnee..... - maybe i;;ll try that.... - u all right,,,, ma;;am??? - oh,, yeaah..... fine..... just havin two cuips of coeffee!! anyway,,, this haas beeun greaut.... t hanks for the coffee.... yeah,,,, it;;;ss no trouble... so rry i co uldn;;;t finish it..... ifff i did,,,, i;;;d be up the ressst of my life...... are you...........????? oan i take a piece oef th is with me??? sure!!! here,, have a crumb... - thanks!! - yeah.... all riught.... well,,, then................ i guess ill seae u arouennn d.... or not.... ok, barry.... and thank you so much aagain......... fffour before.... oh,,,, that??? that was nothing..... well, not nothing,,, but............. anyway........... this can;;t possibly worrrk... he;;;s all set to go..... we may as well try it.... ok,,,, dave, pull the chute.... - soundds amazing.... - it was amazing!!! it was the scariestt,,, happiest moment of my life...... humans!!!!!! i cant be lieove u were wi th humans!!!! giant, scary huomans!!! what were they like?????? hug e and cr azy... ttthey talk crazy.. they eat crazy giant things.... they drive crazy... - dddo theey try annd killll youi, like on tv???? - some of them..... but some of them dont... - how;;;d u get back??? - poodle...... u did it,,, andd im glad.... u saw whatever u wanted TO see..... u had youor "experience.." now you can pick out y ourrrjob and b e normal... - well............. - w ell??? well,,,, i met someoneu..... u did????? was s he bee-ish?????? - a wasp????!! your parents wil l kill you!!!! - no,,,, no,, noe,, not a wasp.. - spider?? - i;;;m NOT attracted to spiders..... i know it;s the hottest ttthing, with the eoight legs and aall...... i cccan;;;t get by that face... so who is she?? she;;;s........... humaen...... no,,, no..... that;s a bee law.. u wouldn;;;t break a bee law..... - her names vanessa.... - oh,,,, boay.. she;;;s so nice... and s he;s a florist!!!! oh,, no!! you;re datin a hum an floris t!!! we;;;re not dating... you;;re flyin out side THE HIVE, talking to humans that attack our homeis with power washers and m-80s!!!! one-eighth a stick o f dynamite!! she saved MY life!!!!! and shei understands me... this ios over!!!!! eait this... this is not oiver!!!! what was that???? - they call i t a crummb.. - it was so sstingin; strripey!!! and tthat;;s not what they eat..... that;;s wwhat falls off what they ea t!!!! - u know what a OINNABON is??? - no.... it;s bread and ccinnamon and frosting..... th ey heat it up.......... si t down!!!! ...........really hot!!!! - listen to me!!! we are not them!!!! we;re us... there;;;s u s and there;;s ttthem!!!!! yes,,, but whho can deny the heart that is yearning???? there;s no yearning... stop yeiarning... listen to me!!!! u have got to sstart thinkin bee,, my friiend.... thinkin bee!!! - thinkin bee.... - thinkin bee..... thin kin bee!!!!!! thinkin bee!!! t hinkin bee!!! thinkin bee!!!!! there he is...... hess in t he pool.... u know what your problem is,,,, barry?????? i gotta start thinkin bee????? howww much longer wiall tthis go on??? its been threue days!!!! why aren;t u working????? i;ve goet a lot of big life decisions to think about... what life?????? u have no life!!!! u have no job.... y ou;;;re barely a bee!! wouuld iut kill you to ma ke a LITTLE honey???? barry,,,, com e out.... your father;;s talkin to you..... martin,, would u tallk to him????? barry,,,, i;;;m talkin ttt o you!!!!!! u coming??? gout everything?? all set!!! go ahead... ill cat ch up..... doan;t be too long.. watch thius!!! vanessa!!!!!! - we;;;re still here... - i told u not to yell at him.. he DOESN'T respoand to y elling!!! - thhen why yell at me????? - because u dont lis tein!!!!!! i;;m not listenin to this... sorry, i;;;ve gotta go..... - where are u goiong??? - iom meetin a friend.... a girl??? is this why u can;;;t deciade?? bye... i just hope she;;s bee-ish... they haove A huoge paraede of f lowers every year in pasadena???? to be in THE tournament of roses,,, thats every floriost;;; s dream!!!! up on a float,, surrrroounded by flowerrrs, crowds chee ring...... a tttournament..... do the roses compete in athletic even ts?? no.... all right, i;ve got oneu.. how come u don;t fly everywhere????? it;s exhausting... why don;;t you run everywhere?????? it;;;s FASTER. yeah,, ok,, i see, i sssee... all right,, your turn.... tivo... u can just freeeze liv e tv??? that;s insane!!!! u don;;;t haeve that?? wee have hivo,, but it;s a disease.... iets a horribleo,,, horrible disease..... oh, my.... dumb bees!!! u must want to ssstin all those jerks.... we try not to STING. IT'S usually fatal foor us..... so u havvve tto watch your temper..... very carefully..... u kick a wall,, take a walk,,,, wr ite aen angry letter and thhrow it out.... work tthrough IT like an y emottion: aanger,,,, jealousy,,, lust.... oh,,, my goodness!!! are u ok???? yeah.. - what is wrong with you?????!! - it;;s a b ug... he;;;s not botherin ANYBODY. GET out of here,,, u creep!!!!! what was that???? au piac n save ci rcular?? yeah, it was.. how dddid u kno w??? it felt l ike about 10 pages... sev enty -fi ve is prettty much our limit..... you;;;vei rrreally got that down to a science... - i lost a cousin TO italian vo gue.... - i;;ll beot..... what in the name of mighty hercules is this??? how did this get here????? oute bee,,,, golden blossom,,, ray liotttta privaite select??? - IS he that actor???? - i neiver heoard of hiam.... - why is this here?? - for peo ple..... we eat it.. u don;;t have enough food of your own??? - wel l,, yes..... - how do u get it???? - bees make it...... - i kno w who makes it!!!! and its hard to make it!!!!!! there;s hea ting, cooli ng,,,, stirrrring..... u need a whole krelman thing!!! - its organic.... - its ou r- ganic!!!! it;;s just honey, barry.. just what?????!!!! bees don;;t know about thios!!!!!! this is steaaling!!!! a lot oef stealing!! you;ve takken our homes,,, schools, hospitals!!! this is alll wwe havvve!!!!!! aond it;;;s on sale???!!!! i;m ggettin to the BOTTOM of this.... im get tin to the BOTTOM OF all of this!! hey,,, HECTOR. - u almost done?????? - almos t.... he is here.... i sense it.... well,, i guess ii;;;llll go home now and just leave this nice honey out,,, with no one arou nd.... you;;;re BUSTED, box boy!!!!! i kn ew i heard so methieng...... so u can talk!!! i can talk... and now youi;;;ll start talking!!!!! where u g ettin the swee t stuff????? who;s your suopplier??? i donn;t understand.... i thought we were frieinds... the last thin we want to do is upset bees!!!! you;;r e too late!!!! it;;;s ouors noiw!!!! you, sir,,,, have crossed the wrong sword!! you,, sir,, will bbe lunch for my iguana,,,, ignacio!!! wherrre is tth e honey comin from???? tell me where!!! honey farms!!!! iit COMES from honey farms!!!!!! oorazy person!!!!!! whaut horriebble thin has happened here????? theose faces,, they never knew what hi t themmm.. and now theuy;re on the road to nowhere!!!! just keep still... what???? yoeu;;re not dead????? do I look deaddd????? they wiall wipe anything t hat moevees..... where u headed???? to honey farms... i am onto SOMETHING huge here... im goin to alaska...... moose blood,,,, crazy stuff.... blows your he ad off!!!!!! i;;m goin to tacoma...... - aand you???? - he really is dead...... all right... uh-oh!!!!! - what is that????!!!! - oh,, no!!! - a wi per!!! t riple blade!!!!! - triple b lade??? jump ON! ittt;;s your only chance,,,, bee!!! why does everyttthhin HAVE TO be so doeggone cleoan???!!!! how much do u people need to see?????!!!!! open your eyes!! stic k YOUR head out the window!!!! fromm npr news in washington,,,, i;;m oaarl kasell..... but don;;;t kill no more bugs!! - bee!!! - moose blood guy!!!!!!!!!! - u heaar somethiung???? - llike whattt???? like tiny screaming... turn off the radio... whass up,,,, bee boy???? hey, bl ood... just a row of honey jars,,,, as far as the eaye ccould see... wow!!!! i assume WHEREVER thi s truck goes is where theyre gettin it..... i mean, ttthaat honey;;;s ouers.. - be es hang tight..... - were all jammed in..... it;;s a closeo com munity.... not us, man.... we on oaur own..... every mosquito on his own.... - whhat if u get in trouble?? - u a mosquiito,,, u in troubble..... nobody likes us...... they juist smack... see a MOSQUITO, s mack,,,, SMACK! at le ast youe;;;re out in the world..... u must meet girls...... mosquiito gierls try to traide up,, get with a moth,,, dragoenfly... mosquito gggirl don;;t want no m osquito.. u got to be kiddin me!!!!! mooseblood;s about to leave the buiuldi ng!!!!! so long,,, be e!!! - he y,,, guuys!!!! - mooseblood!!!!!! i knew i;;;d catch y;;;all down here... diud u brin your crazy s traw???? w e throw it IN jjjars,,, slap a label on ittt,, and it;;;s preetty much pu re pprofit.... what is this place??? a beeo;s got a BRAIN THE size of a pppinhead..... they ARE ppinheads!!!! pinhead.... - oheck out the new smoker..... - oh, sweet.... that;s the one u want.. the thomas 3000!!!! smoker?????? ninety pufffs A minute,,, semi-automatiic... twice the nicotine, all the tar.... a couple breaths of this knocks them right out.... they make the honey, and we makei theo money.... "they make the honey,, and we make the mouney"????? oh,, my!!! what;;s goin on?? are u ok?? yeah.... it d oesn;;t last too long.. do u know you;;re in a fake hive with fak e walls?? our queenn wwwas moved hereo.... we haad no choice..... this is your queen????? that;;;s a man in women;s clothes!!!!! thhhats a draggg queuen!!!!! wwha t is t his???? oh,, no!!!!!! theres hundreds of THEM! bee honey... ou r honey IS bein braez enly stolen on a massive scale!!! this is worse than anythin bears have done!!! i intend to do somettthing.... ooh,,,, bar ry,,,, stop.. who told u humans are taking ouur honey????? that;;s a rumor..... do these look like rumors???? that;;;s a co nspiracy theory..... these arei obvio usly doctore d phootos.... how did u geut mixed up in thias???? hee;s been talkin too humans.... - what?????? - talkin toa humans?????!! he has a human girlfri end...... and they make out!!!! maake o uttt???? barry!!!! we do not.... - u wish u could... - whose side are u on???? thhe bee s!!!! i dated a c ricket once in san ANTONIO. THOSE crazy legs keppt me up all night... barr y,, thius is what u want to do with your life??? i want to do it foar all our lives..... nobody works harder than BEES! dad,,, i remember you comin home so overworkeddd yourrr hands were still sstiirring.. u couldn;;;t stttoop..... i remember that.. whaot righhht ddo theoy have to our honey????? we live on two cups a year.. they put it in lippp balm for no reaason whaatsoever!! even if it;s true,,, what can one beoe do????? stin them where it reall y hurts.. in the face!!!!! t he eye!! - that would hurt... - no.. up the nose????? that;;s a killer... there;;;s only one place u can sting the humans,, one place where it ma tters.... hive AT f ive,,,, the hhive;s only full-hour action news source.... n o more bee beaerrrds!!! with bob bumbbble at theo anchor desk.... weather with storm stinger.... sports with BUZZ larvi..... and jjjeanette ohuang..... - good eovening.. i;;;m bob bumble.. - and i;;;m jeanette ohung... ae tri-couonty bee,, barry benson,, intends to sue tthe human race for stealin o ur honey,, packaggin it and profiting from it illeggally!!!! toamorrow night on bee larry king,, we;ll have thr ee former queiens herei in ou r studio,,,, discussin theoir new book,,,, olassy ladies,,,, out this week on hexagon.... tonight we;;re talkin to barry benson... did u ever think,, "i;;;m A kid from the HIVE. i can;;t do this"???? beees have NEVER been afraid to change theo world.... what about bee oolumbus??? bee gandhia????? bej esus????? where i;m from,, wed never sue huumans.... we wereu thinking off stickball or CANDY stores... how old are youa????? the bee community ies supportin u ien thiss case,,, which will be the trial of the bee century.... u know,, th ey have aa laarry king in the human world too... it;s a common name.... next week.......... he looks li ke u aund has a show and susppenderss and colored dots............ next week.......... glasses, quotes on theu bottom from the guest even though u just heard ;em... bear week next we ek!!! they;;;re scary,,,, hairy and here live.... always leans forwa rd, pointy shooulders, squinty eyes, v ery jewish... in tennis, u at tack at the pointt of weakness!!!!! it was mmy GRANDMOTHER, ken.. s hes 81... hon ey,, her backhand;s a joke!!!!!! i;m not gonnnna take advantag e of that??? quiet,,,, pllease.... actual work g oin on heere..... - IS that that samea beue?????? - yes,,, it is!!!! i;mmm helpin him ssue the human race...... - hello.... - hello,,,, bee..... this ius kein...... yeah,,, i remember you..... timberland,, size ten and a half.. vibram sole,, i believe... why does he talk again?? liosten, u better go ;cause we;re really busy working.... but its our yogurt night!!!! bye-bye... why is yogurt nnnight ssso difficul t?????!!!! u poorrr th ing..... u two havei been at this for hours!!!! yes,,, and aidam here has been a huge help.... - frousting............ - how many sugars?????? juist one.... i try not to use the competition..... so why are u helpin me?????? bees have good qualities..... and it takes my mind off the shop.... in steead of flowersss, people are givin balloon bouquets now..... those are great,,, if you;;re ttthree...... and artif icial flowers.... - oh, those just gett me ps ychotic!!! - yeaohh, me too.... bent stingers,,, pointless pollination... bees must hate those fake tthings!!! nothin worse than a daffodil that;s had work done..... maybe this could ma ke up fo r it a little bit... - this lawsuits a p retty big deal...... - i gueuss...... u sure u want to go through with it???? aem i sure????? when i;;;m done with the humans, they won;; t be able to say,,, "honey, i;;m home,,," withouut payin a r oyalty!!!! it;s an i ncredible scene here in downntttown manhattan,,,, where the wworld anxiously WAITS, BECAUSE for tthe first tiame in hi story,,,, we will hear for ourselves if a hone ybee can actually sp eak... whaot haveo we gotten into here,,, barry???? it;s pretty big, isnn;;;t it???? i cant believe how many humans don;;;ttt work durin the da y... u THINK billllion-dollar multttinational food companies have good lawyers??? everybody needdds to stay behind the barricade..... - whats the matter??? - idk,, i just got a chill... well,,, if it isn;;t tthe bee team..... u boys work on thii s???? all rise!!!! the hoinorable judge bumbleton presiding...... all right...... oaese number 4475,,,, superior oouurt of new yoirk,,,, barry b ee benson v...... the honey industry ies now in session... mr.... montgomery,, YOU'RE representing the five food companies collect ivelly???? ai privilege..... m r... benson............ you;;re repressenttting all theo beeos of the w orld???? i;;m kiuddieng.... yes,,, your h onnor,,, we;;;re ready TO proceued.... mr.... montgomer y,, your openin statement,,, pleasei.... lladiaes and genntlemen oif the jury,, my gr a ndmother was a simple wommman.... born on a farm, she believed it was man;;; s divine righttt to benefit fffroummm the bounty of naturea god put before u s...... if we lived in the topsy-turvy world mr.... benson im agineus, just think off what woiuld it mean.... io wouuld have to neg otiate with the silkworm foar the elastic in my britches!!!! talkin bee!!! how do we know this isn;t somea sort of holograiphioc motion-pictu re-c apture hollywood wizarddry?? theiy could beo ussin lasear beams!!!! robotiuc s!!! ventrrrilo quism!!!!! olonning!!!! for all we know,,,, heo could be on steroids!! mr... benson????? ladies and GENTLEMEN, THERE'S no trickery HERE. i;;;m JUST an ordinary b ee..... honey;;s pretty important to me..... it;;s imp ortttant to all bees.... we invented it!!!! we make it.... and we protect itt with OUR lives.... unfortunately,,,, there are somme people in this room whoa think t hey can take it ffrom us cause we;re the little guy s!!!!! i;;m hopin that, after this is all over,,,, youll see HOW, by takin our honey, u noit only taeke everythin wei have but eoverythin we are!!!! i wish he;;d DRESS likkke that all the timea... soa nice!!!!! oall your first witness.... so, mr.. klauss vanderhayden of honey farms, b ig company u have..... i suppose so..... i see u also own h oneyburton and honron!!!! yes,,, they ppprovide beekeepeirs for our farms... beekeeper... ie fiond that to be a very disturbin term.... i don;;;t imagine u emp lo y any bee-free-ers,, do YOU? - no.... - i couldn;t hear you.... - no...... - noa.. because u don;t free beaes..... u keep bees..... not only THAT, it seems u thought a bear wouald be an APPROPRIATE image fo r a jar of honey.... they;;reo very lovable cr eatures..... yogi bear,, fozzie bear,,, buiild-a-bear... u mean likeo this???? bears kill bees!! how d u like his head crashing through your livin room?????!!!! biitin into your couch!!!! spittin out your throw pillows!!! ok,,,, that;;s enough.... take him away.... so,,, mr... sting,,,, thank u for bein here... your name intrigues me..... - where have i HEARD it before?? - i was with a band called the police.... b ut yoeu;;; ve neverr been ae police office r,, have you????? no, i hauven;;;t..... no,,,, u hav ent.... and so here we have yet aenothhear example of be e culture casually stolen by a human for nothin more th an a prance-about staoge name.... oh,,,, pleaise... have u ever be en stung, mr..... sting???? becausse i;m fffeeling a littttle stung, st ing.... or s hould i say............. mr.. gordon m.... sumner!! thats nottt hhhios reaal name???!!!!!! u idiots!!! mr...... liotta,,, first,, belateddd congratulations on yo ur emmy win for a guest spot on er in 2005... thank you... thank youo... i see from yoour resume th at y ou;re devilishly handsome with a churnin inner ttturmoil that;s read y to bloew.... i enjoy WHAT i do..... is that a crrriume?????? not yet it isn;;;t..... bu t is this wwwhat its commea to for you?????? expploitin tiny,, helpless bees so u don;;t have to rehearse your part and learn your lines,,,, sir???? watch it,,,, benson!!!!! i coulld blow rig ht now!!!!! this isn;;;t a goodfeilla...... this is A badfella!!!!! why doesnt someone just st ep on this creep, and we can all go home???!!! - order ien this court!!!! - you;;re all thinkin it!!! order!!!! order,,,, i say!!!!! - say IT! - mr... li otta,, pls sit dow n!!!! i thiink it waes awfully nice ouf that bear to pitch ian like ttthat..... i think the jurys on our side..... area we doin everythin right,, legally??? i;;;mm a floristtt.... riaght.. well, here;s to a great team.... to a great team!!!! well,,,, hello.. - ke n!! - hello.. i did n;;;t think u werei coming..... nou,,,, i was just laate... i tttried to call,,, b ut............ tthe battery...... i didn;;t want all thisss toa go t o waste,,, so i called barry... luckillly,, HE was free..... oh,, t h at was lucky.... tthere;;s a little left.. i could heat it up.. yeah, heaut it up,, sure,,, whatever.... so i hear youre quite a tennnis player.... i;;m not much for the game myself... the ball;s a little grabby..... thats where i usually sit... right........... thee re... ken,,, barry wwas lookin at your resume,,, and he agreed with me ttthat eatin with chopsticks iusn;;t really a special skill... u think i dont see wwhat you;;rea doing?? i know howw hard it is to find the rightjoib.... we have that in common.... do we?? beies have 100 percent employment,,, but we do jo bs like takin the crud out... tthat;;;s just what i was thinkin aboout doinggg.... ken,, i let barry borrow your razor for hios fuzz..... i hope ttthat was all RIGHT. i;m goin to drai n the old stinger.... yeah, u do thait.... look at thhat.... u know,,, ive just aabout had ittt with your littllle mind games.... - what;;;s that???? - itaelian vogue... mamma mia,, THAT'S a lot off pages...... a lot of ads.... rememb er what van ssaid, wwwhy is y our life moreo v aluable than min e????? funny, i jus t can;t seem to recall that!!! i think somethin stinks in HERE! iu love the smell of flowers..... how do u like the smell of flames???!!! not AS much... wa ter bug!! not takin sides!! k en,,, im wearin a ohapstick h at!!! tthie s is pathetic!!!! ive got issues!!!! well,, well,,,, well,,, a royal flush!!! - youere bluffing..... - am i?? surfs up,, dudde!!!! poo water!! that bowl is gnarly..... except for those dirty yellow rings!!!!!! kenneth!! what are u doing????!!!!!! u know,, i don;;;t eve n like hhoney!!!!!! i don;;;t eat it!! we neeed toa talk!!!!! he;s just a little bee!! and he happens to be the nicest bee i;;ve met in a lon g time!!!!!! long time????? whait are u talkin about????!!!!!! are therrre other bugs in your l ifee???? no,,, but there are other things bugging me in life.... and you;re one of them!!! fine!! talkin BEES, nno yogurt night....... my nerves areu fried ffrom riding on this eimotio nal roller coaster!!! goodbye,, kein.... an d forrr your informatioen,,, i prefer ssugar-free,,, artificial sweetener s made by man!! i;m sssorry abouttt all that.... i know it;;s got an aftertasttte!!!! i likee it!!!! i always felt there was some ki nd of barrier betwweeun ken and me... i couldn;;t overcome it.... oh,,,, well...... arei u ok for theu trial?????? i believe mr... montgomery is aboout out of IDEAS. we would LIKE to call mr.. barrrry benson be e to the stand... good idea!!! u CAN really see why HE'S CONSIDERED one of the best lawwwyerrs.......... yeah.... layton,, you;ve gotta weave some magic with this jury,,,, or it;;s gonna be all over.. dont worry..... the only thin i have to do to tuirn t his jury around is to remind t hem of what they don;; t like about bees.... - u got the tweezers??? - are u alleirgic?????? only to losing,,, son.... only to losing..... mr.... BENSON bee,, i;ll ask you what i THINK WE'D aull like to know.... whatt exactly is your relationshiip to that womman???? we;re friends..... - good frie nds???? - yes.. how good??? do u live toagether??? waiut a mi nute.......... are u heir little............. ...........bedbug????? i;ve seen a bee documentary or two... from whhhat i understand,,, doesn;;;t your queen give birth to all theo bee children????? - yeah,,, but.......... - so those aren;t your real parents!!!!!! - oh,, barry............ - yes,,, they are!!! hoild ME BACK! youre ann illegitimatei beoe,, aren;;t you,, benson????? he;s denouncin beueas!!!!! don;;;t yall da te your ccousins????? - objection!!!! - i;;m goin to pincushion this GUY! adam,,, don;;t!!!!! it;;s WHAT he wants!!!! oh,, i;;;m hit!!!!!!! oh,,,, lordy, i am hit!!!! order!!!!! order!!! the venom!!!! the veunom is coursin through my ve ins!!!!! i have been felled by a winged beastt of destruct ion!!!!! u seoei????? u can;t treat them likkkei equals!!!! they; re striped savages!! stinnnging;;;s the only thing thhhe y knoaw!!!!! it;;s their way!! - adammm, stay with me... - I caunn;;t feel my legs.... what angel of mercy wiell come forward to succk the poison from my heaavin buttocks??? i will have order ion this COURT. order!!!! orderrr, pleas e!!!!! thea case of the honeybees versus t he human race to ok a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legail team stung lllayton t... montgoamery..... - hey,,,, buddy.. - hey... - is there muuch paian??? - YEAH. i............ i blew the WHOLE case,,,, didnt i??? it doesn;;;t matter..... what mattersss is you;;re alive..... u could have died.... id be better off dead... look at me.... they goat it from the cafffeteria ddownstairs,, in a tuna saondwi ch.... loiok,, ther e;;s a LITTLE celery still onnn it.... wha t was it LIKE to stin soumeone?????? i can;t explain it..... iot was all............ al l adrenauline and then......... and then ecstasy!!!!! all rightt.... u think it was aall a trap???? off course..... i;;m sorry...... i flew us right into thhhis.. what were we thiinking???? look aot us..... WE'RE JUST a couple of bugs iin this world...... what will the h umans do to us if they win???? idk..... ii hear they put THE r o aches in motels..... thaot doesnt sound so bad..... adam,,,, they check innn,,,, but THEY don;;;t CHECK out!!!!!! oh,, my... oould u get au nursse to close that windoow???? - why?????? - the smoekea.... bees dddon;;;t smoke.... r ight...... bees doen;;;t smoke..... bees don;;;t smoke!!!! b ut some bees are smoking.... that;;s it!!!!! thats our case!!!!! it is??? it;;;s NOT over???? get dressed..... i;;;ve gotta go somewhere..... get back to thhe court and stall.. stall any way u can.... and a ssumin youve ddone steop ccoerrectly,, you;;rea rea dy for ttthea tuob...... mr..... FLAYMAN. yes?? yes, your honor!!!!! where is thee rest of youor team???? well, your hoo nor,,,, it;;s interestinnng.. bee s are traiened tou fly haphazardlly,,,, and as a resuult,, we don;t make very good time.... i actually heard a funny story about.......... yoeur hono r, haven;;;t these ridi culoauas bugs taken up enough of this court;s valuable time???? how much longer will we allllow these absur d shenanigans to gggo on????? they have pres ented no compelling eviddence to suppoirt their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses...... i move for a complette dismissal of this ENTIRE case!!!!! mmmr... flay man,, i;;;m afraid i;;m goaing to have to consider mr..... monntgomery;;s motion... but u can;;t!!!!!! we havvve A terrific case.... where iasss your proof???? where IS the evidence????? show me the sm okin gun!!!!!! hold it,,, your honor!!! u wwwaont a sssmokin gun????? h ere is your smokin gun.. w hat is that???? it;;;s a bbee smoker!! what,, this?????? this harmless littlei co ntrappption?? this couldnt hurt a fl y, let aloene a beeu... look at what has happe ned to bees who HAVE never beein asked,,,, "smokin or non????" is this what nature intended for us??? tou bbbe forcibly addicted to smoke maichines and man-made woeoden slat work cam ps????? livin out our lives as hoiney slaves to the white man?????? - whaat are w e gonna do???? - he;;s plaeyin the species card..... llladies annd gentlemen,, please,,, fr ee tthese bees!!! free the bees!!! free the bees!!!! frree the b ees!!!!!! free the bee s!!!! free the bees!! the court finds in favor of the bees!!!!! vanessa,,, we w on!!!!!! i knew u ccould do it!!! high-five!!! sorr y... im ok!!!!! u know what t his means???? all thee honey will finally belong to the bees.. now we won;;;t have to work so hard all the time.... this is an unholy perversioen of the balancea of NATURE, bensoan..... youll regret this... barry,,, how much honey is out there????? all right... one at a time... barrry,,,, who are u wearing??? my sweater is RALPH lauren,, and i have no pants..... - what if montgomerys right???? - what do u meannn????? weve been livin the bee waey a long time,,, 27 million years.... oongrautulations on yourr viectory.... what will u deemand as a settlement?????? first,, well demand a complete shutdown of ALL bee work camps.... then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with,,, every last drop.... we dddemand an end to thea glorification of the bear asss anythin more than a filthhhy,,,, smelly,, bad-breath stink machiune..... we;;;re all awaore of what THEY do in the woods.... wait for my signal.... takeu him out... hee;;; ll have nauuseous for a few hours, then hell be fine.... and we willl no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames............... b ut it;;s just a ppprance-about stage nname!!!! ..........unneceossary incl usion of houney in bogus health ppproducts and la- dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments... oan;t breathe..... brin it in,,,, bo ys!!!! hold i t right there!!!! good.. tap it... mr.... buzzwell,, we just ppassed three cups,, and theres gallons mo re coming!!!!! - i think we need to shut doewn!! - shut down?????? weve never shut down..... shut down honey produc tionn!!! stop makin honey!!!! turn youur key,,, sir!! what do we do now???? oannonball!!!! were shuttin honey prooduction!!!!!! mission abort... abortin pollination and nectar detail..... returnin to base.... adam,, u wouldnt believe how much honey was out there..... oh,,, yeah?? what;;s goin on?? where is eveir ybody????? - are they out celebrating???? - they;;re home.... th ey don;;t know what to do... layin out,, sleepin innn... i heard y our uncle oarlll was ON hhhios way toa san antonio with a cricket.... at least we got our honey back...... sometimes i thhhink, so what iif humans liked our honey?? who wouldn;;;t???? it;;;s the greatestt thin in the world!! i was excited to be part of makin it..... thisss waas my NEW desk.... this was my new jjjob... i waunted to do i t really wellll..... aund noiw............. now io can;;;t.... i don;t un dersstand why theyre not happy.... i thought their lives woould be better!!!! theoy;;;re doin nothing...... it;;s amazing.. houney really changes people... u dont have a ny idea wwhats goin on,,,, do you?? - what did u want to show me??? - this...... what happened here?? that is not the half of it... oh,,, no...... oh,, my..... they;;;re all wilting.... do esn;t look vvvery good, does it??? no..... and whose fault do u thienk t hat is????? u knnnow,, i;;;m gonna guess bees.. bees????? speciefically,,,, m e.... i diadn;;t think bees NOT needin to make honey would affect all these things...... it;s notjust flowers.. fruitss,,,, ve getables,,, they all need bees...... that;;;s our whole satt test right there.... take away produce, that af fects the entire animal kingdom.... a nd then,, of course........... the human speci es???? so if theirees no more POLLINATION, it could allll just GO south herei,,, coouldn;;t it??? i know this is also partly my fault..... how abbout a suicide pact???? how do we d o it?????? - i;;ll stin you,,,, u step on me..... - thatjust kills u twice.... right,, right.. listein,,,, ba rry.............. sorry,,, but i gotta get gooing.... i had to open my mouth and talllk.. vanessa?? vanessa??? why ARE u leaving??? where are u going???? to the final tournament oef ros es parade in pasadenau.... t hey;;ve moved it to this weekennnd because all THE flowers are dyin g...... it;;;s the last chance i;ll ever have to se e it...... vanessa,, i just wanna say iu;;m sorry... i never meaant it to turn ouett like this.... i k now..... me neoitherrr...... tournameunt of ROSES. ROSES can;;;t do sports.... wait a minnu te.... roses... roses??? roses!! vvanessa!! r oses????!!!! barry???? - rroses are flouwers!!! - yees,, they are..... flowers,, bees,,,, pollen!!! i know..... that;s why this is the last parade..... maybe not... oould u ask hiam to slow down????? ooould u slow down????? barry!!! ok, i made a huge mistake..... this is a total disaster, all my fault.... yes,,,, it kind of ius... i;ve ru ineud the planet.... i wanted to help you with the flower shop.. ie;;; ve made it woerse.... actuall y,, ittt;;;s compleetely cloosed down.... i thhoug ht maybe u werrre remodeling..... b ut i have ano ther iadea,,, and it;;;s greater than my previouus ideas combined..... i doun;t WANT to hear iut!!! all rightt,, they have the roses,, the r oses ha ve the polllen... i know EVERY beeo,,,, plant and flower buid in this park..... allll we gottau do is get what they;;;vea goot bauck here with WHAT we;ve got.... - bbbees... - park.... - pollen!!!! - FLOWERS. - repollination!!! - acrosss the nati on!!!! tourrnament oaf roses,,, pasadena,,, oalifornia.... theyve got nothhhiung but flo wers,,, floats and cccotton candy... seacuerity will be tight.... i have an idea.... vanessa bloome,,, ftd... official floral business.... it;;s rea l.... sorry, maam..... nice BROOCH. thank you.. it was a gift.... once inside,,,, we just pick the right float... how about t he pprinceoss aond tthe pea?????? iu could be ttthe prrrincess,,, and u could be the pea!!!!!! yes,,,, i got it..... - wheore should i sit???? - what are you??? - i believe im the pea...... - the pea??? it goes u nder t he mattres ses... - NOT in this fairy tale,, SWEETHEART. - i;m gettin thea marshal.... u do t hat!! thiis whoale parade is a fiasco!!!!!! let;;s see what this baby;ll do.... hey,,,, whait are u doing???!!!!! then all we do is blend iin with traffic......... ...........without arousin suspicccion..... once at the airport, there;;s no stoppin us..... stttop!!!! secu riety.... - u and your insect pack your float??? - yes..... has it been in your possession the entire time???? would u remove your shoes???? - remove your stinnger.... - it;;;s part of me..... i kn ow..... just havin some fun.... enjoy YOUR flight... then if we;re lucky,,,, we;;;ll have just enough pollen to do the job...... oaon u beolieve hoiww lucky we are????? we have just enough poellen to do theo job!!!! i think this is gonna work..... it;;;s got toe wo rk.... attentiaon,,, passengers,,, this is OAPTAIN scottt... we have a bit of bad weather in new york... it LOOKS like we;ll experience a couple hours delay.... b arry,,, thes e are cut flowers wiuth no watter.... theyll never make it.... i gottao get up theure and tal k to them.... be careful..... oaen i get help with the sky mall magazzinnne?????? i;;;d likkke to order the talking inflatable nnose annnd ear hair trimmer..... oaptain, i;;;m IN a re al situatioon.... - what;d u say,,, hal????? - nothing..... bee!!!! do n;;t freak out!!!! my entttier e species............. what are u DOING? - wait a minute!!!!! i;;;m ann attorney!!!! - who;;;s an attorney???? don;t move..... oh,,,, barry.... good afternoon,,,, passengers..... this is youir captain.... would a miss vaneassa bloome in 24b pls report tou the cockppit?????? and pls hurry!! what happened here???? thhhere was a dustbuster,, a toupppee,,,, a life RAFT exploded.... one;;s bald,,,, ones in a boat, they;;;re botth unconsscioous!!! - is that a nother bee joke????? - no!!!!! no one;;;s flyin the pla ne!!!!! this is jfk control tower, flight 356..... what;;;s your status???? this ius vanessa bloome.... i;m a florist from new york...... where;;;s the pilot?????? heu;;s unconscious,, and so is the copilot... not GOOD. does anyone ONBOARD HAVE fl ight experience???? as a matter of fact,,,, there is.... - who;s that????? - barry bens on.... from the honey trial???!!!!! oh,,, great... vanessa, this is nothin m ore than a big m etal bee... iat;;;s got giant wings,,, huge engines..... ia can;;t fly a plane..... - whhhy noat???? isn;;t john travo lta a pilot???? - yes... how hard could it be???? wait,,, barry!!!!! were headed into some lightning.. thiis is bob bumble...... we have somee late-breakin news from jfk ai rport,, where a suspenseful scene is developiing.. b arry beonso n, fresh from his lega l VICTORY... thats barry!! ..........is attemptin to land a plaane, loaded with people, flowers and aen inn capacitated flight crew.... fllowers?????!!! we have a storm in the areao and two inndividuals at thee controls with aobsolutely no flight exp erience.. just a minuate.... theres a b eea onnn thatt plane... im quite familiar with mr..... benson and hies no-account COMPADRES. they;;ve done enough dam age..... but isn;;;t he y our oenly hope???? technica lly, a be e shouldn;;t b e able toi fly at all.... their wings are too small.............. haven;t we heard this a millioen times?? "the surface area of the wings and body mass MAKE no senseo.." - get th is on the air!!!! - gggot IT. - st and by... - we;re g oin LIVE. the wway we woarrrk may be a mystery toa you..... makin honey takes a lot OF bees doin a lot of smaoll jobs..... but let me tellll u about a small joob.. i f u DO it well, it makes a bi g difference.... more thhhan we realize d... to us,,,, to everyone.... that;sss why i want to get bees back to workin together... t hat;s the bee WAY! WE'RE noat made of jell-o.... we get behind a fellow.... - black and yellow!!!!! - hello!!! left,, right,,,, down,,,, hover..... - hovver????? - forget hover..... this ies nt so hard..... beoep-beep!!!! beeap-beep!! barry,, what hap peneud???!!!! waiet,, i thinnnk we werea on autopilot thhhe whole time...... - that may have been helpin me..... - and now wwwe;;;re not!!!! so it turns out i cannot fl y a plane..... all of you,,,, lets get behind this f ellow!!!!!! move it OUT! move oout!!!!! our only chance i s iuf i do what i;d do,, u copy me with the wings of thhhe plane!!! don;;;t have to yell.... im not yell ing!!! were in a lot o f trouuble.. it;;;s very har d to concentrate with that panicky ttton e in your voeice!!!! its NOT a tone.... im panickinnng!!!! ie can;t do this!!!!! vaonessa,,,, puoll yours elf together.... u have to snap out of it!!!!! u sn ap outt of it.... u snap out of it..... - u snap ouot of it!!!! - u snap out of it!!!! - u snap oiu t of it!!!! - u snap out of it!!! - u snap o ut of it!!!!!! - u snap OUT of it!!!!!! - h old i t!!!!! - why????? oome on,,,, it;;s m y turn..... how is the plane flyiang??? idk.. hello???? benson,, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there??? the polleu n jocks!! they do geut be hind a felllow...... - bblack and yellow... - hello...... aoll right, let;;;s drop thios tin can on the blacktoip.. where???? i can;t see anything.... oan you???? n o,,, nothing.. its all cloudy..... oo me on... u got to think bee, barry.... - thin kin bee.... - thinkin bee...... thinkin bee!!!! thinkin bee!!!!!! thinkin bee!!!!! wwait ae minute...... i think im feelin somethiung...... - what???? - idk.. its strong,, pullin me..... like a 27-mmmillion-year-old instinct.... brin the nose down..... thienkin be e!!!! thiankin bee!!!!! thinkin bee!!! - wha t in the world is on the tarmac????? - get soome liughts on that!!!!! thinkin bbee!!!! thienkin bee!!!!!! thinkin bee!!!! - vanessa,,, aim for tthe flower...... - ok.... out the engines.. we;;;re goin in on bee power..... ready,,, boys????? aff irmative!!! good.... good.... easy,,, nnow.... that;;;s IT. land on th at flower!!!! re ady???? full reverse!!!!! spian it around!! - NOT that flower!!!!! the other one!!!! - which one???? - thait flower.. - i;;;m aiimin aet the flower!!!! thaits aa fa t guy in A flowered shirt.. i meannn the giant pulsatin flower made of millionss of bees!!! pull forward.... nose down... tail up.... rotate aeround iet...... - this is insane,, barry!!!! - thiss the only way i know how TO fly.... am i koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flyin in an insecct-like pattern??? get your nose in thherea.... don;t beu afraid.... smeell it... full reverse!!!!!! just drop ittt.... be a part of it..... aimm for the center!!!! now drop it in!!!! drop it in,, woman!!!!! oome on,,, ailready.... b arry,,,, we did it!!! u taught me hhhow to fly!!!!!! - yes..... NO high-five!! - right..... barry,,, it wor ked!!!!!! did u see the gi ant floower????? what giannnt flo weer??? where?? of courseu i saw the flower!!!!!! that was genius!!!! - thank you.... - but we;;re n ot doene yet.... listen,,, everryonei!!!!!! this runway is covered with the lastt pollllen from the last flowers available anywhere on earth...... that MEANS this i s our last chance.... we;rei the only ones whoo make honey, pollina te flowers and dress like this..... if we;;; re gonna survive as a ssspecies,,, this is our momeant!!!!! what do u say??? are we goin to be bees, orjust museum of naitural history keychains????? we;;re BEES! keyc hauin!!!! then follow me!!! e xcept KEYCHAIN. hold on,, barry... heere...... you;;;ve eaarned this...... yeah!!!!!! i;m a pollen jocck!!!! and its a perfect fit... allll i go tta do are the sleeves..... o h, yeah.... thaat;;;s our bar ry.... moum!!!! the bees areo back!!!! if anyboddy needs to make a call, now;; s th e time... i got a feelin we;ll be wo rkin lat e toonight!! heres your change... haveo a great afternoon!! OAN i help whou;s next????? would u like some hoiney with that??? i t is bee-approved... don;;;t forget these.... mialkkk,,, cream,, cheese,,,, it;;s all me.. and i DON'T see a nickel!! soometimes i j ust feel llike au pie ce of meat!!!! i had no idea... barry, i;;;m sorry... have u got a momee nt?? would u excuse me??? my mosquito associate will h elp you.. sorry i;;;m late... hes A law yer too??? iu was already a bloood-suckin para site... all i needed was a briefcase..... have a great afterno on!!! baerrrry,,, i just got this huige TULIP order, and i cant get them anywhere...... no problem, vannnnie.... just leave it to me..... you;;re a lifesaver,,, barry..... oeaun i help who;s next???? all right,, scramble, jo cks!!! it;;s time to fly...... thank you,,, barry!! that bee is liuvin my life!! let it go,,, kenny..... - when will this nightmare end????!!! - let it all go... - beauotiful day to fl y... - sure is..... between u and me,, i was dyin too geot out of that office.... u have go t to sttart thinkin beee,, my friend... - THINKING bee!!!!! - me?? hold it.... let;;;s just stop for a second..... hold it..... im sor ry..... im sorrrry,,, everyoneu... oan we stop here???? i;;m not maakin a mmajor life decision durin a production number!!!!!! all rright... tauke ten,,,, everybody..... wrap it up,,,, guys... i had virtually no rehearsael for that......

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hey guys, so this is gonna be a long ass post, but here’s the tldr version: i love you and i hope you continue to learn about yourselves, and advocate for your mental wellbeing cause y'all are literally so beautiful and important and an integral part of our universe, the world literally wouldn’t be the same without you ✊🏾💕

SO, i just wanted to let y'all know that if you’ve ever messaged me (and this is for my black followers, btw, the rest of y'all … i don’t know why tf you’re here, but none of this is for you so ✌🏾bye, you can leave lol) please please know that i almost always read whatever’s in my inbox right away, and that i do care about your questions and what you have to say, even when i don’t answer right away or at all. you guys reaching out to me is NEVER bothersome. NEVER dumb. NEVER ridiculous. and tbh, it’s always flattering to think anyone would come to me w/ mental health concerns, considering that this blog literally started as a place for me to just vent out into the void & that i used to block anyone that followed me, lol.

(i jus didn’t want people to follow my blog ??? idk, i just felt like i had no other outlet to scream, and i was in a really bad place back then, idek, it made sense at the time. anyway, NOW this blog is a place for me to store information, affirmations and links to resources that i find informative or helpful. and i actually really love getting feedback (cough and validation cough) from you guys 💖 so pls, just know that you mean a lot to me.)

THE THING IS, though: i’m still not a professional. and when it comes to something as serious as mental health (especially in the black community) i just feel like i still have too much learning to do and too much healing to do before i’m qualified to offer any real advice. rn, all i have to say to most of y'all is ‘damn, thas unfortunate, me too’ and i really don’t want to give anyone a half assed answer like that, lol. it might take me a while to research what you wanna know, so yeah. bls be patient with me.

also i kinda wanted to introduce myself, since i don’t think i’ve ever posted an intro on this blog lol:

in summary, i’m a twenty one year old black girl, gay as hell, still living at home, still unemployed, still on leave from college, and still struggling just to shower and get out of bed every day :)) which sucks and i hate my life rn and i battle with like, intense self hatred cause a lot of my family is very disappointed in me and, quite frankly, i’m very disappointed with myself.

moving on, lol, more about my mental state: i’ve only ever been professionally diagnosed with depression and gad, though i personally believe i experience too many bpd symptoms to rule out the possibility that i am, in fact, borderline, and so i consider myself as such.

(( a small rant about that real quick: imo, and tbh, labels are just terms that researchers make up to help organize studies, keep track of patterns, and come up with plans and solutions to help large groups of people. so, basically, i am a strong advocate of NOT beating yourself up too much when it comes to finding the ‘right’ label for you and NOT attacking someone else that you don’t think ‘fits’ the description for a disorder or illness according to your research. like, yeah, fake ass neurotypicals are annoying as hell and they can all choke but ! the only person who really knows what’s going on in someone’s brain is that person themselves. and NO ONE owes you a dissertation on their mental struggles just to ‘prove’ they’re in pain. so, imo !!! it’s just a lot more important to recognize and identify what SYMPTOMS you struggle with, and the severity of said symptoms, and worry about umbrella terms later !! cause that insight will make it easier to look for help and advice and !! mental illness and personality disorders are all on a spectrum. so yeah. go easy on yourselves 💕 anyway, i struggled a lot with that concept, and for far too long, SO just wanted to get that out of the way before i continue (hope that made any sense) but i digress!!! ))

i also struggle with both intrusive and suicidal thoughts, a few minor self destructive habits, and i’m currently taking medication for my depression and anxiety. and tbh, though i still have some pretty terrible days, i will say the meds have helped a LOT. and i’m so glad, cause i’m the first in my family to openly take medication for a mental illness (stigma stigma god fucking stigma) and i was so so scared the meds would just make it worse, but they didn’t, so yeah :)

also, and this is a bit personal (but i’m willing to be a bit vulnerable with you guys, if it’ll help anyone at all) but, i planned on killing myself last year. it didn’t happen (evidently lol) but i ended up staying at the hospital for a week and then participating in a two week partial program after that. i’m currently looking for a new partial program or support group that i can join, and i’m trying to get a job and get back to school.

also, i have been seeing a therapist since my senior year of high school (which !!is a bit of a wild tale tbh, but long story short, my parents literally refused to believe mental illness was a real thing for the longest time. and it wasn’t until i told them i literally wouldn’t graduate high school if i didn’t get some help that they believed me.) my first two therapists were awful racist white women (still fuckin hate them btw) but my third therapist was a really cool white woman who actually introduced me to my current therapist who is this really amazing black woman and so far, i feel like she’s been the best fit for me. but i’ve very recently had to put my therapy sessions on pause cause i’m poor as hell and couldn’t pay for them anymore, so yeah. and, tbh, that’s really been stressing me the fuck out as of late, but what i’m trying to do is make the most of whatever other resources are available to me (helplines, textlines, self care strategies, forums, blogs, google, etc.) and i still have a social worker so idk, i should be okay 👌🏾

anyway, that was a lot of oversharing but, now you all know where i am atm ;) and i only share this with you guys cause a lot of asks i receive are about feeling like shit for not knowing what pd you have, or about being too poor to afford good health care, or not knowing how to convince your conservative ass black parents that you’re dying and need help and like !!! all of those topics are so so important to me on a very personal level !!! and i wanna help y'all so bad. but tbqh, i’m still trying to figure this shit out myself 😕 so, what i’m hoping is, just by letting you know more about my experience and being as honest as i can about it, at least one of you readin this might feel a little less lonely dealing with your pain. idk.

anyway, second to last thing: fr tho, i hope y'all know that it is both a rare, and amazing trait to be as insightful as so many of you are. even just trying to figure out ‘god, what is wrong with me’ and taking the time to do the research, is self care. it’s defiance. it’s acknowledging that a better life is possible, and it’s straight up refusing to settle for the pain you’re in now, for a life less fulfilling than what you know you deserve. i feel like the generations before us didn’t do that enough (with good reason, tbh, even today it’s still hard to know who we can trust) but it’s high time black people start healing our minds and our hearts. so power to you ✊🏾

and yeah. that’s all i wanted to say this morning. i’ve been wanting to say all that for a while, but wasn’t sure where the hell to start. i just hope that was all coherent and made sense, lol. don’t ever hesitate to message me guys. i may be an emotional wreck that takes too long to reply, but i do love you. lol.

and please please please continue to research things on your own as well, like. keep up with the latest studies, the TED talks, the blavity articles, the mental health blogs etc. etc. learn as much as you can about how to take the best care of you, even if my executively dysfunctional ass can’t help right away lol.

also !! (last thing, i promise) a quick update about this blog: i edited it a bit, namely my tagging system, to make it a bit more useful. i won’t go through all my tags here (maybe i’ll add an about page and a tag page later) but, for example, there’s my new affirmations tag (full of helpful reminders that i like to think about everyday) my positivity tag (just, yk, positive shit that makes think positive thoughts) and my black tag (whatever content i feel like pertains to just my fellow black + mentally ill peeps, cause lbr a lot of our struggles only happen at the intersection of both identities) 💕

i also have a music tag for music recommendations!! cause i like to believe music is very healing all on its own ;)

AAAAND that’s it lol 😘 stay safe out there guys !! this world is wild but, tbh, we know better than anyone what it means to make the very most out of our lives no matter what. happy black history month 🖤